I am asking if you feel this is right. My friend went through a divorce.(His wife left him for another man) She gave up custody to him. They have 5 kids. He works & does everything a parent should do. The judge ruled that since she doesnt have a job her child support is $50 a month! He has been struggling for 2 years raising his children. He went back to court for more money or try to make her get a job & the judge rejected his plea. How can this be? If this were the other way around the man would be told get a job while his child support was backing up. Do you think this is fair??
2007-12-27 00:34:04 · 12 answers · asked by 2gadoo 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes she was a stay at home mom. Never really had a job to my knowledge.
2007-12-27 00:49:44 · update #1
No she is not remarried or has any other kids.
2007-12-27 00:52:25 · update #2
She lives with a bf, she does not work he supports her. He can't work any overtime due to the fact the state will take his daycare help away. The state pays so much to help him with daycare.
I just feel sorry for him, but at least his kids are being raised right.
2007-12-27 04:06:43 · update #3
Let me start off with saying - this woman is a piece of CRAP!!!
No mother gives up their kids!!!! NEVER!!!!
And the fact that she choses to not work to support them - bigger piece of CRAP!!!!
She had no business having 5 babies. It is sad for your friend and the kids.
I do not get child support! He works under the table to avoid paying - that is if he is actually working!!
I do not understand how the system really works and each area is different! But I know here, if I pressed the issue enough they would send him to jail.
Maybe your friend needs to press the issue enough to scare her into working.
Your friend needs to PUSH and PRESS in order to get results!!! The squeaky wheel gets the oil!!!!
(This situation is one of the reasons why I went and got two degrees. I never wanted to rely on someone. And if my marriage broke up - be without skills or a career. Lucky for me I do have a career and can support myself and my daughter without his support!!!)
(Go Trailblazers!!!)
2007-12-27 05:37:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Should" is an endlessly debatable question. In most states there is a formula that defines required contributions to the child's standard of living based on parent's income. (It gets complex - since assets, cash flow and other things also impact the case law and judge's or court's decision) Anyway, its not a question of "should"; it is a simple question of LAW. Usually, answer is yes. And btw, who is this "We all" you claim to speak for? Are you the "anointed one"? The way the courts look at it is if the parents were married both of their incomes would be partly going to support the child's life. THere is no reason why, if they're not married, that the child should suffer because of the lack of a marriage. If one parent is making 50 times what the other is, then it might not make much sense, but the money isn't going to the custodial parent it is going to the child's welfare. (as the court's look at it) He could even be considered neglegent for not getting support unless he is rich. Of course, custody can be contested and the court's in most states PRESUME the mother is to be the primary custodial parent. So much for fair and unbiased.
2016-04-11 02:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is ridiculous if you ask me. Your friend did not make those kids by himself and his ex should get off her lazy butt and get a job. I agree that if this was a man that a judge would have told him to get 2 jobs if needed and if he was behind, they would have tossed him in jail so that he would get the point that he has to support his kids. If I were your friend I would read up on the child support guidelines in his state and see what the guidlines really are for a non working parent that is supposed to be paying support and then go back to court again. 50.00 a month is nowhere near enough to support 5 kids.
2007-12-27 00:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Men are screwed in this country when it comes to custody and child support. The courts automatically assume that the children will be cared for better by the mothers. My boyfriend has 3 children who spend more time with him then their mother. He is required to pay $200 a week child support. His ex-wife works part time barely bringing in $700 a month and doesn't feel she should have to work any more than that. Her new husband does not work. Her utilities are constantly being cut off. Her husband went to jail for beating her but they got back together. When my boyfriend went to court he could not obtain full custody of his children. I don't feel it's fair that he is barely getting by and having to essentially support his household and theirs. It is not fair. Each parent should be required to work full time unless there is some reason they can not. Men are not valued as fathers in this country and it is apparent in the courts. You look at his situation alone where there is a father who not only can support his children financially but truly loves and cares for his children and he can't get custody over a woman who values her abusive husband more than her children. Something needs to be changed. Fathers need more rights!!!!
2007-12-27 00:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by lil_hem_n_va 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Actually this completely depends on the state you are in. In some states they cannot make the non custodial parent get a job. They can take their tax returns in order to paid the past support. However there are income guidelines that each state sets in order to determine what the other party can pay.
As to your question do i think this is right no i do not. I am in a similar situation with my child's other parent.
2007-12-27 00:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Kakuk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's nt right. if this was a man this guy would've gotten put in jail & called a deadbeat dad. but since its a woman she gets a free ride because "she's trying", "she needs help", or my favorite one "i'm going through some issues." she doesn't get put in jail. she doesn't pay the necessary child support or have it raised on u. that's crap. women say they want to be independant of a man but when it comes to child support & divorce they scream that they can't support themselves. it make me sick.
that's plain hypocrisy. women can't have it both ways. that's a very unfair double standard. men are getting screwed royally in child support & divorce. this is the exact reason why alot of men do not have kids at all & refuse to get married to women. she thinks just because she is a woman she can get a free ride, screw her. make her get a reality check.
the man should go down to the courthouse & get a different judge & demand that she pay support or go to jail. her reasons for nt paying are nt valid & she needs to take responsibility. also u need to take full custody of the kids & tell her she will no longer see her kids again until she starts paying support. don't let the b*tch take u down
she lives w/ her bf now & he supports her. bs this girl is getting like money up the *ss. she needs to get up & get a job. she sits on her but & allows her new bf to support her by choice. take her to court now dude.
2007-12-27 02:55:49 · answer #6 · answered by conan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Now he does not have much ground to stand on since she does not have a job support falls on him. When she does get a job he and re-visit the situation with the court.
Is it fair? You have to think what the situation would be like if they were still together. If one parent did not work it would fall on the other to support the family. From a legal standpoint is it fair ? Yes. What is not fair is that your friend got stuck with a woman that does not have her childrens best interest at heart.
2007-12-27 00:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by Islander 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This does not make sense to me because it has been my understanding that if a person does not have a job the Judge will set child support payment at minimum wage.
He can fight it and continually be frustrated or forgive it and let it go and have peace.
Remember peace of mind counts for a lot in life. I did not say it was right but sometimes forgiving a person for their unwillingness does more for you then trying to force someone to be willing. My personal experience.
2007-12-27 03:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So how does she support herself? If she has not remarried, does she live with someone?
Are you telling us she don't watch the kids during the day she just sits around and does house stuff?
Don't misunderstand me I know the law is lop sided I am just trying to understand the situation. The problem with this is if she has never had a job to speak of she is unskilled and wouldn't bring in much money, if any, to begin with. Now if she was a nurse or something and purposely sat around you could get her for her "potential" earnings.
2007-12-27 03:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by Slick 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nope, not fair at all! unless, she is disabled, does she have a disability??? if so, courts can do this... if she has a disability, she should be getting social security by now, or at least applied for it... and yes, he would get more support if she is approved for that...!
but, if she is not disabled, she should be based on minimum wage, even if she's not working...
unless, she is with someone else and has little kids by them, no, the courts can't make her work until they are in school all day...even then, they can't make her work...
good luck to this man... but, if she has no other kids, and no disability, this man needs to get a lawyer!
if she is married to another man, and he wishes she stay at home, I am not sure what a judge can do about that... again, get a lawyer...
2007-12-27 00:43:49 · answer #10 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋