I was aching, talking about my broken heart with a friend, and he said in the grand scheme of things, love is a very small thing. I need to think about my career, my other responsibilities, and see the big picture. Was he right?
My life seems to be in chaos and my soul needs mending. My entire self needs a re-haul. I am drained with regret and loss - something I gave my all to and still kept losing.
Is this Really a very small thing in the grand scheme of things?
Am I really just supposed to brush it off like it was nothing?
2007-12-27 05:58:30 · 11 answers · asked by ? 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
No offense, but your friend is a fool. Maybe he means well by giving you that advice. But his role right now is to just 'listen'. Whether he gets tired of hearing it or not, a true friend just 'listens'. Because that's what you need. And truthfully, you're not ready to 'see the big picture' right now. Give yourself some time to do that. You'll know when you are ready. But you have to let yourself heal first. You can't go from point A to point E overnight.
While thinking about your career, your other responsibilities and 'seeing the big picture' are all important. Of course you shouldn't let those things slide! BUT, it's also VERY IMPORTANT for you to FEEL what you are FEELING! If you suppress them, you will NEVER truly heal. Don't do that to yourself! Because in the long run you'll only be doing more harm than good to yourself by ignoring those feelings.
Yes I know it's hard, I'm going through something similar myself, and the wound is still fresh for me, but you will come through this, just like I know I will. You have to take it one day at a time. ^_^
The important thing is take care of yourself right now. If you have to keep a journal and write all your feelings down, no matter what they are (anger, sadness, sorrow, regret all those feelings are normal), then DO IT! If it makes you feel better to talk about it to everyone then you DO IT! All of that helps with the healing process. Whatever you feel is right for YOURSELF. You do it. Because YOU are the important one right now. And never forget that!
I've been reading "Mars and Venus Starting Over" By John Gray and it's very helpful, maybe you should pick up a copy.
2007-12-28 13:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by Piazgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think heartbreak is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. When your heart breaks it totally makes you incapable of carrying on with anything till time heels it. You never seem to forget the pain from it but you learn to live through it and learn from it.
Yes career and responsibilities are important to continue to do but it is a difficult time to be able to handle them.
To Me, Love is the most important thing in this world of ours. Love is what life is truly all about. You can have a career, responsibilities, and money but none of this means anything at all without someone to share it with.
When you lose that love then of course your heart breaks and all the meaning in life seems to be at a stand still. Nothing seems important any more because the very thing you were scheming for is gone and no one to share it with.
So... on the grand scale love is the most important thing and if we lose it then the heartbreak begins. Heartbreak is not a small thing!
2007-12-27 06:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by craft painter 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If by "the grand scheme of things" you mean the whole Universe, then yes, but not in terms of people's lives or even the whole Earth. Probably a lot of what goes wrong in the world is ultimately caused by heartbroken people who have thrown their lives into, say, a political or military career and have become bitter and twisted. This does apply more to the Western world because romantic love isn't necessarily valued as much elsewhere, but because Westerners tend to have more power, it doesn't really make any difference.
I have a support group you might want to join:
groups.yahoo.com/group/unrequitedlove
2007-12-27 06:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by grayure 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depends what your conception of the "grand scheme of things" is. In the grand scheme of life on Earth, one's career and other responsibilities may also be small things. I don't think that, In the grand scheme of one's own life, love is a small thing in relation to career. You can make a very nice career for yourself, and if you don't have love, what is it worth?
However, one can certainly get hung up on love and hang onto the pain of a broken relationship for a long time. This is so if we are hanging onto the past--our childhoods--to the point that we are not really living in the present. And that is something that most of us do. We create our present relationships by our memories of past ones that we hold onto, and then, when the relationships fall apart, we feel pain that is to a large degree a reliving of past pain. And then we hold onto the memory and pain of the relationship just as we do to the past one.
There is another possible angle here. Relationships can be expressions of addiction rather than love, in which the other person is viewed as an object to be used. I think most of us, with our destructive way of life that breeds high levels of addictions of all kinds, struggle with this. And meeting one's responsibilities is far more important than the feeding of addiction. Of course, work can also be an expression of addiction, as in the workaholic, and one has responsibilities within one's relationships. So maturity is a matter of meeting one's responsibilites where they really are, in all areas of life. Both love and career can be small or great, depending on how much you give to them.
2007-12-27 06:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by yet-knish! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can decide that of all the people on earth in your age bracket, you are the only one who gives this person the power to hurt your life. You can decide to be one of the millions who don't care. Click.
This is not theory. I have used it myself on an occasion where I sacrificed a brilliant career for someone and lost everything. The flaming sword in my chest disappeared once I decided to be one of those who don't give a damn about her.
2007-12-27 07:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
EVERYTHING is a really a small thing in the grand scheme of things.
2007-12-27 06:24:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
when somebody is hurt it is necessary for others to lend them their shoulder to lean on and cry on for sometimes .this make a person strong and when she becomes ready then only we should advice her that heart break is a small thing in the grand scheme of things.for a hurt person nothing is great in front of her grief.
2007-12-27 06:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by SHIVA 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Time puts into perspective the things that loom large now. Just ride it out. But no, I have not found heartache to be a small thing.
2007-12-27 06:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by Michael M 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The funny thing about heartbreak is, it only hurts while it's happening. The rest of your life is ALWAYS happening, and unlike heartbreak...you can't and shouldn't get over it.
2007-12-27 06:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by LolaCorolla 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think your friend was right. love can be compared as an ant to the sun, maybe even smaller in my eyes. but if its important to you... i don't know. love is seen differently by everyone and their definition of it is always different as well. but if something's important to you, reach for the stars. even better- reach for the stars a galaxy over.
2007-12-27 06:50:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋