loan to brother in law?

Question

ok here's the thing i am wondering what the best way to go about getting a loan paid back. me and my husband lent them 700 dollars back in march so far we've gotten 100 dollars we told them to pay every other month 100 dollars and gave them a yr to pay it. they have 2 other people to pay also and every time we ask there's an excuse such as oh had to pay bills or something comes up. it's irritating b/c they still go out and do things or buy unneccessary things but can't pay anyone back. i didn't want to but my husband really did so i decided to cave knowing there was a good chance we'd fight with hiim for it his own parents said they didn't have money which is false. my husband won't ask cause he doesn't want to fight over 600 dollars but to me it's alot and we may not need it to pay bills but moving soon that would help us out. what should i do?

ok i wrote loan on the bottom of the check with the date to pay it by. at the time we had the money but still expected it back. my point is that it is the principle and the point of his word that has been a lie. it seems he has no respect of concern for his brother or me by not making an effort even a 10 dollar check would show and effort we had to beg for the 100. i'm done with him i will never ever agree to a loan again and i will never feel pity when they are in debt they shouldn't have had a child when they couldn't afford her and should go to night college and work instead of quitting to go to school. i am so fed up i knew it was a horrible idea but i tried to see him as an honest person.

Answer 1

Never, ever, ever loan money to a relative - if money changes hands between relatives you might as well consider it a gift and NEVER expect to get paid back. All relatives are not this way, but the majority, for some reason, think they don't really have to repay a loan. If you persist in asking for payment, they will get mad, you will get mad, there will be a problem between all family members, cause they will all get involved and you will be made to look like the "bad guy". Sorry, but you need to just write it off - consider it a gift to them.

Answer 2

Tell him and his family Merry Christmas. For the next 20 years or so, give each memeber of your BIL's family a Christmas card that you are forgiving $10 of the loan for each card that you give. That is their Christmas present. If there are 4 people in the family, then it will take 15 years to pay off the remaining $600. Let your BIL explain to his wife and kids why he is a deadbeat.

Seriously, never loan a significant amount of money to anyone that you know. The limit is $10- $20. Also, never make a new loan without having the old loan repaid.

You may as well kiss the money that you lent him good-bye.

Answer 3

Here is the painful answer. Scratch the loan. But you will always be able to hold it over his head as to why you will never lend him money again. You paid the best price to know the character of a person. And don't chase him down for payment either. You have come this far and doing OK without the balance of the loan.
And don't ever cave in to the pressure if he ask for another loan with the promise of repayment for both loans. If he couldn't pay the first one, he definitely is not going to pay the second one. No way, no how.

Answer 4

I would have to agree with most folks here, that the money is gone. However; I would also confront him about it for a final time & let him know about it.

Something along the lines of: "It is apparent that you are not willing to make good on your word when I helped you out of your problem. I just want you to know that it is ok, I will forgive the loan you are unable to make small payments to. I will not ask for any of it back even though now my family is in need & could use our own money back. As you can certainly imagine, I will not have any extra dollars for the niceties that you still enjoy, so I will not be able to be of any help to anyone else in the family as I need to be able to provide for my family with every cent that comes into our home."

That way you guilt him into it & make a little dig at him all at the same time.

Either that, or: "look dead beat, I know your not going to make good on the loan, so forget about it & dont ever ask me to loan you squat again in life! Or we can talk to Judge Judy."

Answer 5

I have learned from experience that the best way to ruin a friendship weather it's family are not, is to loan money...Some people think that borrowing money from a friend is different from borrowing from a bank...The loan should be paid back in a timely matter. Ask them if you had borrowed money from them, would they expect you to pay them back? Some times it is not the "money" that is at stake, but rather the principle of honesty. I live by the simple rule, a persons' word is what gives him Integrity...

Answer 6

i agree, it's a lot of money. but you should never make a personal loan of money to someone if you want it paid back. especially family. when you loan them $$ you enable them to continue in their behavior pattern of being in debt. it's much better to let them get themselves out of their problem by getting an extra job or something--that way they hopefully learn what they need to do to keep themselves out of debt and from having to borrow money. you need to just accept the fact that they aren't going to pay you and move on. even though it's a lot of $$, it's still only money and not worth having a fight in the family over.

Answer 7

It's your husband's issue, since it's his brother (even if the money is both of yours) The next time your husband finds out you are short of money for any specific item, simply lovingly tell him to ask his brother for the money to buy it. After a few of these 'treatments', I'd venture your husband will get a bit more aggressive with his brother for repayment.

Answer 8

Sorry Hon but it is a hard lesson learned. Look at it this way, you don't have to loan the stiff any money ever again. You could take him to small claims court if you have any documentation but ever getting the money is kinda slim.

Answer 9

u've made a serious mistake by giving loan without signing any agreement in papers even though he's urs brother-in-law.this's the basic rule.now it's up to his conscience if he wants to pay u back the money.remember everything must be black n white with a witness the better.take care.

Answer 10

You should mind your business. Let your husband work it out with his brother. If you couldn't afford to lose that money you should never have lent it to your brother-in-law in the first place.