do you stay?

Question

Do stay with my spouse? I have been involved with someone from work for quite some time now. I am in love with this person they are also in love with me and mean everything to me.Never have I felt this way about anyone before. I have 2 kids the other person is recently divorced & has 2 children also I have cheated on my spouse several times in the past but no feelings nothing this is so different . I can not get this person out of my head. I do not want to.

Answer 1

You do not want to what? Leave the comforts of your husband and children? Look like a bad person? Hurt their feelings?

These have already been set into motion with your carelessness. I would suggest that if you want to keep the family then you need to make a clean break from person at work. Find a new job. You also need to do something to fix your marriage. Get individual counseling and couples counseling. If you can't commit to this and your family, then help them out by leaving. Let them have time where you don't constantly hurt them. If you are going to keep cheating eventually you will get caught, and as the children get older they will start to notice.

Answer 2

This is an area where(if you go to church, whether you do or not is not for me to judge). God would not want some 1 to divorce another unless it was on the grounds of adultery. Has it been worth putting yourself thru the turmoil of not opening yourseelf up to the person you have loved in the 1st place? What has gone thru your head when you said I do to this person? Did you love him/her? I have no answers for you but if you were to stay w/the person you are married to now, try to work things out for both of your sakes. Financially it would be better, but you also have to remember that marriage is about give & take no 1 person should do more then the other. You will probably not feel very well once you seperate from the other. I have heard it many times that they wish they never seperated because they suddenly may have felt ashamed or something after the fact. Trying to love another won"t work anyway. Loving 1 person is better then trying to love more, it becomes a cankor & a sore. Biblically I would not leave I would try the hardest I have tried @ anything to save what little you may have & restore it & you will end up loving the 1 your w/now even more. I hope this helps. I goto church & I have heard of people who are going thru these kinds of things there to. Its sad to know even supposed Christian couple get caught up w/others when they know its against God's commandment(thou shalt not commit adultery).

Answer 3

I have cheated and been cheated on in my marriage and all I can tell you is that its bad. No matter how much you rationalize it there really is no excuse for it. That being said I have to tell you that the person you are really hurting is you. You will find that you don't trust people and most of all you don't trust yourself but if you work really hard you will be able to get over it and move past the issues you will have from this.

You never mention how you feel about your spouse...that is what you really need to consider. Are you still in love with your spouse...were you ever in love with your spouse...do you want to work things out with your spouse? If you answer no to any one of those questions then you have your answer.

You need to come clean wth your spouse, tell them what is going on and file for divorce...or come clean and figure out if you can salvage your marriage...either way you need to do it now and not wait.

Also your children are a consideration but not as far as if you stay or not. Children are smart...they can sense what it going on and if you think staying in your marriage because of the children is best you are wrong...it will hurt them more in the end to have lived in a dysfunctional household then to have come from a broken family.

Answer 4

You don't want to stay? Maybe you should not have started to get this close to others, then this wouldn't have happened. I am wondering, if you divorce and start with someone new, will new problams arise? I think in time it will. Why give up what you have, the only reason you want this new person is because you CAN'T, and it's something new! I think unless your being abused in your relationship, you need to learn how to work on marriage, spark something in that relationship, don't just walk away, you saw something in hikm at one point or you never would have been married and had 2 children.

I think people forget, how to work on relationships, so down the road when you see another man who you have allowed yourself to become close to, you will just walk away again? Go for another new person? This is not right, you rekindle the fire with the person your now married to, and quit allowing this closeness with others, don't be vulnerable to others. This person knew you were married and still WENT FOR IT??? Kinda bad I think.

Or WAIT, is this another person of the same sex, like maybe you found out your gay? Definately don't be hurting a spouse like that, if you find the same sex attractive, they need to know, thats just WRONG!

Answer 5

It sounds like your "spouse" would be better off without you. I can't think of anything worse than staying with someone I didn't know was cheating on me and had no respect for me, as you so obviously don't. i hope you realize that neither of these relationships will last. It's simply the laws of love and decency.
Consider what you are about to do to your children. I hope the sex was worth it, cause you are about to not get any for a long time.
I'll pray for you, and your children. They are going to be the victims here for a long time.

Answer 6

The Grass Isn't Allways greener on the Other Side Honey! You guys might be caught in the Thrill of the Cheat! But *** soon as thats over It can either Get Better Or Worst

Answer 7

I would say that it is probably best that you leave your spouse but I won't take your relationship with this other person any further than it has already gone for a good year or two after the divorce is final...

Answer 8

you need to leave your spouse. It is not fair to her especially if you REALLY believe this other relationship is going somewhere. Also you need to make sure this new person is as serious as you are. Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule when talking about love? I just hope you are not giving up your 80% to only be stuck with 20%. good luck and god bless.

Answer 9

You owe your wife a divorce, and hopefully lots of child support when the divorce is finalized. It's scumbags like you that give men a bad reputation. You should have never married your wife if you didn't love her enough to make you feel "this way"!

Answer 10

Quite simply,you already have left him mentally and emotionally,do your spouse a favor and leave.Just remember you cheated on your spouse SEVERAL times you will cheat in your new relationship too.