To stay at home with baby or work and use daycare?

Question

Should I stay home after the baby is born or work another year or so to pay off debt then stay home?
Together we earn around $75k per year. We have alot of debt (mortgage $1450, credit cards, his car, utilities, etc) plus we don't spend our money very wisely and can't seem to stick to a budget. I'd like to stay home with the baby after it's born, but his employer doesn't offer health insurance, which would mean paying for a "private" health insurance plan for all of us. We got a quote for $1000 per month from Blue Cross for that. What are your thoughts stay home immediately or work to pay off debt and then quit? Please, if your going to be rude, just don't answer. If you don't have anything constructive to say, don't say anything at all.

Answer 1

I think you should go back to work. You said that you and your husband are not great at sticking to a budget. With all the expenses you have to pay, it might be the best idea for you to have two incomes. I know staying at home is ideal for any new mom, but it might not be the best idea for you. And the quote you got from BC/BS is crazily expensive to pay without having two incomes. You could consider staying at home for the first 5 months of your baby's life, then returning to work. I'm not sure if this would work for you, but around this time is when you can start introducing solid food so you wouldn't have to pump as much milk for the baby.

Answer 2

If your job offers insurance, how about hubby staying home? You need to do the math to figure out if daycare is going to cost as much as someone's job. If it's close, then the person with the better job (salary+benefits) should go back to work, and the other person could stay home. We have chosen this route since daycare 5 days a week is really expensive by us, and would eat an entire salary, so what's the point of working to pay daycare so you can work...
You also save money on commuting, lunches out, etc.
The home-working parent can always get a weekend job if things are tight, and you're still saving on daycare.

As far as the debt, I doubt you'd get it paid off even if you both continued working. If you couldn't get it paid before the baby, why would it be easier after?
You've said that you can't follow a budget sooo... Generally people's lifestyle expands to fill their income...
Perhaps if someone was home monitoring spending as part of a stay at home job, it would be easier to track.

That said, it does suck to be the one going back to work while my husband gets to see our little guy all day, but it also means I can put $$ in his college account.

Answer 3

The decision is all yours. I would have loved to stay at home with my little one, but then I would go crazy wanting someone to talk to! Also we looked at our budget and it would just be insane to stay at home. We live in Austin and it's not too expensive, but we would have to move to a unsafe neighborhood to make ends meet. Luckily though we don't have to pay for daycare. My mom has offered to watch her while she goes to work. Good thing they allow her to do that! If you and your husband decide that you will need to go back to work then try working at home, there are lots of companies looking for people to admin/clerical or taking surveys over the phone. Or you could find a job where you can take your child with you. Once they hit a certain age you won't be able to keep them there. But if you choose to be a stay at home mom then great! Just make sure that you don't spend so much and have your husband hide some money somewhere so when you guys are really in a bind ya'll can have a hunt for the money. LOL we did that when I was pregnant and it was always nice to find an extra 50 to go out to eat. I don't know, you seem to have a stable head on your shoulders. Just talk to your husband and you two should be able to come up with the right solution. GOOD LUCK & Congrats

Answer 4

Well, I think its time to ask yourself some hard questions. Like "If we COULD stick to a budget, would hubby's income be enough for bills and debt reduction?" "Are we willing to go without some luxuries?" "Are we willing to spread out our debt for a few more years?" Any decision you make is at the expense of something else. As a stay at home mom, my job may not be bringing in money, but it is my job to make sure as little of it is going out as possible. My husband is self-employed so we have private insurance for ourselves and our two kids. Our premiums are only $163 per month and it covers preventative care and well baby checks (Blue Shield). While you're still pregnant you should practice living on just hubby's income and put all of your salary into savings. That will give you a bit of a cushion after the baby comes, plus its a chance to prove to yourselves whether or not you can make ends meet.

Answer 5

I think go back to work - to put the baby in daycare, it has to be at least 6 weeks old. That way , you can get your debt paid down - But, make a budget and stick to it - if you stick to this budget, and get the bills paid down, then, just think of it as.. then you can stay home if you choose. but, never know, you might just want to keep working. $1000 a month for bc/bs is alot of money - if you are getting insurance already - I would just continue working for awhile longer.

Answer 6

My mom has worked in daycare for over 23 years. I grew up in day care and I'm perfectly fine. Some people think daycare is completely wrong, but if it's what you have to do, then find a good daycare, and know that you baby will be fine. Most daycares won't let you being in your baby until it is at least 6-8 weeks old. If you think you will be stable with you not working, then i say go for it. It would great for you to be able to stay home and bond. But if you do not think you can stay home and be stable, then I say day care will be great too. It will help the child grow up around others. And once you get stable, then maybe you can keep your child at home :). Just go around the area you are looking into getting childcare for and see which one is more highly praised and which one you like most. Hope this helps :)!

Answer 7

Honestly, if I could afford to stay home- where I you, I would relearn how to spend and save and do it in a heartbeat. For me it is not an option- I am making more money than my husband and my benefits at work are cheaper. So I work. *sigh*

For you, it is relatively easy to relearn how to spend money. We did it and if we can, anyone can. Check out:
Consumer Credit Counseling
Look in your area. They were very helpful in reteaching us to spend, how to spend, and how to save. Google it and see where it finds you- they are legit, they are free, and they are really helpful. We cleared out debt and cleaned up our credit in 8 years- it would have taken 30 without them. As well, we learned to live without credit cards and will never use them again.

Run the numbers- you may find that you spend more on daycare than you would if you stayed home with the baby.

I do believe the quote Blue Cross gave you- that is who we have and they are not cheap. Both kids are on mine because it's cheaper than my husbands- but his is not nearly as comprehensive- so there's give and take.

This is a question you and your husband must answer. Sit down. Come up with a plan. Figure in all expenses- including daycare if you work. Make an informed decision thereafter.

Answer 8

If you want to stay home bad enough you both will spend money wisely and stick to a budget.

...that being said...I was in this same dilemma. I work for our health insurance...that is the ONLY reason I work. He is a private contractor, so I carry the benefits. Watch your back with private health insurance. BC/BS is a great one (it's what I have) but there is a lot of hidden stuff in those plans. Examine it wisely. I looked into the same thing (quoted about 1,200/mo for us) and realized there is a deductable that renews every year, there is not coverage for many things (like maternity!) should you add to the family. Of course this will differ from plan to plan, but you really need to look into it.

I was an emotional WRECK going back to work. I went back when she was 8 weeks and now she is 15. I wanted to quit so bad...I felt like a failed parent for leaving her. I cried the whole 1st week. Then the clouds parted and I realized...#1 there wasn't stress $ wise because we still had our 2 incomes... #2 I knew that I had great health coverage for our family ...#3 she LIKES daycare. She grins the minute I drop her off, she is ahead developmentally, and is becoming quite social! She even has a "friend" who is close in age and they babble together. It's a small daycare (only 3) but it's great. To me work is like a mini-vacation now. I needed time to regroup...I like to work...I LOVE to come home to her.

one more thing...quitting my job would have only added stress to my marriage and family. Everyone's situation is different. You will know what is right.

Tracy----LOL!! I was dying for adult convo too! I knew entirely too much about paternity tests on Maury by the time I went back to work...

Answer 9

First of all, you admit that you guys don't stick to a budget very well. Staying home would take a lot of discipline and sticking to a budget as you would be down to one income instead of two.

Second, if you would chose to stay home, you would need to obtain "private" health insurance. I would urge you to explore BCBS further, I use to have it privately and paid around $332/mo. for 3 people. This did not include maternity coverage, however.

Could you try living on just one income for awhile (and put yours in the bank) and see if it would work financially? You'd always have your money in the bank if it didn't work out and you'd still have your job.

Good luck.

Answer 10

"we don't spend our money wisely"
well can you learn to anyway whether you go back to work or not?
I am not trying to be rude about this, I am not telling you to work/not work but I am saying learn how to budget and save it will save you a lot of problems in the future. I don't need all the things you do, I live on less and I have what I want. I don't work, my husband does. We do good, because we don't waste money, we don't buy things we can't afford. Learning how to handle money is a valuable lesson, I promise you can live well on a budget.
Also the quote for insurance sounds obscene have you talked to other companies?
I would suggest taking a class on managing money, it will help you a ton and you will definately benefit from it/