I was going thru my hubbys phone last night he has a sidekick so I use it for the net sometimes. Well I came across a couple of textes to his friend asking him "where the hoes at" and :Let me holla at one of them" and "send me a pic". Plus he has numbers with no names under the call log that he talks to for like 5-10 mins at a time, but the numbers aren't saved.
We just had a baby 7 weeks ago and personally I can't deal with cheating I think its the most degrading thing someone can do to another person.
His response: Its not like that I didn't even talk to them, etc.
He went to work last night and came home and tried to make up and as his wife I kinda gave in. But I lost all trust in him, and dont want my little boy to grow up like his dad. I told him I dont want to break up our family we worked so hard to have but right now I can't even look at him with out crying. Any advice??He says he hasn't cheated it was all talk. But isn't talking cheating too....HELP!!!!
2007-12-27 05:47:16 · 15 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's not exactly cheating, but it could lead to that...Especially if these are attractive, single women.
But the fact is, you're his wife. He shouldn't be talking to anyone that you don't know, at least. It's very disrespectful. You have to put your foot down, though! If he's unwilling to do these things to keep the marriage going well, then he obviously just doesn't care.
Marriage means sacrificing, loving, and respecting one another. Let him know that this behavior is unacceptable, because it makes him look untrustworthy. If he blows it off and it continues, then you may want to kick the guy to the curb.
If he won't respect you, then who will? Remember, it's not all about his happiness. Don't bend over backwards and ignore warning signs just because of what you've "built" with him.
2007-12-27 05:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is coming from someone that has been cheated on. First you really dont know if he has cheated right now he is just talking. Now I dont believe talking to other women is cheating unless he is doing something other then talkin if you know what I mean. Men and women can be friends of the opposite sex. You really need to sit down and tell him how you feel and find out exactly what he is doing. My finance has many women friends he chats with online, as so do I. I have many male friends that I hang with, and when my fiance isnt working we all hang together. Its a big thing trust, there has to be a reason why talking with these women now has you not trusting him. My fiance whom soon will be my husband can chat all he wants, I trust him, as does he me. We communicate very well. We have both been hurt before, so we are alot older and wiser. We know what it is like and I believe neither of us will do that to each other. So please before you totally throw in the towel, talk it out. Listen, it might all be harmless, you know he might have been asking another women things that he can do to help you. But then I am old fart what would I know.lol.. good luck.. throwing away your childs father that quickly makes me wonder if you are truely in love with him. Because you do not have all the info.
2007-12-27 06:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by CountryHarleyGirl 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on your new son! I'm sorry you are having to deal with this right now. But, it is not uncommon for problems to crop up duing the pregnancy or newborn period in a marriage.
I don't know if you husband and you have any other children. Maybe yall are both old hands at the parenting game. But, if you are both new to it; I would like to suggest to you that becoming a dad is a pretty scary experience for a man. Often when men are scared they do things that make them feel better. Flirting with other women or having affairs are not at all uncommon.
It is very difficult to go your entire adult life without talking to or even flirting with the opposite sex occassionally. So if things were just talk; I would let it drop. Obviously actually starting a sexual relationship with another woman is a different issue. Do not make the mistake of assuming that flirting equates sex though.
I know he picked a terrible time to do something like this. You need all of his love and support right now. And you are right; you don't want his son to grow up thinking that marriage vows are things to take very lightly. But, you also do not want him to grow up thinking that women are untrusting and suspicious of men.
Your job as a parent is to model good adult behavior to your son. That means, you will be showing your son how to work through problems. All relationships have problems - everyone is going to have disagreements and misunderstandings. Being marriaged doesn't mean you'll never fall down or sin. It doesn't mean you will never think another man is cute or another woman is sexy. It doesn't mean that your partner will always make good decisions. But being married means that you both agree that your marriage, and your children are more important than anything else, and worth working on.
2007-12-27 06:14:35 · answer #3 · answered by krinkn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confront him now. While he may have not cheated on you yet, he is certainly on the road to do so. Some people would even call this cheating, but I figure that people who think about starting a fire, but don't do so, cannot be considered arsonists. Same holds true here. Regardless, you need to find out what is up and why he's doing what he's doing. Absolutely insist that he stops with the external female relationships.
2007-12-27 06:02:16 · answer #4 · answered by Bad Brad 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is not the MOST degrading thing that can be done to a person.
But...that aside it appears that you've married a male that can screw but you haven't married a man.
Too bad. So he hasn't been unfaithful yet but he's on the road to it. Even if he says he isn't its a crock of crap. Laying the ground work for a murder isn't actually murder but you're guilty of planning it anyway, right?
Tell the little boy to grow up or you'll leave him ,find a real man and raise HIS kid like the man HE should have been. If that doesn't sit well with him tough sh*it. He laid the groundwork for it didn't he?
2007-12-27 05:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, I believe it is cheating.... I am dealing with a similar situation with my boyfriend of five years. I've recently found out he has been talking to another woman (she is married and has a daughter the same age as mine). He insists he is not having an affair, but my gut tells me differently. The hurt is a hurt I have never experienced before and would never wish on my worst enemy.... Please focus on you and your baby and tell him to either straighten up and be a dedicated father and husband or go figure things out for himself.... I hope that he comes to realize the true blessings he has right in front of him and that your family has many happy years ahead. Take care and good luck....
2007-12-27 06:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mickey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He says he hasn't cheated!?!? You need to learn the facts of life NOW:
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins all relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. I don't lie.
2007-12-27 06:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
lookup definition of a fantasy. that's in simple terms all interior the pinnacle/techniques. the actuality of a fantasy in no way measures as much as expectancies. regardless of floats your boat so some distance as what hobbies you, yet shop the definition of fantasy in techniques. could adult males try this? of direction, besides the shown fact that it may create alot of turmoil, destruction and doubtless an STD. Does that sound relaxing to you, if so, choose for it. Your relationship sounds dysfunctional, i'm sorry your interior the placement you're in. My guess is you relatively do no longer p.c. to have this take place, yet your vanity has long previous down the gutter with him no longer wanting you anymore, sell off him and flow directly to greener pastures.
2016-10-20 01:47:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so first off, i think you made up with him too fast. Shud of waited at least two days. Second, he needs to know how much he's hurt you and betrayed your trust. He also needs to delete all those numbers and promise to you that this wont happen again. Ask him how he'd feel if you started chatting to guys on the phone...
Gud luck and dont give in too easy!
2007-12-27 05:56:08 · answer #9 · answered by Lady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talking isnt cheating. disrespectful, but not cheated. talking is what leads to cheating. unfortunately since u did lose trust in him thats something that isnt gonna come back over night. that will take some time. just keep an eye out and the truth will eventually come out.
2007-12-27 05:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋