hi there, anonymous female in her twenties here. I have a friend who is staying with my husband and I in our two bedroom home. Having no children and a spare room, we run into quite a few visitors who end up asking if they can "stay" with us from time to time.
Under the circumstances that my good friend had been going through (with her "fiance") I agreed to let her stay for 3 months. all of OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, & DECEMBER. I even wrote a friendly short one page lease of expectations etc
Halfway through the lease I found out she had been PREGNANT even before she moved in. Well as soon as I confronted her she was a little embarassed, and since mid Nov, Ive only seen her for a total of 4 days.
Well the time has come for her to get her stuff out of the room, she has only dropped by, and I want to respectfully have her get her items out ASAP so we can turn it back into an office, we REALLY need the space, and I am SOOO not good at these things!! Please help.
2007-12-26 15:46:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Sit down and tell her it is time for her to leave...or write her a letter and make sure you give a SOLID date that she needs leave by both verbally and in a letter. Then follow through with the date...Have your husband be with you so she sees you both mean business.
2007-12-26 15:52:01 · answer #1 · answered by rayvonti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're so bad at this I'd suggest writing a note. Then you don't have to face her and start stuttering and feeling embarrased and unable to actually KICK HER OUT. Just write a nice note saying "dear X, please keep in mind that the lease expires this month (aka in 4 days) and, as much as we've enjoyed having you as our guest, we need the room by the 1st week of Jan because apparently some relatives will be coming over and we really need the space. I'd really appreciate that you could make arrangements to move before then -- I'm sure you must have checked on some options by now". Period. She isn't that good of a friend if she hid such an important thing from you. So I wouldn't worry that much about her either.
2007-12-26 16:04:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most of these people have great opinions. I just want to add: Don't let her being pregnant affect your decision. I get the feeling she's going to play the "but i'm pregnant I don't have a place to stay"' card. That was inconsiderate of her to move into your place pregnant without you knowing about it. She probably thought she could take advantage of your generosity . Some people need a kick in the butt. Don't budge tell her you had a contract and now it's time that you found another place to live. Write her a note saying she can 1)pack her things up and move them out of your place or 2) tell her you will pack her things up for her and take them to a storage place where she can pay for the fees herself. Hopefully she will get the hint. Have your husband help you with this. Stay firm with your answer to her. Don't let her try to get a couple days out of you.
Good luck.
2007-12-26 18:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by L.M.L 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First I'd wait till December has run it's course, she just might leave as you had expected. If that don't work LIE...If you live in an apartment, you could say that the manager has confronted you about your room-mate, or you could say that your going to move to new place and she'll need to get out SOON, then when she's gone you could say that the new place fell through. Let's see...You could say you and your hubby are going to split up and could you stay with her at her new place? Or, you could accuse her of sleeping with your hubby or just say you suspect that he may have a crush on her, and that you need her gone, to salvage your marriage.
Good luck
2007-12-26 16:07:56 · answer #4 · answered by Iguana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to her that the agreed upon time has expired and that you need the space and that you will allow a few days ( Not more than 7-9 ) for her to find other arrangments, I believe that since she is not arround much (since you have not seen her but for a few days) she has other friends that could help her out, you have done your part and lived up to your end of the agreement now it is her turn to honor her end of it.
2007-12-26 16:43:30 · answer #5 · answered by gr8heart3 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, if your "good friend" doesn't get the hints, there is no polite way to get her to leave. You need to tell her to her face that her lease is up and she needs to get out of your friggin home by a certain date or you'll charge her $35 every day that she spends over her lease date.
It is your responsbility as the owner/landlord to write down all expectations in the initial lease and make sure your tenant is aware of all aspects of the lease. The tenants signature should be on every page of the lease.
2007-12-26 16:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by 6th Finger 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you wrote up a lease, there is no "polite asking." If my husband and I stay in our apartment after our kease is up, our landlord will not be politely asking us to leave her property.
The next time you see her (or get in contact with her if you can), remind her of your written agreement, and of the date by which she needs to be out. If she is not out by then, pack up her stuff from her room and put it where it's not in your way. Then contact your local storage unit and find out what they charge for storage. Then start the meter running and inform her that she is getting a bill.
Is this friendly? No. But if you are friendly to people who take advantage of you, they will see that friendliness as further invitation to take advantage. Cut it off as soon as possible.
2007-12-27 02:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by julz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her infront of your husband, that will make her feel uncomfortable with the fact of being confronted by two people (and one of them a guy), I know that sounds harsh but it will make her feel under pressure.
But if you dont want to do that ask her quietly and ask her to sit down in a private area and say "I don't mean to be rude, but my husband and I need the space to put up an office. Could you please get rid of your stuff? If you need help my husband and I are willing too.
And if she's stubborn you say:
"Listen lady, get out of my home before I call the police! I'll take you to court if you don't get your but out this door right! MOVE IT!"
Nah just kidding don't do that, just slap her instead!
2007-12-26 16:09:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow
well ummmm first things first
it's YOUR home
YOU have a right to decide who stay and leaves when.
don't tell me your not good at these things none of us are we just pretend
be firm yet genlte and calm
remember this is YOUR house and you have a right to do what you want
p.s. when you let people stay and make agreements i am strongly going to emphasize this. Get it all down on paper inprint and signatures or you might one day end up in a law suit. good luck
2007-12-26 16:07:06 · answer #9 · answered by grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your dislike of confrontation has turned you into a doormat here. Tell your friend that she has overstayed her welcome, and needs to move her things out immediately. If she doesn't do so in a reasonable amount of time (say one week), pack her things up, set them outside and tell her to come get them.
In the future, tell friends that NO, you do not have a place for them to stay. If they respect you, they won't press. If they do press, they aren't your friends anyway, tell them off.
2007-12-27 08:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋