how can you help a passive/agrasive person to tell or asks you straight out for what they want or need?

Answer 1

Passive-aggressive people don't merely have problems telling you what they want or need. Their entire personality is wrapped up in controlling other people and circumstances by being ambivalent (really, secretive and uncommunicative) about their true wishes, and about being secretive, uncommunicative and ambivalent concerning whether they will cooperate with others' wishes. Indeed, they are conflicted about commitment and responsibility in a broad sense. And passive-aggressivity, like many personality disorders, is not likely to improve unless the person decides to change on their own. The typical P-A person had a parent or other caretaker who was authoritarian and didn't permit them to express their desires openly. Being P-A gave them a strategy, albeit a negative one, for hanging onto a semblance of control over their lives.

So, you can tell this person that you need them to communicate directly, and I wish you luck, but if they don't respond after one warning, you should severely limit your time and communication with them, and you should not rely on them for anything at all. I know that sounds severe, but P-A people are rather dangerous types and they cause a lot of damage in the lives of others.

Answer 2

I lived with a clinically passive-aggressive husband for 10 years. It took me almost that long to realize how to handle him...the first thing is to arm yourself with all the information you can about passive aggressive behavior, because the important thing in handling it, is to know when you're being manipulated. The passive aggressive personality fails...every time...when there's no audience to play to.

There's a great book on this subject called: "Living With The Passive-Agressive Man" by Scott Wetzler. If your P/A person is female, this will still be helpful because the disorder doesn't discriminate.

I bought this book, and PURPOSELY left it out where my husband could see it, so that he was well aware that "the jig was up" and I was 'arming myself for battle', so to speak....I even caught him reading it once. Almost immediately, his behavior started changing once he knew I was 'on to him'...

Answer 3

Asking them seems to be a reasonable direct and openly communicative response....Passive when relaxed and in repose, aggressive when roused to anger and passionate about a subject, issue or topic.

Are not all normal persons the above.....

Answer 4

There is no point in you racking your brain over someone else's weird behavior. Every time that person gets upset with you, tell him/her that he/she could have told you what he/she wanted and then you wouldn't have did what you did. Just keep taking what they tell you at face value. This will take time but they will slowly get the idea.

Answer 5

The movie WHAT ABOUT BOB should help you navigate this problem

Answer 6

As soon as I figure out what an "agrasive" person is,
I'll let you know! ;)