My daughter's father and I split when she was 1 yrs. old. He is very involved with my daughter. He recently married a very nice woman whome I like very much and so does my daughter. I know he is cheating on her but I don't know if it's my place to inform her. I don't want her to get hurt and I especially don't want my daughter to have to suffer through when she loses her step-mom that she is close too. I feel guilty knowing what he is doing and not saying anything....
2007-12-27 04:40:09 · 17 answers · asked by klynn598 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just feel so terrible because he did it to me and I really do think his new wife is a very nice woman. I hate to see him to it to her too. He is a scum bag!
2007-12-27 04:51:00 · update #1
No. It's not your concern. Most women know when this is happening and unless she asks you don't offer info. Maybe she knows and hopes no one else does, maybe she is OK with it, maybe she is also having an affair, maybe she doesn't know how to handle it and by you forcing her to deal with it before she's ready etc, etc, etc. If anything discuss this with your ex and how this will effect your daughter. I'm afraid any other action MIGHT bring unreversible damage to all relationships involved.
2007-12-27 04:56:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
And wouldn't this be a great way to get back at your ex? You're so dishonest, it's laughable. What your ex does is none of your business. Neither has anyone appointed you to be the bearer of bad news. If you are the parent you're supposed to be, your daughter will be fine--whether her step mother stays or leaves. And what makes you think the woman would leave, anyway? Maybe she would forgive her husband and the marriage would continue. Maybe she wouldn't believe you, or maybe she'd tell you to mind your own business. Then what would you do? Stop using your daughter, as an excuse to cause trouble for these people. And stop plotting. It's not nice!
2007-12-27 13:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything to her unless you believe that she will walk out the door on him or make him change. If you get involved and tell her as a friend that he is cheating on her and she stays with him, your relationship with her will be officially over and your daughter will get the ****-end of the stick. And your ex will make everyone turn on you. But if you really want to tell her, tell her anonymously. Call her blocked or something and just give her a little bit of info. But the best bet is to mind your own business.
2007-12-27 12:47:19 · answer #3 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go with your gut feeling. Are you close to the "ex"'s new wife? If so, do what you can to be gentle and have some sort of proof. I had a friend who showed me when my ex had another woman. I needed to see for myself when I saw this painful experience, I knew that I had a friend who could back me up. The proof will help and not injure your relationships. Good luck for yourself as well.
2007-12-27 13:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by TryingtoSurvive 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not your place. Just focus on how he treats your daughter and leave him to his own affairs, no pun intended. You'll just be stuck in the middle. If she decides to stay with him or leave for that matter, you'll forever have a huge rift in your comraderie with your ex and that will affect your daughter.
2007-12-27 12:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by Cesaria Barbarossa 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Although I understand your point of view, I don't think you should get involved or spill the beans. It's their marriage, and perhaps they have some sort of agreement already.
If she decides to do something about it, then it's her choice.
Stay out of it.
2007-12-27 15:46:11 · answer #6 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have a saying here in italy - fra moglie e marito non mettere ditto, which literally means 'between man and wife, dont lay a finger' (in other words .... DONT GET INVOLVED in what does not concern you). What would be the consequences of you telling your ex's wife? She would be devastated, and their relationship would be ruined. Who would it benefit?
2007-12-27 12:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one!
I know personally I would want to know but you have to have evidence to back it up.
Also your daughter could stay in touch with her but would she believe you?
You have to have evidence.
2007-12-27 13:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what your heart says do you think he is realy bad guy if yes and still if you remember that he loved you once than leave it on god and just mind about your daughter only..
2007-12-27 12:53:42 · answer #9 · answered by Rex 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stay out of it. She'll either figure it out on her own of someone else will tell her. Better the two of you have an untarnished relationship and continue to get along. He's a jerk, she'll figure it out. But stay out of it. For both your sakes.
2007-12-27 12:48:48 · answer #10 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋