is it possible to be just friends with your husband once the seperation/divorce is final?? He is still living at the house in seprate rooms because of the holidays and us having a 4 yr old together we didn't want to ruin it for her. Is it possible to be friends with someone you can'teven stand to look at??
2007-12-27 04:36:39 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am friends with my 2 ex-husbands...but they don't live under my roof.
2007-12-27 04:39:56 · answer #1 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think anyone but you can answer this one but yourslef. Some anwers you can get here externaly but sorry this one's got to be answered by you.
Maybe this will help though. Do I think it can be done? Yes. Do I think it should be done? Persnaly No way in hell. They say that you should not burn bridges but really whoever "they" are "they" are wrong. I can only see you being used, degraded and weakened by this arrangement. Your thoughts I know right now I can guess are with your child but if you look at the bigger picture, if financialy possible establish a new home away from your x and leave friends out of the equasion at least for now. Often times when someone ends a relationship the "lets just be friends" is used to normalize a certrain non fighting level of communication while permmiting a level of tolerance of infidelity and lingering emotional dependance. For me I won't be this person. Contact is still nessisary but with your child involved remember the best way for your child to not experience your bad feelings about your former husband is treat the child with love and the former spouce with cold civility to not prolong any fighting. This will make custody issues (there will be many) and your own interpersonal ones easier to deal with. Just remember to not let either of you use the child in ANY way and you can get thru this and once you both are stableized and you both have moved on, you can then be friends again. All I am saying is don't ever miss a chance to step back and look at what's REALLY going on in such an emotion charged space and protect yourself proactivly.
2007-12-27 04:59:46 · answer #2 · answered by Carl B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear that you can't even stand to look at the father of your young child.
I'm very sorry you split up; because your child's life will be much more stressful and difficult without both of its parents to support and love it needs. There is no way the two of you, now separated, can really give your child a real family experience. It is a shame you gave up before you child even had a chance to experience a real family.
The best thing you can do for your child now is to make the best relationship you can with your ex. Being friends is probably the best thing you could do.
2007-12-27 06:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by krinkn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can be friends with someone you cant stand to look at but you can still talk to each other in a civil manner if you decide to carry on living together. What are your other options? Could he move out or you move out? In the long run its better you go your separate ways otherwise how will you move on? In time you would obviously want to have a relationship with another man and far as your daughter goes whats worse- you splitting up, living separately but when dad comes over you get on well and everything is nice and civil between you. OR you carry on living together, possibly argue a lot because you cannot stand him and daughter starts to pick up on all the tension between you and it actually does the opposite of what you intended.
2007-12-27 04:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by Hannah R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys are getting a divorce but yet you still live in the same house?
ok i know your'e trying to do whats best for your daughter to not ruin anything for her but thats a big mistake right there. Eventually you both are going to want to move on, maybe date again. and it may cause some major problems having your ex-husband living in the house.
and that might even confuse your daughter if her mommy and daddy live together, but in seperate rooms, and they don't love eachother.
But to answer your question, i guess you could be friends with him again. It will most likely take time. But i'm sure things will work out.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-27 04:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by Stephiie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is possible for some people but it sounds like you are going to have to let some time go by before you can do it. Once he moves out and you guys have established separate lives, then it is easier to be friends because there is often not as much resentment as there is when things are still fresh. Just keep the peace and be polite for the sake of your child but I would save words like "friends" for a time in the future.
2007-12-27 04:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What should I do?? Husband wants to be just friends??
2014-12-19 01:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that would be the ideal. Of course it's best for your child if you can be friends, because really, he is NEVER going to be out of your life. You have a child together, you MUST co-parent, so yeah... if you can find a way to be friends... that is what is best for your child. It will take time I believe, but start by being civil and Never using your child as a weapon or withholding your child from dad. Start by at least acting polite and the rest will eventually come That is what is best for your daughter
2007-12-27 04:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as there has been no abuse or cheating, why can't you stay friends. I hope you were both the best of friends at some point in your life. It might suck right now, but it wont always be that way. You have a kid together, so remember that you will always be intertwined.
2007-12-27 04:43:24 · answer #9 · answered by Scott M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if its that bad its time to seperate houses rather than rooms, and yes I beileve after some time you can become friends. You have to have some kind of a relationship anyways so might as well be a civil one. You dont have to hang out but just be nice to each other
2007-12-27 04:42:42 · answer #10 · answered by so alone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is entirely up to you both. If you can see him without getting fearful or angry and he the same towards you then of course you can. The problem with many divorced couples is that they harbor ill feelings towards each other and actually get physicall ill in each others presence.
If you can be friends then do it for your childs sake.
Yoda out
2007-12-27 04:42:12 · answer #11 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋