We just got married. He took the virginity of 600 young women. He would go to clubs, libraries, colleges and parks and then bring home a girl. Sometimes he would get the girl drunk.He spoke the lingo and he is very handsome.and we just got married 3 months ago. He had about 2000 young women. I can give you circumstances, dates, names. I read a book about sociopathy and he fits the bill. Do I have to try harder ? What can I expect ? How do I love such a man? What are sociopaths like ? He has already threatened leaving after 2 serious arguments. How can I change such a man ? He was badly sexually abused as a child. How should I act ? Yes, I found this out before we married and I married him because I thought no one else would.
2007-12-27 04:05:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oops, I meant to send this to the psychology section.
2007-12-27 04:07:02 · update #1
That was probably 4 women, 500 times each....
No one can change another person. Marrying someone because you don't think you can find someone better, or trying to help someone "because they can't find someone to marry them", I don't see the marriage lasting very long.
I think you would benefit from counseling.
2007-12-27 04:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? How can you change him? I am no physcologist, but I can tell you that only he can change himself you have no power over his decision to be a sex addict or not, just like an alcoholic or drug addict. They have to want to change. You are making a huge mistake if you ask me. This man is out of your league and you are only wasting time, tears and feelings on someone who has not earned the right to take them. I really am tired of people blaming their decisions in life on something that happened to them as a child, that is an excuse and Benjamin Franklin once said, " a man who is good at excuses is never good for anything else." We all experienced bad things in our lives as children, some maybe worse than others, but as adults we are responsible for our own actions. That my dear is the biggest cop out in the world. Stop being blinded by what you think is love for this man and take off the blinders. If you read this question and it was from someone else what would your response be? Be honest.
Yoda out
2007-12-27 12:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by Yoda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has a serious problem and sounds to me he was/is a person who likes to manipulate the weak minded. I would suggest a marriage/family counselor with experience in psychological behaviors. One thing to keep in mind is that you cannot change a person. What we can do is help the person see their faults and encourage them to try to work better in their relationships. What you need to do is be supportive of him and don't make him angry. Listen to him; from what you stated it sounds like he's had a horrible childhood. Embrace him with everything that you have and let him know that you are there for him and that you understand what he is going through and everything will be okay. Even though that bad stuff happened to him long ago, he is still hurting inside and will continue to hurt until he can let it go and forgive. It will be hard, but you all can get through this.
2007-12-27 12:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by angenico5920 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure how you love a predator. I have also not heard of any predators actually being rehabilitated. Usually they continue the behavior for life.
You can expect him to repeat his previous acts and to show all of the signs of predatory behavior. You cannot ever change him. There is no possible way that you can fix or change him.
For him to get help he needs to be in therapy and psychotherapy for the rest of his life. He will never truly overcome the child abuse that he experienced.
You married a psychopath out of pitty? Are you insane? Do you really think giving up your life is going to help him? You are making a huge mistake!!! You cannot fix another human being. It has never worked before and it will not work now.
Take care,
Troy
2007-12-27 12:39:34 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He has a serious sex addiction and on top of that he thinks that no one will ever love him. He uses sex as an escape method to get out of his reality and to live in another.
You have chosen to marry him therefore you have chosen to take on his history as well. You need to get him to seek therapy ASAP. Tell him he is no longer allowed to sleep with other woman as you are his wife. If he has threatened to leave it may be for the best and find a guy that doesn't have all this baggage.
He needs professional help NOW!
Tell him he gets therapy or marriage is over.
2007-12-27 12:19:35 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, what a bad decision on your part. How could you think you can change someone else. Got news for you, you can't. He must have a disease by now. Did you make him get tested before you married him? Forget about changing him. Get some counseling for yourself you have control issues.
2007-12-27 12:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW--600 virgins, something that hasn't happened to me. 2000 young women, again something that hasn't happened to me. It doesn't sound like you have to try harder. But good luck in the psychology section, I'd love to see what you can do.
2007-12-27 12:18:26 · answer #7 · answered by Scott M 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I made that same mistake when i was 18 and got divoced at 22 and now i am with a great man!!! There are many more fish in the sea. NEVER SELL YOUR SELF SHORT. that is what i learned.
2007-12-27 12:13:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1 He needs to admit he has a problem and seek professional help you can not help him.
#2 You should go to counseling as if you really think or only married him because no one else would you have some self esteem issues.
2007-12-27 12:12:01 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has been with thousands women and chooses to stay or marry one person. Good luck and guess we will be hear from you in the future.
2007-12-27 12:18:20 · answer #10 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋