Any suggestions on how to discipline a 3 year old? The time out isn't working at all...?

Question

She just seems to be getting more, oh what is the word i am looking for, oh yeah BRATTY!!!! She is my only living child, I lost my son to prematurity 5 years ago, so my husband and I do spoil, but I cant take the bratty acting... Now she is much smarter, than a average 3 year old. and alot more mouthy in the sassy department also... I know it is from being around grown ups... Next year she goes to Pre K.. But I need ideas to make her realize, she just cant act any and every way she wants, also, is this normal for 3 year old's......?

Answer 1

Pushing boundaries is always normal for children, even three year olds. But you need to find something that means business to your child and stick to your guns. For some kids it's time outs, but I also find putting a toy, etc in time out works too. DD, 4, will straighten up real quick if I put her security blanket, a favorite toy, etc in time out (the top shelf of a closet/top of the entertainment center/top of the fridge). She can earn it back with good behavior, but if bad behavior continues another toy goes in time out. The first time I probably put 5 or so toys in timeout and from then on she straightens up pretty quick once I ask if I should put a toy in timeout, or one toy will do the trick. Good luck.

Answer 2

In my opinion, the only way to earn lasting respect from your child is to respect the child. To teach the child what respect is, and that it's a two way street. That being said, I would highly recommend that you ignore the first posters advice about spanking. Don't spank. Spanking won't teach the child to respect you, only to fear and resent you.

This is normal for a three-year-old, but it's also normal (and expected) for parents to instruct their children the proper ways to behave.

I would suggest you stick with time-outs. Time outs are not designed to make the behavior stop long-term, only to get the child to calm down at that moment. So, continue using them. Do not act angry when putting your child in time-out. Be calm, matter-of-fact, and firm, but not angry. Do not give your daughter your emotion when she acts out, because an emotional reaction could be enough of a "reward".

Along those lines, avoid random reinforcement parenting. In other words, be consistent. Never ever reward her brattiness, not even in a small way (with anger, for example). The flip side of this is: always reward good behavior. Always. That way, she learns that if she acts out, she is not rewarded, not even with a spank or a yell or any kind of attention. If she is good, then she gets your attention. Over time, this will work. It's not an overnight solution, which is why consistency is key.

Good luck :)

Answer 3

Some of this brattiness is because she's been an equal among adults. Add to this a child's tendency to push the envelope, and it becomes difficult to influence her.

She has learned that she can get away with her behavior because ... she has gotten away with her behavior. We're all like that. She is just a bit selective because she can be selective.

Time outs always seemed to work. Of course, a time out in her room with a TV and a ton of toys isn't much of a time out.

Find another parental tool in your bag. Positive reinforcement works as well as negative. What does she want? Make getting that item dependent on her behavior. And do NOT cave in, ever. If you promise something based on her good behavior, then she misbehaves, do not go soft- it does no one any good. Find another goal, or postpone that first one a significant period of time. Remember, it's YOU who is in charge, not her.

Kids need boundaries. Establishing them, then caving in isn't good.

Have a great New Year!!

Answer 4

Hi,

I have a 3 year old too. Try taking a toy away everytime she acts out and reward her with a toy when things are going well.There will be alot of drama when you do but she will learn that she can be disciplined by losing a toy for bad behavior and rewarded with a toy for good. Use the same toys do not buy toys unless your rich,lol. Good Luck

Answer 5

A 3 YEAR OLD WANTS TO BE GOOD IN PRESCHOOL THEY USE COLORS IF YOU GET IN TROUBLE YOU HAVE TO MOVE YOUR NAME FROM GREEN TO YELLOW THEN RED ETC. KIND OF LIKE GETTING YOUR NAME ON THE BOARD WITH CHECK MARKS. THIS REALLY WORKS. EVEN WITH THE BRATTY ONES. WHEN SHE STARTS TO ACT UP TELL HER YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE COLORS. HAVE A CONSEQUENCE FOR GETTING TO RED. A NAP IS GOOD FOR RED, IT GIVE YOU AND HER A CHANCE TO REGROUP. AFTER A FEW DAYS SHE WILL BE TICKLED SHE WAS ON GREEN ALL DAY. MAYBE GIVE A CANDY OR SOMETHING AT THE END OF THE DAY IF SHE STAYS ON GREEN. AND THE BEST REWARD IS FOR HER TO BE ABLE TO TELL DAD OR GRANNY OR SOMEONE SPECIAL THAT SHE WAS ON GREEN ALL DAY.

Answer 6

I have 7yr, 4yr and 2 yr.
We play star and dot game.....
When they do bad deed then instead of time out they get a dot.
For every good deed they get a star.
Every 15 days we count dots and stars for each kid.
If dots are more then that many toys have to go to basement for lock-ups or they will not get certain things like ice-cream or they have to loose that much money from their piggy-bank.
If stars are more then they get back those number of toys from basement or they get that much money in their piggy-bank.
Now they are avoiding bad deeds and doing good deeds.

Answer 7

Consistently punish her for it. If she mouths off, give her a warning, for a continuing offense put her somewhere unfun. (We've resorted to the bathroom with the tub toys removed, cuz bedroom was too fun.) She'll get the message if you're reliable with the consequences. It takes a while, I know, and it's hard work. Good luck!

p.s. Don't spank! (As stated above.) Research suggests that physical discipline leads to the same recidivism rate as noncorporal punishment, yet correlates to higher rates of violence from kids.

Answer 8

There seems to be an anti spanking vibe in parents these days. It's not a bad thing to spank your child as long as you don't hit them too hard and let them know you still love them but they can't do bad things.

My suggestion would be to spank her then send her to time out to let her calm down then when she is calm you ask her not to do what she did because it makes you sad and tell her "we don't like to be sad do we" and she should get the point

Answer 9

Take stuff away from her. Tell her if she, for example, doesn't clean up her toys and you have to do it she won't get them back until she starts behaving. If she is talking back, ignore her until she is talking properly. Little kids hate being ignored.

Answer 10

yes, pretty normal for 3 year olds. A stern voice; if that doesn't work sent to her room; if that doesn't work a good swat on the butt. In that order.