After the break up with the guy I am in love with I got a rebound guy to make him jealous. The guy was cute, but treated me bad. My ex had told me he wanted to focus on college and that he loved me but we couldnt be together. When I got my rebound guy he was angry (hey, he sent me off). I am now married to and have a baby with the rebound guy. I am really in love with my ex and we still talk. Ive asked my husband for a divorce on many occasions but he wont give me one because of child support and he says "Im kidding".I just dont want to be with him. How can he come between two people like this> Why wont he divorce me? I think its selfish to do this, make me miserable with him when I am always wanting someone else.
2007-12-27 04:00:24 · 26 answers · asked by Retired Punk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's abusive and neglectful to me.
2007-12-27 04:16:41 · update #1
my husband beats me, and is mean to our child sometimes.
2007-12-27 04:31:20 · update #2
You may have to be prepared to raise your child without his support. You are not in a good marriage, and it's not fair to you, your husband, or your child to continue in this marriage. Divorce seems the only answer.
2007-12-27 04:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by Elliott N 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First~ in most states you can file for divorce without the consent of the other party. It is contested, and it cost alot more but you can get it done. If the reason for him not wanting to divorce you is child support then sit down and negotiate that with him. Don't take less than you have to have but make him think he is getting out on the better end. Now, as for him being selfish I disagree to some of that. You are being a slight bit selfish. I understand how it feels to be in love with someone else. Just take some time to think about things. If you leave your husband for the ex will the ex be able to accept the total package(you and your child). Be sure not to through away a good thing, The grass is not always greener on the other side. You have to do what makes you happy, the only thing is you have a child now and the baby needs to come first.
2007-12-27 04:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get real. You are going to ruin your childs family and leave a man you decided to marry, for whatever reason, so that you can chase what you think is love? Are you serious? What makes you think you are even qualified to know what you feel or think? The last time you made a decision it was to marry a guy on the rebound and then of all things have a child with him.
If a divorce is what you want then just go and file for one. Why do you need his approval. But before you do anything I would beg you to stop and think for awhile about what you will be doing to the lives of everyone around you. Fro once in your life stop being selfish and impetuous. Be mature and take time to consider how you will destroy those around you all for a "feeling" you have.
I don't mean to sound angry, I am not, but I will tell you that you only get one chance at this life and so far you are not making wise decisions, so you really should stop and think before you act.
Yoda out
2007-12-27 04:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by Yoda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this, but you played a game with the rebound guy and brought an innocent child into your game playing. You created the problem and you can't keep jumping back and forth from one to the other. It seems you should of grew up some before bringing a new life into your circle of games. If you really loved your X, you should of given him some space and waited. Your new husband doesn't seem to be selfish to me, he's only trying to hold on to his new family. What would happen if you were with your X? When you get mad at him, call your husband all of the time and want to go back to him. Grow up, in the end your child will be the one to suffer.
2007-12-27 04:39:49 · answer #4 · answered by alabamalady813 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, I think you have problems since you got a rebound guy to make your ex jealous. As for your ex, he's just as screwed up as you are. You both need help.
Your rebound guy probably loves you and it's not fair to him either. It's sad especially since you have a child involved. You should try to make this marriage work if you wanted to be married to him in the first place. Why have a child and do all this? It's not fair to your husband or your ex. You really should think about what it is you really want before more people are hurt.
2007-12-27 04:16:16 · answer #5 · answered by fran c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've created this situation for yourself. Why would you jump at the next guy as a rebound? You should've never allowed yourself to be in this situation. If he doesn't give you a divorce then you proceed don't wait on him. Next time don't allow yourself to feel that you NEED someone because the person you were with no longer wants to be with you or you don't want to be with him.
2007-12-27 04:12:08 · answer #6 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I would be going through the same thing right now but my husband went to jail for robbing two banks so I was able to be free with no problem. But you have to figure what would benefit you because I thought I would never see my ex again and here are getting ready to get married like we should have done 6 years ago. So think about what you really want and he can't keep you from getting a divorce it may be harder because he want sign but there is ways around that.
2007-12-27 04:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to a mediator before you go to divorce court.
But let me say that you're acting like a selfish 15 year old. What's wrong with you? You're a mother now and a wife. I hope you're not planning on taking the baby on your chase after the guy "you're in love with" ?
Leave the baby with the dad - he'll probably provide the baby a more stable home than you. Go after your dream man but don't be surprised if neither wants you after this idiotic pursuit.
2007-12-27 04:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by DG 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Solve the whole issue. File for the divorce, leave the child with your husband. You pay child support and get weekend visitations. Go be with the man of your dreams. In 5 years come back here and let us know how this ex of yours isn't really all you thought he'd be.
2007-12-27 04:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must forget your old bf. You vowed to stay with your husband, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until death do you part. You should put your focus and love on your husband and child. You are the selfish one who married for the wrong reasons and then had a child too. If you divorce you husband and go back to your bf you will be committing adultery and you will cause your bf to commit adultery too.
If you want a divorce, your husband can't stop you from it. He would be better off without you, you have been dishonest from the start, but your child will suffer the most if you break up the family.
2007-12-27 04:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋