we have a six year old daughter together and she resents him right now and is yet to meet him. he has been absent from her life for the las three years. he is now married and has two kids and a wife. everytime we talk we argue. sometimes right in front of our daughter. i want to file for full custody of her. do you think i should?
2007-12-27 01:56:10 · 9 answers · asked by Hmmmmmm 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes I think you should because if she allows him into her heart and he bails again (as he has proven to do so easily) it could cause her life long damage now that she is older. It isn't worth the risk. I know you feel like "the bad guy" if you do this but trust me, when she is old enough to handle it she can meet him and decide for herself what kind of man he is. Probably by then he will have run out on his other two kids also.
2007-12-27 02:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
you already have "full custody" as the child is living with you. Your really describing, my interpretation if your statement, is denial of visitation. Whether you like it or not this wont happen unless you can prove in a court of law is is abusing the child either mentally or physically. Him being gone for 3 years albeit sad is no reason to keep him out of the child's life. We all certainly don't know the whole story here but there may be a good reason for him being gone so long, but regardless he is here now and is stepping up and should be given a change to right a wrong.
Good luck with all this
2007-12-27 02:54:10 · answer #2 · answered by Slick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure she resents him or have you told her so many negative things that she does because of you...? Regardless, what's the point of the fights? I think you are in a hard place right now. Personally, if my wife left us for 3 years, I would have filed for full-custody the 1st year you knew he was out of the picture, not 3 or 4 years later down the line and then decide to do it. I think it's too late and you will only be making yourself look like the 'revenge' kind of person. I say ride it out and see how he treats her and how involved he is with your daughter. If you see progress, then try to work things out - is there a court ordered visitation schedule or is it just up in the air, whenever he feels like it or you feel like it? There is a lot of homework to do here. Good luck.
2007-12-27 02:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by Me 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes you should file for full custody, since he has been absent so long it won't be hard to prove that he has abandoned your daughter. You want to do what is best for your child and if every encounter with him is negative it's not healthy for you or your daughter. Move on don't waste anymore time trying to make it work. He has to make up in his mind that he wants to be a father to this child. Show her all the love she deserves from her mom and surround her with loving people and she will be just fine. I have done the same thing for my kids so this isn't just advice I have experience this myself.
2007-12-27 02:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you should remember that having her father in her life is important. She is 6, she is not to be making decisions on whether or not she spends time with her dad. Let go of your anger toward him and do the adult thing. Full custody is for parents who's ex's are total and complete losers and would do nothing but bring pain and misery to the child.
2007-12-27 02:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If she resents him well she knows what she wants, my sons are grown now and I went through a similar thing with both of their fathers. And the both acted the same way, and my sons did not want to see them at early ages in their lives, and they are 8yrs apart. Children are very smart these days and tend to know more than we give them credit for, even when we try to shield from the truth at hand. So do what you believe is right for her. Because when you git down to it she is what matters right now, and when she gits older she will be able to make her own dcisions.
2007-12-27 02:14:59 · answer #6 · answered by The Fresh One 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
it doesnt matter if he deserves to see her or not
or if you dont want him to see her or not
its what is in the best intrest for your child
and i believe its a good thing to have both parents
playing a part in a growing childs life,even if you are seperated now and dont really get along together
its not about you 2
2007-12-27 02:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by infobod2nd 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No offense but your description sounds rather one sided. You may want to consider putting yourself into his shoes for a while before looking to jump the gun on anything.
2007-12-27 02:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Um, to go along w/ ur first question, yes u should. He doesn't deserve to have her after blowing her off!
2007-12-27 02:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋