REPOST: He has an addiction problem, it has affected the house for 5 years, lost everything 3 times, lost my company, lost my home, and almost lost my salvation dealing with it. Children are out of control, he is never home, we have moved 12 times since 2002. He wanted me to stay home with the children, I have no where to go, no money. My credit is shot now and pregnant again. I am very attractive, had it going on when he met me now I have no friends, no job and 6 children, got my looks, thats it. whats the problem?
2007-12-27 04:58:01 · 9 answers · asked by mom3x2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
His is not abusive, and his addiction does not come into the home, thats why he stays away!
2007-12-27 05:28:32 · update #1
sometimes it seems no matter what you do ,think or try that nothing is ever goin to get better.so you stay in the same situation waiting and waiting for the person you love to realize how bad they are hurting you and the kids but they never do or will.some people are so selfish they become blind to the fact that they are dragging the world dwn with them.while others are telling you its yer fault,and in some ways it is,love is a powerful trap,that keeps you hoping and praying the person will change.im a single father of 3 great kids,i was caught in almost the exact same situation,lost it all,but i never gave up hope that i could pull myself out and save myself and kids from a shitty life that just kept repeating over and over.shes noe gone and while times are tuff at least im the one i hold responsible for everything that goes on in our lives.good luck to you,if youd like to talk more put out another ? and ill respond 4u,but dont give up,yer kids need YOU!
2007-12-27 05:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is you are in denial.
Look back at what you wrote and ask yourself what you would tell someone else if they wrote that.
Accept the reality that your husband, for whatever reason, is a loser who is never, ever, ever, ever going to change.
I don't know if the 6 children includes the one you are going to have, but either way, it sounds like at least three or four more children than your situation should include.
Obviously you now have how ever many children there are and you have to deal with that, but obviously the biggest child you have is your husband, and he's the only one you can get rid of.....so DO IT!!
Lost everything 3 times...moved 12 times in 5 years, what exactly are you waiting for?
Have mercy on yourself and your children....being on your own, even with all these kids will be better than staying with this man. If nothing else you'll start gaining back some self-respect.
2007-12-27 05:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by nevit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the problem. I don't mean this in a mean or flippant manner. Why in the world would you stay and have 6 kids with someone who is an addict?! You may have issues you need to deal with and want to ignore them but you need to take care of and keep your kids safe at all costs. There is plenty of agencies for social services. Open the phone book and make a call and take the first step to turning your life around and providing safety for your kids. Your lucky no one has reported you to Child Protective Care and that you still have your kids. Now get busy!!
2007-12-27 05:15:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem is you are enabling him to continue. First, communication is the key to any lasting relationship. Talk to him, get him into rehab. If violence is involved, get out now. Take the kids, get to a shelter and get help. If he is using drugs in the home, you need to get out and get those kids away from the danger. He is not being a husband and it is not a good relationship. It's time for you to get out. Actually, you should have insisted 5 years ago that he straighten out, or just plain get out. And you need to stop bringing more kids into the equation if you can't afford to care for them properly You need to get some strength in your backbone and do what you already know is the right thing. You're just afraid to do it. I came from a similar background, my Father was like the guy your married too. But he was also extremely violent towards my mom and myself. She was too weak to do the right thing, and remained with him until it was almost too late. I suffered terribly then, and have residual problems to this day. But that's another story. Now, she is 72 and has been alone for 20 years because he just plain wore her down to nothing. If you love those kids, get him straight or get him out. If you can't take care of those kids, get them placed into good homes, and get yourself on your own two feet. In your community there are programs for him, and programs for you and those kids. Programs to provide safe shelter, food and medicines, programs to provide you with job training so that you can earn a living and regain your pride and independence. Contact social services, health and welfare for help. Also, I might even suggest that you contact law enforcement and have him arrested when he has the drugs on hm or is under the influence. That way he gets time in jail to dry out, and the court can order him into treatment programs. I'm surprised that someone hasn't reported the situation and those kids haven't been taken away yet. Don't wait for someone to get hurt badly, or for the cops to raid your home and take those kids away from you. It's up to you to take the first step. That's the hardest one, after that, it gets easier.
Good luck
2007-12-27 05:21:46 · answer #4 · answered by randy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm probable interior the comparable boat as your husband. I artwork far off from homestead for a pair of month and when I come homestead the spouse's ordinary does not exchange plenty. I pitch in whilst she asks. yet maximum adult males sense like this: "constructive is advantageous raising childrens in a house that I pay the loan in. constructive is advantageous driving interior the motor vehicle that I look after. constructive is advantageous no longer having to devour interior the lifeless of nighttime. etc,etc,..."
2016-10-09 06:06:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you need to figure out if the marriage is worth saving. Your husband has an addiction and it sounds like he is unwilling to help himself. You cannot provide any help to someone who is not going to accept it. You are going to have to remove him from the picture and become the back bone of the family. Your kids are out of control because they are hurting. This is their way of dealing with the situation, they may be acting out to get attention from you that is usually focused on your husband. My advice to you is to get yourself and your children out of the situation. I am sure that there are shelters for women who are in your situation to go. There are non profit organizations set up to deal with people in similar situations to you. Just remember to pray and trust in Him. I'll be praying for you.
2007-12-27 05:14:12 · answer #6 · answered by Tory S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let him control you... you need to do something with ur life.. and looks are not the only thing you have u r better than that...
2007-12-27 05:12:26 · answer #7 · answered by Promise 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the problem if you continual to let him pull you down.
2007-12-27 05:03:21 · answer #8 · answered by Flowers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go see a counsellor you need proper help and be brave its going to be hard
2007-12-27 05:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by ...... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋