My g/f told me yesterday that she's pregnant. We've been dating for 5 years, I'm 27 and she's 31. We were being safe when we had sex, she was on the pill, but I guess it's not 100% effective.
I realize I'm old enough to be a father and I would def be responsible but I'm not at the point in my life right now where I want a kid to raise. I want to wait until I've a little further in my career. I love my g/f and I will support her but I'm not ready for a kid right now in any way!
She told me that she is def gonna keep it. I tried to talk to her about an abortion but she said that's out of the question.
Is there anything I can say, in a nice way of course, that would help convince her to see things my way?
thanx
2007-12-27 05:36:39 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you loved her you would respect her wishes.
2007-12-27 05:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by nathan 3 · 12⤊ 0⤋
No, highly unlikely. Your feelings may change once the baby arrives. They have a way of getting to the most unprepared parents. I had been married 2 years and enjoyed being able to come and go as I pleased with out what I thought of as the burden of children. I was not ready for a child either at age 25. My husband wanted a baby badly so I went off the pill and left it in God's hands. I got pregnant immediately. I was less than thrilled! However when that tiny preemie little girl was born all my parent instincts took over and I never regretted having her. It surprised me that I had what it takes to be a good parent even though I was sure I didn't. Good luck. Everything happens for a reason. You may be surprised when you figure out years later why you became a father when you did.
2007-12-27 05:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by catehokte1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our life plans don't always turn out the way we want sometimes. You say you love your g/f & will "support" her then you should support her decision not to have an abortion. It sounds as though you're bailing out on her when she needs you the most & that's not right. It's a little late now, but if you were so dead set against having children now, you should have used a condom, to be on the safe side, because obviously, the pill failed. Maybe your best bet, is to move on because if you stay, you may never bond with your baby. That baby will grow up knowing that you didn't want him/her. Do the right thing if you do move on, & that is to be there for your g/f when the baby is born & not forget you financial obligations. This is really sad situation.
2007-12-27 05:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hun but it's her choice and come on be for real you really have no reason not to want a kid you're 27, have a job and you been together for 5yrs. i think you'll a little scared of something else cause you sound crazy saying you dont want this baby. But by chance if you are scared about the job think of it this way, no one is ever ready for a baby but some how people learn to adapt and so will you. and have you ever thought of her feels she's 31yr old she's not old but she's not young either and you want to still have enough strength for baby and you'll need that for at least 10 to 15 yrs you dont want to be old with your kids not saying that bad but you have a chance now suck it up be a man and get ready for the baby cause your wife anit changeing her mind and i dont blame her plus the fact it will mostly come back on her haveing this baby not saying you wont help but the mom has to deal with most of the problems. so i hope you think about this and figure out what is your real problem cause i really dont think it's that. good luck be one of the good fathers there's not to many these days.
2007-12-27 05:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by DeDe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I think that is the worst thing to do. You need to support her decisions and just except the fact that you will have a baby in 9 months. Now if you look at it positive and focus on the good it is not the bad. Abortion is exceptional to me if both people agree and are def not able to provide for the baby, it is not a form of birth control. You guys can make it work! So make the best out of it and support, comfort and love your girlfriend because she will need it all very much!
2007-12-27 05:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Her body her choice sorry:) If you dont like it im sure she will ba perfectly happy raising the baby on her own. She is probably getting to the point where she is tired of waiting. I mean come on 5 years? we were together 4 years before we had our first and my bf wasnt happy at first cause he never wanted kids, now he says he wouldnt change it for the world. By the way we are on number 3. All this with a man who never wanted kids. I say you should just step up to the plate and be the best daddy you can be!
2007-12-27 05:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by mommy of 3 boys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to persuade her to get an abortion? Do you not realize that your own flesh and blood is growing inside of her at this very moment?? That child, whether you're ready for it or not IS there and should be precious to you either way.
If she says she wants to keep it, she's going to keep it. You have no say in what happens. The first time you see your child's heart beating and it moving around and the first time you hear it say "dada," you will regret ever thinking of such a thing. Sorry if someone doesn't like what I have to say, but I'm right...and abortion is murder.
By the way, for that guy down there - I am anti-abortion and I DO NOT believe the death penalty is right and I certainly don't think that what's going on over in Iraq is right! Get your sh!t straight before opening your mouth to say something next time, because I guarantee most of the women (and men) that answered this question that are pro-life feel the same way I do.
2007-12-27 05:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by Momma Jette 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I dont think that there would be any words to make her understand. You have been with her for five years, why dont you ask her to marry you and be a family man. Your career will advance whether there is a baby involved or not. You just have to learn how to maintain the two things without losing it.
Your girlfriend seems nice and you seem to love her, work it out and stop pressuring her, or you will lose them both. Take from someone who was scared the first time. This will make you love even more, both mother and child. You will think, how you ever lived without. No one is ever ready, even when they think they are.
2007-12-27 06:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by sweets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can say and there's nothing you should say either. This is her choice, not yours. Although you are the father it's her body and ultimately her decision. The only decision you can make is whether you want to step up and be a man and take care of her and your child, or leave. You're career is always going to be there, you will always have a job here or a job there, but you only have this one chance to have this child. Don't pressure her to do something she doesn't want to do or she will resent you and you're relationship will probably crumble. You need to support her decision. You tell her what your opinion is but you don't try to CONVINCE her to get an abortion. Speak your peace and let her make up her mind.
2007-12-27 05:46:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You really can't. The final decision is hers to make, not yours. Although it should be a joint decision- it isn't.
So...while it's still early in the pregnancy- try to get used to the idea that you'll be a daddy in a few months.
Start saving and preparing for parenthood. Whether you planned for it or not- everytime you have sex you take that risk, that's just the way life goes.
And remember, God wouldn't give you any more than you can handle (but I'm sure you wish he didn't trust you so much)
2007-12-27 05:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
its not your place to push an abortion on her. if your not careful you will find yourself alone and paying child support. she is 31 years old she dosent have much longer to have children anyway. in another few years shed be a high risk pregnancy, if she could even get pregnant. if i was her id punch you in the face and leave you. you need to think of her aswell, not just yourself. you seem more afraid to live up to this more than your just not ready for kids. live up to your actions and be a man. now is a good a time as any to be a father. if your not ready at 27 then you will never be ready. you want to be 50 years old with a teenager who can beat you up? im sure.
2007-12-27 05:45:27 · answer #11 · answered by AnGeL.SlayeR 4 · 8⤊ 0⤋