Im not quite sure why this happens but everytime my boyfriend and I get with his family they make a comment about his friends being married and with kidsand imply that why aren't we married yet. and how much they want to be grandparents!! Now I am 20 years old and he is 27, we have been dating for 2 years. I am not looking to get married right now I would love to but not til after I finish school. My question is what is the big deal about him and I not being married with his family. We don't live with each other, We don't have any kids . Could someone help me understand why? I don't know if I should ever say anything. All I can ever do is just sit there and smile because I feel that is all I really can do cuz it isn't my family its his.
2007-12-27 04:45:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and no we are not having pre martial sex either
2007-12-27 05:33:22 · update #1
I don't think that there is much that you can do. Honestly, this happens to a lot of people. When several of my friends got married (about age 22), people at our church started making the same kind of snide little comments. People just do that.
I think that his parents just want grandkids. If it is really bothering you -- have your BF talk to his parents about it and tell them it isn't appropriate.
I personally don't understand it either. You would think that his parents would want you guys to wait until you are completely ready and sure that it is the right thing. But even though I don't understand it, I know that it happens a lot. Hang in there!
2007-12-27 05:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it's called grandparent fever and it sounds as if your BF's parents have caught it.....it's normal, Hon.....
...and I understand it, being the 54 year old mother of four, ages 32, 28,22, and 21 year old.....singles.
I don't pressure my kids altho I'm really looking forward to being a Nana...got all my baking & crocheting skills primed & ready to go....I jokingly once told them all if I'm not a Nana by the time I turn 60, I'll just borrow somebody's kid from time to time...or get another cat...they laugh at me......
You could next time politely state that at 20 years of age you feel too young to have kids....you want to do more maturing and you need to finish school so you can be in a position to help support a family properly if a situation calls for it,heaven forbid should your husband become ill or temporarily loose employment...it happens.....you can always say your own parents have asked you to wait until you've finished school and you are honoring their request as a good daughter should.....
Consider it a compliment, dear...they could be going on and on about how great all his old flames look.........Good Luck.
2007-12-27 13:08:06 · answer #2 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lil' Sister,
Not only would i let by boy friend know how i feel about this situation i would let them know as well. You don't have to be nasty about it. Just tell them you are too young right now and you want to finish school first. Please don't get married until you are ready. This reminds me of me soooo much. My husbands parents are the real religious type. They figured since we were being intimate we should get married. So they convinced us that is was the right thing to do even though we wanted to wait until we finished school to do so. (i was 19 when i got married). they wanted this so bad they paid for the wedding!!! needless to say we never finished school, we are staying with my grandmother, and we have a six month old child(I never ever ever regret that he is my pride and joy). I said all of that to say this...live your life...have fun while you are young!!!do all the things you think you want to do(within reason!!)and just have fun...later for all that commitment stuff.....you are too young to be tied down!!! marriage is a wonderful thing just be ready for it because if you really want it to work you must work hard at it!!!
2007-12-27 13:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by vonsmommie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The big deal is that you and their son are laying together committing fornication! If your good enough to lay with why are you not good enough to marry????!!! Additionally, some parents are just old fashion about things and that is not to say they are wrong just entitled to their opinions. He is 27 years old and yall have been together for 2 years but it does not take a lifetime to know if you want to marry someone or not. If your not ready then you can express yourself respectfully to his parents and let them know your young and your not ready for marriage and a baby right now you would like to finish school if that is ok with them. Good Luck
2007-12-27 13:28:19 · answer #4 · answered by Flyyasever 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's what you get for dating a guy 7yrs older then you. His parents want a grandkid and a daughter in-law. Basically they are saying you can be part of the family we accept you.
I'm with you finish school and then have a kids and marriage if that is what you and he wants. Do not let his parents make you have a kid they are not the ones who will be raising it you and your man will be.
My mom wanted one but I didn't and neither did my wife.
So I went one step further for my mom to just drop the whole subject I got snipped.
Kids are great if you know you want to take care of something for the rest of your life. Children are a lifelong adventure if something goes wrong you can't divorce the kid.
One other thing you may not know 70% of all divorces and break-ups have children involved.
2007-12-27 12:59:21 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe they like you alot and are expressing their hopes and wishes.
But you're right. You are far too young to be married. Get done with school, get a job and become an independent woman with your own bank account. Enjoy life before settling down for the long haul.
You're on the right path. Stick to it.
Good luck
2007-12-27 12:59:06 · answer #6 · answered by teritaur 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's nothing in the grand scheme of things. Don't worry so much about it. And finish school.
2007-12-27 13:19:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they are just anxious to be grandparents. You are handling it appropriately. You can express how you feel to your boyfriend, but I would not say anything to his family.
2007-12-27 12:52:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋