My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. He is kind, attractive and I love him with all my heart. About 6 months ago, our sex life came to a halt. I love him, I think he is sexy but I am just too tired. His work schedule allows him to be off 3-5 days a week but mine is Monday-Friday 8-5 plus i am in school full time. When I get home, I usually have to hurry right back out to class or do homework. Either way, I am always exhausted and just cannot get in the mood.
I know I am hurting him. Most women are juggling jobs, marriages, and many other responsibilities. If anyone has found an answer to this problem, please help me. Serious answers only!
2007-12-27 05:47:44 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you have to make time for it. even if it's just a quicke.
2007-12-27 05:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not many in your situation can make it. But there is just one suggestion I can make, considering you are not willing to take less classes, which I wont recommend, because it will only make you stay in school longer.
Create a schedule that is very strict, on where he knows you are now to study, and also you will have a time reserved for personal matters that is a "must have" and that is no-negotiable with anything, you don't even answer the phone in that time that is dedicated for you and him, and all exams or projects must wait, because it's you and his time.
With that the person will realize it is a priority in somehow, or at least will believe, but it's a way of expressing it is important, and not being with no schedule, in "random times", that's not good, there has to be a time reserved, a schedule is critical.
Remember that is not about quantity, it's also about quality time.
2007-12-27 15:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't make time for your husband.. someone else will. By that I'm not trying to be harsh.. just real. Maybe you could try to lessen your work and school load for a little while so the two of you could reconnect. If he's as kind, attractive and you love him as much as you say you do.. that won't be a problem for you. Every man has needs. (not saying at all that yours aren't just as important).. But, you have to meet in the middle. Intimacy should be a wonderful thing between two people who love each other. Sex isn't a chore. If you continue to treat it like one of your "responsiblities".. your marriage will suffer. And, if he's not getting the attention and intimacy from you that he needs.. Sweetie, he may just look elsewhere for it.
2007-12-27 13:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is going part-time with the classes an option? I know going full time will get you done quicker, but if it kills your marriage and you end up losing someone you love with all your heart, what have you gained?
I'm not one of those knuckle-dragging right wing psychos who go around telling women to give up everything for their man....but sometimes you do have to step back just a bit in order to preserve something that is really important to both of you......career advancement and education are important, but if you lose your love, there's no guarantee that you'll be able to get him back, or find another one somewhere down the road. You won't be sorry.
2007-12-27 14:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by Yinzer Power 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest making a date night- perhaps Saturday evening. You don't have to go out. You could have a nice simple dinner (or order out), light some candles, have some wine , put on some soft music and dance. Think about when you first met and some of the romantic things you did. Don't think of school or work or anything else during your special time. Just think of how much you love your husband and that you want him to be happy. Since you are so busy, you have to make time for your husband, just like you make time to study, etc. You'll see that things will work out.
2007-12-27 14:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by sanddune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make time for intimacy, you just have to! Before your husband becames so lonely that he decides to find it somewhere else, unfortunately sex is part of a healthy marriage, a very important part, how about waking up a half hour early and doing it then? I have been married for 15 years and that is the ONE thing we don't ever withold from each other and always make time for, send him a love note, make an appointment with each other, drink some coffee whatever but give that good man some loving!
2007-12-27 13:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by pura_rosa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you...anyone juggling what you're juggling would have a similar reaction. Every so often you two should plan a getaway to reconnect so that you don't damage your relationship in the short term while building for the future. I'm sure he understands and applauds your efforts, but he misses you, too. Good luck in this effort, and Happy New Year.
2007-12-27 13:54:24 · answer #7 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it worth it to maybe take a day off to have a romantic day with him? You do not have to give up love and romance for the sake of work and school. You have the control of your life, so take it. It sounds like you are being pulled around by everything and you have almost given up on your self.
You have to take back at least a little control. Make the time or you may find yourself with plenty of it if he leaves you for another woman.
Yoda out
2007-12-27 13:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a holiday! You love him and find him sexy, so that's great - hope you've been able to explain to him what's going on, then together you can put it right.
Champagne can work wonders, romantic/sexy books,films or a trip to Ann Summers - anything that works for you is ok. Normal relationships ebb and flow - there's nothing quite like the beginning of falling in love, but after, comes richer, deeper love. Trust me - I've been married 35 years!
2007-12-27 14:03:42 · answer #9 · answered by JOHN E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honey I know what you are going through. Same thing happened to me and he went out on me, but that shouldn't be the case with you. Even if you work, have kids, and a house to take care of, just remember who is important in all of this. YOU. If you don't take time for yourself, all of those things that you take care of would not function properly because you are not at your best to do them. Even if you have to call in sick at least once, do it just to spark the relationship. Also, you can talk to him about it and see if he has any suggestions as how he can help you around the house or whatever else that can make things easier on you so that you have less on your plate. When your time does come to be intimate with your man, girl throw all of your worries to aside and focus on you and him, and the things that made you fall in love with him and be with him. Believe me you will be in the mood after that. I had to much things on my mind that when it came down to it, I never enjoyed sex with my ex. But just focus on you and the rest will fall into place.
2007-12-27 13:58:17 · answer #10 · answered by 2cute4u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to marriage hell and reality. The second both of you say "I do" your loving relationship was over. Some people realize this in weeks and get divorced other lie to
themselves for years. You just realized it!!! The circumstances are just an excuse. Marriage even destroys
soul mates. Take an honest look at all the married couples you know!?? Are any of them still truly "in love"!??! NO. What do they have in common? They all got married. I have
seen couples that are not married still head over heels in love after 15 years and going strong!!! If you are ever in love again don't change it and stay happy. Good luck!!!
2007-12-27 14:03:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋