I'm not sure why I keep making bad choices over and over again. Its like i've been in a rut for several years now and I just cant seem to get out of it. Most of the time I have a positive upbeat outlook, but then there are days like today where I barely can find strength to make it through.
I feel like I'm always having to give up my dreams and my future for others in my family because in a sense I always have to come to their rescue for something or another. I'm not trying to complain about it... it just gets hard sometimes.
And I keep making the same wrong decisions with friendships and the way I handle things.... I feel like i'm losing everything and everyone dear to me because I just cant think clearly right now....
Any advice on how I can change my life positively?
2007-12-26 16:18:39 · 12 answers · asked by Christa 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
its not that i'm complaining... i'm seeking advice because when you're in these kinds of situations you dont see clearly. I'm not saying my life is really bad... its just sometimes i'm not sure where to start, especially when I feel like things will fall apart if I dont hold them together... its happen before and i'm scared it will happen again. I love my family and its hard to put yourself first when you love others so much and want the best for them.... I guess I just feel trapped in so many ways...
2007-12-26 16:32:27 · update #1
You may need to weed out your circle of friends, and make a determination just who are true friends, and who are leaches.
It's better only one or two true friends, than so many hangers on.
With family you will find that the ties that seem to bond, don't bond as well as they should.
Pay more attention to your own personal health and well being, doing everything you can to stay healthy both physically and mentally.
It's better to be strong and fit, than to have to lean on people.
Wishing you all the best of the holidays....and...
Good luck.
2007-12-26 16:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're aware of making the 'same bad choices over
and over` you are approaching a point where you
can stop doing it.
This may mean dealing with something you won't like
to think about or making some hard choices.
It's normal to feel 'down` at such a time.
Does 'losing everything and everyone dear...` mean chosing to put yourself first for a change?
Is there some guilt involved?
It helps to someone you can trust to serve as a
'mirror` to help you see this kind of choice clearly.
A disinterested party. A friend who isn't part of
the situation in question.
Keep trying. Things can only improve.
2007-12-26 16:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by Irv S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
quit trying to live your life "positively" and live your life. NO ONE gets what they thought they were going to get out of life. there was a question on Yahoo Answers here and everyone said "no". That's life!
I was brainwashed to think positively and follow my dreams, and as a result i made bad choices. the more i thought positivly, the more i ignored reality and made choices based on the fantasy in my head, the worse my choises were, the more i thought positively --- until one day i had to stop!
To make good choices you need to learn from reality. to do that you must accept reality instead of thinking positively.
Most ppl don't have dreams, they just live their lives for other people. they cook. they party. they host christmas parties. they clean up afterward. they have no time for "dreams". they are happy.
i had no social life so i had dreams. You know who cared that i followed them? NO ONE. I wrote a novel. it sold 2 copes. i could have spend those 5 years living for other people and having friends, instead i pushed everyone away to follow my dream because i was brainwashed to. Basically i spend 5 years talking to myself (writing) and play pretend in my own head. It wasn't worth it.
Don't have dreams. have plans. A "dream" is a vague thing, an emotional thing, and by definition, the odds are against you and you have no idea how to get there.
a PLAN is a goal to which you have mapped out the route on a map -- and possibly an alternate route -- and got a cell phone in your car in case you get lost. A PLAN is a bunch of steps you have thought out with some vague ideas about what to do if at any point something went wrong. make PLANS for your life and follow through on them. start with small ones. You get a real high from following through on a plan.
Look, life is hard. You can look around and see what real ways you can do to make it better for humans or animals. Do not sacrifice your life to take care of retards or take back an alcoholic for the 5th time, but help in those places where you can actually improve something. That is all. If you have chances like that, you are blessed. I don't! I lost them all for following a "dream".
in other words, what the other person said -- life is what it is. quit trying to live a cliche!
2007-12-26 16:36:17 · answer #3 · answered by mockingbird 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice is take that positive upbeat outlook and run.
One thing that I have learned from a writer that I look up to is to be positive. It is impossible to think of a positive thought and a negative thought at the same given time. Brian Tracy says it best in one of his analogies. Are there any foods that you don't like or don't sit right with your body? I assume the answer is Yes.
Well, how often do you eat those foods? I assume that the answer is never. So with that in mind..... Are there negative thoughts or negative people that you associate with that bring you down? YES/NO? Well how often do you think those negative thoughts or associate with those people?
Sometimes you have to leave people behind and hope that they will catch up.
You can get a lot of inspirational videos by searching for Brian Tracy on YouTube.
BEST WISHES & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
2007-12-26 16:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well your taking a wonderful first step at making your life better, kinda see what your doing wrong and want to fix it. Now the hard part is actually doing something about it. They say the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. Hey I did it for a long time, I think we all do at some point. I use to go out to bars and so on hoping to meet a nice girl who would find me interesting and want to date me. Well it never happened, all I got was rejection and a few drunks and druggies who liked me. So after 7 years I have stopped. Now you need to know that this is your life. You are not responsible for things other members of your family do. As long as you keep rushing in to bail them out every time something blows up they will never learn. They will just keep right on doing what they're doing and you'll be stuck having to spend time and money on them that you should not have to. You need to be strong and just say I'm sorry I just can't help you with this one. Or I'm sorry I just don't have the money to give to you. If you ever do give family or friends money never expect to get it back, and I mean never!! I saw that happen with my two older sisters. One is responsible the other is not as responsible. So now the one that is, is having to pay back a lot of money the other one needed in order to live!! You should help out when you can, but only when you really can. As far as relationships go, well you need to realize that people will not change. Meaning if you meet a guy who you think is cute and seems nice but seems to never have his own money, run, run like the wind! If you meet a guy and he is self confident, which is just the nice way of saying cocky, let him go to he will always be that way and you will always be second. When you meet someone take some time to get to know them, don't rush things. Then after you get to know them some go from there. If the guy is nice, polite, treats you good, does not yell at you or make you feel bad, then great!! If he does then get away from him. Many women seem to go for the "bad boys" cause they say their fun and exciting!!! Well yeah they may be, but don't think he will settle down once you begin seeing him. I have many women that are my friends and each one that has ended up with that kind of guy is divorced or going through one. You should never want or think that someone will change. Yes, people do change, but things only change for the better if things start out good to begin with. The same is true with friends. So now the hard part is up to you. You need to change what your doing, don't be afraid of it. Things will get better and much better but you will have to stick to your guns and not every minute will be happy and wonderful, but I think you will find over all your life will be much happier! Good Luck!! =)
2007-12-26 16:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you re a good person for putting your family before yourself that shows that you re a selfless person and would do anything to better someone elses day
i believe that everyone has their time when they achieve happiness and stability in their life. for some it comes right away .For others it takes time. all i can say is to stay positive and true to yourself and always remember that your actions decide who you are. just hold on in there and always look at things in a positve way
as for your friends True friends understand when someone around them is having a tough time and need a shoulder to cry on or something. they should be there for you not the other way around
Keep strong and you shall prevail
2007-12-26 16:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by gman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish to put yourself first. Stop worrying about other family members so much - they are capable of taking responsibility for their own lives just as you are. Set some goals and stick to them. Life is hard regardless but if you are motivated and determined you will do just fine:)
2007-12-26 16:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set small goals. Buy yourself a calendar then write daily, weekly and monthly goals on it, then work towards achieving them. Aim for small goals, but work towards a bigger goal.
2007-12-26 16:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by minimouse68 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you a question: does it seem that all bad things that happen are simply unfair? without a point? Well this are all the signs that christian people get from God, it is like a call that God is giving you, in order for you to know more about him, to let him come into your life.
2007-12-26 16:22:41 · answer #9 · answered by Jorge 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Don't live your life in cliches. Just do what you gotta do, and keep your sense of humor in tact.
2007-12-26 16:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by Bobo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋