What do you do to put your marriage back together after something tore it apart. You have both forgiven each other and are trying to move forward, but how. Going to church has, and communication is already taking place, but there still seems to be something messing, what do you do?
2007-12-27 02:44:51 · 16 answers · asked by april j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You already know that it takes work to achieve a successful relationship. And seeking the guidance from a spiritual source shows wisdom. But don't forget to be realistic in your expectations of each other.
Both of you are imperfect and prone to sin. There's also the mental and emotional makeup and upbringing that's different. It takes time to work out problems. The Bible has practical advice for your marriage and whatever problems you're both going thru.
2007-12-27 03:22:02 · answer #1 · answered by Arlene B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time, patience, understanding, caring and kindness.....those are the tools you need to rebuild what is missing....trust....If something tore you apart then obviously there were hurt feelings involved and even though you have forgiven eachother it will take time for wounds to heal and for you to trust eachother again. No matter how large or small the damage it takes time, patience, understanding, caring and kindness to rebuild the trust that was once there. Be patient and understanding of your spouse, kind and caring when things are not what they should be and allow plenty of time to heal. Momma_Bear
2007-12-27 03:21:56 · answer #2 · answered by the_morris_bears 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why ask advice, and then leave out info folks need to provide some suggestions? If the problem is he leaves the toilet seat up and you put too much pepper on his eggs, it's one thing. If you guys have had affairs or tried to hire hit men, it's a different kind of problem. When trust is lost due to ANY type of betrayal, rebuilding that trust is difficult or impossible. The only way it can be rebuilt is to show by actions that you are worthy of trust- over the long term. YEARS and years. And that's only IF it's even possible to regain trust.
2007-12-27 04:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I once read of this program, something about the Love Bank. Where you get certain credits in your love account for things that you do to show your love for each other. If memory serves me, it might be what you are looking for. It basically credits you for acting like you are in love, with the person you really want to be in love with. My theory is, (in spite of what a lot of people say), you CAN control love. And you can channel your feelings and emotions in a direction you want them to go, and they will go that way. I think this is why when people cheat, they fall out of love with their significant other, and into love with the other person. Because they are channeling that effort toward the other person, taking from the marriage. It could be that the loving feeling is missing, and to feel like you are in love, you have to do the things that lovers do. Hold hands, massages, say I love you...things like that. You get credits in the 'Love Bank' for these things, which gives you a tangible way to see your progress. I am sure a counselor or clergy can help you find out about it. Or maybe even an on line search. Good luck.
2007-12-27 02:56:37 · answer #4 · answered by xp2c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lack of trust can pull apart even the best of marriages. I'm sure that is what is lacking right now. You are doing all the steps to recover! Just have faith that you are doing what you can to fix this. Eventually the trust will begin to bloom again. Good for you two for pulling through this thing together!
2007-12-27 02:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by *Almost ready* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like was said before, your missing trust and it will take a long time for it to come back into the relationship
2007-12-27 02:59:04 · answer #6 · answered by exodus64_1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, Take a vacation together. If not, then you guyz can take a class together, work out or something. Do new activities together so you two can make new memories. Go out on more dates. Be more fun, go to the beach or just bowling or something, spice it up by having some kinky sex ..lol ..surprise him!
2007-12-27 02:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by TeeBee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to tell from this description but it sounds like trust is what is missing. Above all else it may take TIME to sort out your feelings and re-establish the security you used to feel together.
Good luck..
2007-12-27 02:52:07 · answer #8 · answered by sleepydad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time togheter re-discovering each other and creating beautiful memories that will, in time, replace the bitter taste that the situation left behind. Focus on the good qualities of the relationship and spend as much time as you possibly can with each other......
2007-12-27 03:08:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe what you lost was your innocence. Life is like that - just like our bodies get marked up a bit by the bumps in the road, so does our psyche. Just keep moving forward, and it will heal.
2007-12-27 02:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋