We have been apart since February and she has moved on, and although for the most part I have too, I still love her very deeply. I want to start the new year fresh and I feel that the only way to do that is to let go of the love that I have for her. So how do I do that? Telling her is not an option as I have not spoken to her since July and I don't think it would be healthy for me to anyways.
2007-12-26 17:50:22 · 37 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would look at whether loving her makes you a better or worse person. If loving her like this now makes you miserable, and a worse person for it, that should hopefully help you see that that's not where you want to be.
Also, just know that if this relationship didn't work out, there is someone out there whom you will love even more than you loved this girl. Trust me!!! I had my heart broken severely by a guy I thought I was going to marry. Years later he turned into a loser, and I am now with the love of my life. When I look back on how miserable I was over losing that first guy, I literally laugh. There IS someone better!
Hope that helps. Also, not sitting around during the holidays thinking about her might do the trick. ;op
2007-12-26 17:57:16 · answer #1 · answered by laraby9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter telling her about this 'love' you are feeling for her, and do it in your BEST handwriting and on good paper. Roll the letter up and tie it with a small bow. On New Year's Eve (or before, if you want to go to a party then) go outside and build a small bonfire, then unroll and read the letter, roll it up again and put the bow back on, then put it into the flames and watch it burn. When there is 'no more letter' you must put out the fire completely ... and as you walk away, you'll notice that the 'love' you felt is 'burned away' and you can be 'normal' again. This is a very 'basic' type of magic that really does work for many things ... you'll still 'love her' and you always will, but the PAIN will be gone and you will be able to move on with your own life.
2007-12-26 17:56:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kris L 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only time can really get you out of love. To be honest, I'm not over my ex and it's been 3 years, so don't think it will happen overnight.
The best thing is, is to focus on other things in your life and meet new people and make new friends. Make a fresh start by taking up a hobby, changing careers or making a bold change in your life. But, don't call her, it will make things worse. Sometimes turning that love into anger against them seems to help, but in the end it just makes matters worse. Only time will help.
2007-12-26 17:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love her, and it is a true, real love, then I am of the opinion that you will never stop loving her. I believe that if you truly love someone, you will always love that person but that it will manifest in different ways (for example: deeply caring for the person as a friend, but in a different way than you would any other random friend).
I don't think there is anything you can do other than what I assume you are already doing (not talking to her, trying not to think about her, trying not to do things that are directly associated with her in your mind, etc).
As cliche as it sounds, time truly is the best healer. I am sorry for your breakup, but it will get better... eventually. *hugs*
2007-12-26 17:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by sadangelsaza 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, the best way to get through that is to fill your mind with something new.
Get a hobby--- join a group that is training for a marathon, get on a dating website and meet new people, join a gym and take some yoga classes, sign up for a cooking class... If you are just doing the same old thing that you have always done you need to make some life changes. Whenever I have a breakup I always find something new to keep my mind busy.
2007-12-26 17:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by Christina L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To stop loving someone is to think of all the reasons why you and that person ended it in the first place. Try to think of all the good things you have now that you couldn't while y'all were together.
For instance, the fact that she's already moved on should signal that you should forget and move on too. If she's your past and you can't forget her, then there is no way you can be happy in the future.
2007-12-26 17:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by Uno 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we have to create ourselves a little ritual, a ceremony. You will not just "poof" stop loving her, but there are things you can do to mentally and emotionally begin letting go.
I like this one, and I have done it many times for many reasons:
Write her name at the top of a piece of paper. Under it write all that you feel for her. The good the bad... all of it. If you have pics of her, gather them. Go out side with a coffee can your pics, the letter and a book of matches. Burn it all in the can. Watch it burn and focus on letting go. Tell yourself that the old is now ashes and the new is upon you.
Yes yes... kind of corny, but it really helps.
2007-12-26 18:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by ☆ Spharoe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frankly,
I just recently found this out. Women hate it when you speak of other women. It however makes us men feel much better.
Make new female friends... really make them just friends. trust me the warm feeling that new interesting women add to your life will definitely make you feel better.
They don't have to look exceptionally beautiful either. They just have to be able to hold a conversation and past the time. Make you and them also feel better about themselves.
Lounges/bars/bookstores/coffee shops are good starter locations.
It helps to have a wingman in case there are other females in a clique lol.
It will be difficult I warn you to meet your first new friend but when you start getting the hang of it then it should be as easy as taking a piss- (even for the first time) lmao
Enjoy man...
LR
2007-12-26 18:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by leopold_rohlehr 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you love someone, you never stop loving them. Eventually the feelings will fade, but love never ends. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news... About the only thing you can do at this point is do things for and with yourself. It will help you become less dependent on that feeling.
I wish you luck. Best Regards.
2007-12-26 17:55:00 · answer #9 · answered by JaneDo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to stop loving her. She was a large part of your life and ment something to you. You will always have her in your heart. You can move on if you remember that even though you "love" her-she has moved on and you kind of feel like you have. You can't truly move on until you understand that it is ok to care, love, or think about her even though it isnt going to be the same for her. good luck
2007-12-26 17:54:31 · answer #10 · answered by hatingmsn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋