if you were married,what would you say to your spouse ?

Question

if you were expecting them home at a certain time..and they didn't show up till 3 hours later..and you asked..''where were you'' ?..and they gave you that whats it to ya look and said.. ''don't worry about it''

HL..MY AVATAR!!??...comb your hair biatch!!.

Answer 1

I wouldnt say anything, i'd be gone for 6 hours the next day talk to a divorce lawyer while I was out and when I got home and he asked "where were you?" I'd say .... "dont worry about it, you'll see" ... lol

Answer 2

Perhaps you might consider changing your approach. "When you ask "Where were you?" it automatically puts a person on the defensive, so you end up getting an answer that is not what you are looking for. If you change your approach, then he will change his response.

In future just say how you feel. For example, "I was getting worried, that something might have happened to you." Leave some time for him to respond...then say "In future, I would really appreciate it if you would show me some respect by letting me know if you are going to be getting home late, so I am not left to worry, or so I can hold off on dinner." Or, wait until he has been home for awhile to see what she has to say, and then just tell her the truth. "3 hrs is a long time to be out without a phone call especially when you said you would be home at ... I am concerned as to why you wouldn't call."

If you change how you word it to make it less of an attack will likely draw out an answer that is not defensive. If you change your words and she is still defensive, or still concealing, then you have a problem because the communication has broken down, and you need to explore that. It could be because something is up, but it could be something just between the two of you that is causing this riff.

Answer 3

I'd of course ask where they were. If I didn't get a satisfactory answer, I'd do the same to them. And when they asked me where I was, I'd say "the same place you were the other day when I asked you the same question. How do YOU like it?"

Look, disrespect of another person's feelings is never right. Being 15 minutes late isn't a big deal, but 3 hours? You have a right to an explanation. Or at least a phone call saying you were gonna be late & why.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I'm not saying 2 wrongs make a right, but obviously, this person needs to see what it feels like to be shut out & disrespected like you were.

Good luck.

Answer 4

If my wife responded with "don't worry about it", I would point out that,
I am worried about it. That I want to know why she did not exhibit the common courtesy to call with her whereabouts. That I would like an explanation for this this and it had better be verifiable. That it has all the appearance of cheating and she can take her butt back out that door immediately if she was. I would add that I would never pull off such a maneuver and would have called. I would demand an explanation why she did not offer the same.

Usually that will set things in motion toward resolution.

Answer 5

That answer would not fly with me, and personally, I'd press the issue til I got an answer that seemed to be the truth. We wouldn't go to bed that night til I felt it was over, not them. If I got no results from that; Then I'd go out a few weeks later and say I'll be back to pick you up @ 9pm so we can go out to this place I found... Come back @ 2 am pissy drunk and when she asked me where I was, I'd run to the bathroom to throw up. As a woman, I'd never do something like that to my husband unless there was someone else that I felt I could fall back on....usually it's the husband doint that to the wife.

Answer 6

When you are expecting them home at a certain time and they come in 3 hours later, I think that you deserve a reason. That is just disrespect. If he thinks that you dont deserve an answer than what you do deserve is someone else. That isnt right and no one deserves that!

Answer 7

If I were married, I would tell my husband that I loved him and was concerned enough about his well being. I would ask him why he didn't call me in advance and let me know about his plans of arriving late. The emphasis would be on respect, concern, and that there may have been other plans made during the time when he was out so long, or an emergency, etc.


http://journals.aol.com/sisgail/MyLifesJourney/

Answer 8

I totally agree with Warrior's answer. If she can't give you a truthful response, and disrespects you with that kind of a retarded answer, do it to her, and see how she feels, but I would also keep a close eye on who she talks to and where and when she leaves the house. Check the mileage on her car before she says she's going somewhere, then you can tell if she only did run to the store, or if she went somewheres else too.

Answer 9

Well, you could play games and do the same thing to her sometime.

OR

As an adult, you could talk to her. Tell her that you are worried about it because you care about her. Explain that common courtesy would dictate a phone call if she is going to be late.

If you don't get the answer/respect you are looking for...then I would seriously start to question your relationship.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

With that answer I often say "well if you don't respect me enough to call and you won't have the decensy to tell me where you have been then just remember turn about is fair play!" You would be suprised how quickly I can get an answer that is satisfactory with that statement. Add just the right look and they will be all but pleading you to allow them to answer that question!
Momma_Bear

Answer 11

Sounds like the spouse is hiding where they were. Maybe with someone else? Was it around the holidays, maybe he was christmas shopping? Maybe spouse was just having a bad day and didn't want to talk about it.