Proving a father unfit for child custody cases.?

Question

My husbad and I are going through child custody battle for our 4 children. Unfortunately, I left them with him temporary to relocate in another state and plan on returning for them. He now wants to fight for custody. The thing is he is a state trooper and he is very irresponsible and I feel unfit to continue to have custody of our children. When he comes home he leaves his gun out all over the place (kitchen counter, kitchen table, top of the frig, and even in the middle of the bahtroom floor!). Our son once was found showing it off to a friend. He also leaves the house wide open, the doors unlocked, the windows up, the curtains wide open, all the lights on at night when everyone is asleep in bed while he leaves the house to go run errors and thinks it's ok. I am the one primarily involved in their lives, school work and activities. Since I left grades have dropped to D's and F's from A's & B's. Is this enough to get custody even though he has them now and will try to claim abandonment

Answer 1

gonna be hard since you abandoned your children.......

Answer 2

You definitely need to take pictures of the gun left out in the wide open for proof- that is not safe at all, especially with young children around.
It's also good to have someone (a mutual friend of both) to vouch for you saying the father is unfit to take care of the children.
Make sure you have a good lawyer because he will bring up the abandonment and what not in court- you should have known he would if you left to another state without the children. Why did you leave the children with him in the first place if you saw him as an unfit father? That doesn't make much sense and will go against you in court.

Answer 3

You have to remember, the four year old child to him and to the mom and not to you. Even though you have concerns for the child you have to remember that you are not his parent, no matter how much love and attention that you have given to him. By law, the mom and dad have the legal authority to move the child wherever they see fit unless custody is granted to you by the courts. What you can do is report any type of harm that you have seen either the mom or dad to your local Child Protection Services. They will determine if either parent is unfit for the child and can place the child in a loving, caring home. Since you are on state assistance in California you have a child support case open as well. Ask your child support worker or Benefits worker to see if you can claim good cause against him. There are several criteria that your child support or benefits case has to fall in to claim good cause (rape, violence, risk of harm to the individual/child, etc) however if you case does fall into that category you may not have to establish a paternity order. Let's say that California actually obtains an order for paternity and support against dad. He will have rights o custody. He will be able to take you to court and want at least partial custody once he is named as the father by court order. At the time he asks for custody, you can petition the courts asking the courts not to grant him any physical custody based on dad's past history. If you provide proof (copies of police reports, etc) to the courts at that time the courts more than likely will not grant him physical custody, however any custody issues must be dealt with in court.

Answer 4

Well first things first- the gun stuff HAS TO STOP before one of your children is killed. My husband is a fireman, but was a police officer before that. He still keeps his police certifications up and the firedepartment has him working with the arson unit (or whatever its called- it's confusing to me) so he still carries the weapon on occasion. He keeps his gun in a locked cabinet or in its case locked in the glovebox in his truck. I would LOSE MY MIND if it was ever to be left out. He should be keeping the ammo out of it when he is not on shift and locked up in a seperate cabinet from the gun with the keys hidden in an out of reach place. I also have 4 children. What I would do is call DHR and let them know, then they will pop into the home and if its out he will be in BIG trouble. You should be able to get the kids back real easy if that goes to court. Abandonment will probally come up, however if you have used your time away wisely to aquire a home, good job, ect. and not spent too much time lagging around before you go to get them at least for visits it should not be a problem. The court can not hold that against you- how can you get situated while having 4 kids in tow. I can barely get out of the house to go to work sometimes, let alone all that. So keep trying and start dialing the child services, you will be devistated for life if anyone gets killed over it.

Answer 5

Actually everything you mentioned sort of seemed like things that irked you. Unfit means drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. The fact that you even left your kids behind already puts him before you. I just finished taking a family law class and they specifically said, "If you want custody of your kids, DO NOT LEAVE THEM BEHIND." and you did. Why would you even relocate to another state, if you don't have a judges permission yet to take your kids across state border? What you need to do is hire an attorney because you're going to need one. He will probably get sole custody if you don't. You messed up by leaving them behind but if your kids are old enough (like 12-on) a judge can ask them where they want to be. That would probably be the only advantage.

Answer 6

Allbeit those things are wrong and in the case of the gun twisted you will need to bring more and proof of all of it. The court system is all about proof and it will be your word againt his and since he is in the law enforcement field they will likley take him as the "honest" one. Plus he has you leaving the kid so that may not look good on your part but ya never know.

Just get a lawyer and be open and honest about it and move forward from there.

Answer 7

You need to get an attorney ASAP. Your ex-husband has three things going for him: (1) He's a peace officer which gives him huge credibility in many states; and (2) you abandoned the children and left them with him. He became the default guardian because you legally abandoned the children (regardless of what your intent was); (3) he has a regular job with good benefits which will financially provide for the children.

As I stated, you need an attorney and need to be prepared for an uphill battle because of these factors.

Answer 8

claim lady you admitted here you left them to go find a house you were not worried about there safety then were you i don't think you deserve them middle of bath room floor i hope they laugh you right out of the court room come on be fore real he was doing all this doing the marriage and it was OK since divorce you are knit picking none of this stuff is true are will stick i would love to hear his story about you might make a good movie may be some thing Tyler perry can use ha ha ha got me to laughing

Answer 9

Sorry lady but you have no ground......and you shot yourself in the foot when you let the children go with him...now you can not use the excuse he's unfit...if he was really unfit you would not have left the kids go with him in the first place.

Depending on how old the children are, they will decide themselves where they want to live.

Answer 10

If you have been gone long enough for their grades to fall it probably IS abondonment. I don't think he is unfit I think YOU ARE!!! You can't just decide "ok, now I want to be a mom again" it doesn't work that way and nothing NOTHING would ever cause me to leave my children behind not even for one day.

Answer 11

You are pathetic. If you left your kids. You didnt care about his guns laying around then. No one is going to believe your story. No one abandons their children unless they just dont give a crap. You need to move on. You will always get visitation. No judge is going to give you custody.