My mother accidentally hit our 5 year old family Pug yesterday. It was a complete freak accident and she was driving carefully, he just ran under the car at the wrong time. When we got to the vet, he was already dead (he probably broke his neck instantly, we just didn't want to believe it until the vet pronounced him dead). My mother blames herself and is very upset as he was greatly loved by our family. How can we persuade our mom to forgive herself and accept that it was just a freak accident?
2007-12-27 06:27:16 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It was an accident. Just tell her taht. Tell her you love her and you dont blame her. it was just an accident
2007-12-27 06:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♫Don't Worry. Be Happy.♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besides telling her it's was an accident,
try telling her that people make mistakes
that it's normal to feel guilty.
that your sure she feels terrible.
and that you understand that.
and that you hope one day she can forgive herself, in the same way that you all have forgiven her.
align with her feelings rather than convince her that she didn't do anything wrong.
I mean, she is blaming herself cuz she ran over the dog...and she did run over the dog.
, it is what it is, but align with the feeling terrible part and the accidents happen part and the time willheal this pain part.
Convincing someone that feels guilty not to feel guilty is an impossible task. Acknowledging their PAIN around the guilt gives them a way to talk about it.
Best of luck....sorry about your families loss.
2007-12-27 14:45:18 · answer #2 · answered by noonereally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try the emotional blackmail route. Talk about how much everyone loved the dog, and how much the dog loved the family. Point out that the dog wouldn't want anyone to be sad, so everyone needs to focus on the what a wonderful dog it was, how much happiness it brought, and forget the sadness of the accident.
2007-12-27 14:50:13 · answer #3 · answered by VirtualSound 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her accidents happen and that you all love her. Not much else you can do. My hubby hit our dog last year and he felt horrible for a long time. Maybe you could ask her to help you make a little scrapbook of pictures and fond memories of your dog. Everyone could write their favorite thing about the dog down. That way everyone gets their feelings out and you have something to remember him by. If you don't have an pictures you could make drawings and write in it.
2007-12-27 14:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by danie23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is any thing you can do but keep telling her its not her fault it will prob take awhile for Get to get over it just keep reassuring her its not her fault and tell her no one blames her and everyone Will have to tell her. I sorry about your dog I know they become part of the family.
2007-12-27 14:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by Working Mum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that its not her fault because anyone could have been driving at the time, it just happened to be her. also, tell her if its anyones fault, its the pugs, because HE walked in font of the car. and if she trys to say it was just a helpless pug, tell jer shes a helpless driver.
good luck, im sorry, and happy new year
2007-12-27 14:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mo! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it easy...
i know its hard but all she can do is just believe that it was only an accident and these happen.
get a new pet... maybe like a cat that is less likely to run on streets and stuff.
2007-12-27 14:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm really sorry to hear that. I know how hard that can be. Tell your mother it's not her fault, and that she has nothing to feel guilty about. Again I'm sorry to hear that. Best of luck! :)
2007-12-27 14:47:37 · answer #8 · answered by bitchez n hoez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im soo sorry about your dogg.
i think you jsut have to keep tellin her it was an accident and it could have happend to anyone of you guys.
2007-12-27 14:37:28 · answer #9 · answered by mmhhm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats a pug? im so sorry for your loss
I lost my cat this year in a dog cat fight. R.I.P pug and my cat
2007-12-27 14:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by Love peace and chicken grease 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋