Joke naughty (have any to share)?

Question

On their wedding night, this young bride told her husband.

"Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex. And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex."
"Okay sweetheart," the groom replied. "Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink, that means I don't want sex. If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex. But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn't matter."

Answer 1

I have another, though it is not naughty:

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classified as a high-caliber employee, the type that cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

Regards,
Project Leader

KEEP READING...

Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following memo from the Project Leader:

Sorry, but that idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines for my assessment.

Regards,
Project Leader

Answer 2

young man was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often should you have it. His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time... and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year... maybe on your anniversary.
The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and Grandma now?"
His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked. "Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. And she yells, 'Fk You,' and I holler back, 'Fk You too.'"

Answer 3

nice.. i got one too

The couple had an exciting sex life. Whenever either one needed it, they came up with a code so that the kids wouldnt understand. The code was "washing machine".

So one day the hubby was horny, so he said "washing machine honey". She wasnt up to it, so she said sorry dear I have a headache.

after an hour or so, she was feeling bad, so she said "ok honey, washing machine".

So he said "no its alright baby, it was a small load so i did it by hand."

Answer 4

Another gud 1

Answer 5

i dont know if heard this or not but theres this kid he says mommy mommy can i take a shower with u she says ok the boy says mommy whats that up there she said headlight her boobs meaning and he said ok then he says mommy whats that down there grass ok so nexttime the boy tells his dad can i take a shower with u he says yes so he asked his dad whats that down there he says its a snack his thing anyways so he asked his parents can i sleep with u guys they say yes and he tells his mom mommy mommy turn on your headlights theres a snack in the grass

Answer 6

HA! Basically don't matter what your hair says.. I AM THE MAN!!

Answer 7

Hahaha!!! Oldie, but a Goodie! LOL.

Answer 8

lol great joke have a star

Answer 9

cool. love your jokes

Answer 10

cute