she doesnt want it and she has a 1 year old she already neglects and mistreats she tells the baby she hates her and smacks her ,she says that theres a way by signing our names on the birth certificate and us being there within 3 days we could just take the baby and shell never try to reclaim it and that the birth certificate is legal or what not it seems too easy to be true she lives in california we live in arizona ,we cant have babies and are dying for one,shes going to give it up or abandon it at a fire station or church if we dont take it, but we dont know whats the process .and if its wise to adopt a baby form a sibling,also if we should tell the baby its adopted and when.
2007-12-27 04:17:39 · 12 answers · asked by silverreznor 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
the father ran off to mexico after the first one and came back and "raped" her so she hates this one too and he wants nothing to do with it and disapeared hes an illegal and wont come back .also her doctor is the one that adviced her to put our names as legal guardians on the cerificate something to do with the no quiestion asked 3 day abandoning law in california.i really do want to take the one year old as well and she wants to giver her to us but i know the process is even more dificult right?
2007-12-27 04:36:39 · update #1
Please call for legal advise to make sure. It can be an anonymous call, what if you don't do this right? You could loose the child later!!!
This would apply for the older child. She must write a notarized & witnessed letter appointing you as the permanent legal (not temporary) guardian. Without documentation either she, family or social services or another family member could take the baby from you..... What about the father??? He has to sign it over too. Once you get the letter go directly to the lawyer and open adoption proceedings. It could take a year or so, they have to run it in the paper and go in front of the Judge etc. YOu could get temporary custody in a court of law till then, if you are acceptable. Get started right away. Other than that you could have her deemed an unfit mother but doing that you will have all sorts of people involved from the get go. Social services will step in, it's not guaranteed you will get the baby, any other family could stop up like anyone on the fathers side or grand parents, aunt's, uncles etc. The judge and child services would have to examine each & every one of you to see the most acceptable fit home for the child. It could even but put in the system and put in a foster home, that would be terrible!!! f she put your husband as the father on the birth certificate, it could also be contested by other family members and you'd still have to go to court, have paternity test, etc. Get the letter and go to the lawyer so no one can ever, ever take the Baby from you!!!!! It can be very sticky situation with your sister or the baby's father in the future, if she or he one day straightens up and decides they want the baby back, they could take it if you haven't gotten all your legal papers and court decisions! You can decide later if & when you want to tell the child about the mother and why things happened like they did. But wait till it's older and can comprehend. Someone might blurt it out someday and then it could cause Chaos! It would be better if it came from you!
2007-12-27 04:20:04 · answer #1 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You can't control your sister, but she definitely needs to either think about a more permanent form of birth control, like an IUD, Norplant or best of all tubal ligation.
Having said that, you need a lawyer to make the adoption legal. Don't trust that birth certificate nonsence she is talking. First of all, the hospital knows who they admit and who had the baby. They would NEVER do what she is talking about. Get a lawyer.
If you can find it in your heart, you should also take the one year old. She is not too old to be nurtured and healed from the abuse she has suffered. In any case, please don't forget about that child. At the very least, get CPS involved for that baby.
Good luck to you. GET A LAWYER!
2007-12-27 04:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should adopt the baby, its an excellent thing to do.
What she says is true, in part. She will need to sign papers from the state releasing the child to your custody, and then you in turn take those papers to your state and file the adoption.
You can call a lawyer, or her local child welfare office and have them do the paper work for you. You want a closed adoption, without any rights for the mother. If you have to you can get a restraining order on her to keep her out of your lives.
It really is a simple process :)
Congradulations.
Have you considered the 1 year old as well? It would be wonderful to keep them together, and to get the baby out of a neglectful and abusive situation.
2007-12-27 04:33:55 · answer #3 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You need to get an attorney. Your sister isn't the only legal guardian of the baby; the father is as well. Your sister could give up legal custody and the father could still come after you.
In California, there is a six month cooling off period where the parents can change their minds about adoption. Your sister can assign you as the legal guardians for that time and then you can file for adoption. To protect yourselves, do all you can to contact the father as well.
Good luck.
2007-12-27 04:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by servinggodalone 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ya'll need to contact a lawyer and go about it through the court system. I don't think yall can just sign the birth certificate and be done with it. I would take it into legal matters just in case she would try and get the baby back.
2007-12-27 04:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You need a lawyer- you CANNOT just sign your name on the baby's birth certificate- get a lawyer and have the proceedings beging immediately. You will want her to grant you full-custody after the baby is born.
While you are at it, do the same for the 1 year old- this is awful!
2007-12-27 04:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by NY_Attitude 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I adopted my sisters baby, but since I am 20 and not 21 I could not legally do it. My husband (Fiance at the time) signed the birth certicate as the father, and my sister legally gave up her rights to him, so when I turned 21 I legally adopted her. It's going around the system, but it was easier than going through SS and everything. I would let the child know he/she is adopted, and let them know they are better off with you. I know what your going through, and being you sister it will be hard as it was for me, but you cannot let her see the child for the first couple of years. its for the best. Hope I helped!
2007-12-27 04:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by sbRjordan 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If this is what you really want get a lawyer. You need legal papers so that this doesn't some day backfire on you! I don't think it's even legal to just put your names on the birth certificate.
2007-12-27 04:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by rivergirl939 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Contact a lawyer ASAP and find out what you need to do, you dont want to mess up the legal process! Good Luck!
2007-12-27 04:20:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous Mommy 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
of course its wise wouldnt you guys rather it go to you being its own flesh and blood then to strangers who might mistreat the baby. just call a lawyer or gogle this question and i think you should tell the baby shes adopted
2007-12-27 04:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by love 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋