Me and my girlfriend have been basically living together for our entire relationship of about 5 years. I am currently in school, and she recieved this great job opportunity in a city 3 hours away. I have been planning to propose to her. 2 weeks from our anniversary, when I had planned on proposing to her, she tells me that we need to take some time and not talk for a bit. Long story short... We have lived together for basically 5 years, 2 months of her being 3 hours away, we break up. NOW here is what is killing me. 2 months after we break up, I hear that she is already talking to someone! Ya, pretty F'ed up I know. The reason for us breaking up/taking time apart was so she could figure out what she wanted, and now she is already seeing someone! I talk to her and she tells me that things have just changed, and that she still misses me sometimes though. I love her with all of my heart and dont want to lose her. What do I do? Do you think it is too soon for her to be talking to people?
2007-12-26 23:10:52 · 10 answers · asked by rivers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The unfortunate answer to this question is that maybe she just didn't feel the same, and therefore has moved on sooner than expected.
While it's painful to come to terms with, you can't force someone to be with you if they've made up their minds to the contrary.
Maybe you can take this time to consolidate, spend more time with friends and then start to meet new people as you go - not with the intention of seeing them, but just seeing where it goes.
2007-12-26 23:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by Chesh 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Apparently there were needs that you were not fulfilling and she faced up to reality. Women seldom flush 5 years of their lives down the toilet for NO reason, I gather from your letter that she never cheated or had any serious issues, so there was something lacking and she went out to find it. You can try talking to her and express your feelings, but somehow I doubt that it is going to change her mind. Instead I would tell her that you truly care and if she wishes to call, talk or meet to let you know. Right now, she needs some space and you need to accept the fact that she may never come back. That's not to say an occassional phone call, or even some flowers on a special date won't help, BUT she is the one calling the shots. As for how soon someone should start seeing someone, there is nothing carved in stone saying you have to wait "X" number of months, days or years. If you truly love her, and she loves you, just give it some time, DON'T push, but be there for her when she needs you. Get on with your life and try to find out where you went wrong, so you don't make the same mistake again.
2007-12-26 23:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by canuck1950 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no problem with anyone going out with/talking to someone else 2 months after they split up with a b/f or g/f. I don't think that is really the issue though. The issue is that you still love her, and maybe are having a hard time accepting that the relationship might be over. Have you told her that you still love her? If so, that's really all you can do, but sadly for you, it seems that she is moving on.
Women don't normally ask for space in a relationship unless they are pretty much sure it's over. I'm sure she still cares for you a lot as a friend, but maybe it's time to try to accept that the relationship is over. It would be a good idea to see a councillor if you find it too hard to deal with. Break-ups can be very painful, and I really wish you the best. You will be okay, no matter how it turns out. If the relationship is over, it's a case of having to accept it and grieve for it, which is normal. Once you've done your grieving, you will be ready to move on and find another girl and live happily ever after.
Good luck. You will be fine.
2007-12-26 23:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone is different. People do change, for better or worse. For some people it takes years to get over someone while for others it takes a few months.
It sounds like she has moved on or at least she wants to move on. I think you need to talk to her and express your concerns/feelings etc. If she doesn't feel the same as you, you're just gonna have to move on.
Best of luck!
2007-12-26 23:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by laconversacion 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to have a good talk with her and see where each of you is truly at.
She wanted time to figure out what she wanted - okay you gaver her time, now ask her what she wants.
Before you ask, you have to figure out what you want too.
If she says Not you - what are your plans for yourself. If she says YOU are you ready to move beyond what just happened.
2007-12-27 00:21:41 · answer #5 · answered by sammy3256 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you waited to late to pop the question. She must have just gotten tired of waiting. At that point, she began to question her feelings for you. Go ahead and ask her, before you completely lose her. You really have nothing to lose at this point.
2007-12-26 23:17:49 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It happens man. The relationship just loses that spark and you both break up.
You just have to move on and meet another woman.
2007-12-26 23:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW. Uhh it has been 2 months.
Why don't you tell her how you REALLY feel.
That you dont want to loose her and that you want to marry her.
&& good luck.
2007-12-26 23:15:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow well keep your head high and wonder if shes the one
2007-12-26 23:14:08 · answer #9 · answered by HelpThisDude 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is what you do. Break up with her and move on. Do it or you regret. ^___^;
2007-12-26 23:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋