would it be right to get temporary custody order?

Question

ok, those of you who have been reading my questions know the situation with my husband's ex. the lying, drugs, threatening to kidnap the kids ect... Now something has happened and we have the chance to get the kids. She was in a very bad car accident this week. Every one waited 3 days to tell us even though we had the kids. she broke her neck, hip, nose, shattered her leg and cut her liver a bladder. She is not in good shape. My husband and i are not cold hearted, but we are trying to think about what is best for the kids. She will not be able to use her legs for at least 6 months and is looking at a years worth of recovery. Her parents are going to move them in their home (where the kids have been staying on her weeks anyways) and said that they still want to keep the kids, but she is going to need constant care, and her parents are in their 60's how are they going to take care of her and two 5yr olds. I don't think they can. Everyone told my husband to go for temporary custody, and

my husband is calling tomorrow to talk to his lawyer about it. We want to do this as delicate as we can for the kids. As much as we don't get along with his ex, she is still a human being and it sucks that this happened, but we just want to do what is best for the kids, and we don't think that its best for them to see their mommy like that every other week when they are there. and being that she has internal bleeding we don't want to risk them jumping on her when they get excited and hurting her more. My husband has said that he will tell the judge to set up times when we can take the kids to visit her for a little while, and he doesn't want any child support or anything. He just wants to be the one to take care of the kids. He has been fighting her for custody for 2 years, and we hate that this happened, but it might be our only way to get the kids in a safe enviroment. Are we doing the right thing? We really feel that we are, but want opinions.

oh yeah one more thing. If we get temporary custody the kids will have to switch schools. right now it is joint custody right down the middle no one has primary custody so she fought us to let them go to the school her parents picked out even though the school system we live in is a better school system. If we get custody the school system they are in now will kick them out. What is the best way to make this transition easy on the kids? They will already have one big transition to go through and we don't want to make it too hard on them by having to switch schools too, but we would have no choice. Any ideas on how to make this easier on them?

i wanted to write something in regards to what SLB said. We are not trying to be selfish. My husband and his ex have joint custody were we get them every other week, but on her weeks the kids are never with her. We were very worried about how to break the accident to the kids. We had to find out 3 days later through the newspaper and police. We also found out that she is going by 4 different names and there is belief that drugs were involved. The only thing the kids said when we told them was " she never wears her seatbelt and she should" They didn't want to go to the hospital and see her like that, but the grandmother said she had to. We have confirmation that she will make it, but will be unable to walk or do anything for at least 6 months. they are putting a hostpital bed and wheelchair in her parents house for her parents to take constant care of her. How can 2 people in their late 60's with health problems take care of her and two 5 year olds?

Answer 1

Do it. This is the best. The grandparents might try to fight it, but they will loose. Just be sure to not have the kids miss any scheduled time with mom, she will keep track and use it against you at a later date.

Answer 2

First of all, you both are very selfish. You are using her condition as an excuse to procede with temporary custody. What is it hurting seeing there mom in the hospital, that is life. I would wait until she recovers if she recovers. Monitoring the behavior of the kids and make sure they are ok. Nothing is worst than not been able to see there mother, especially while she is in the hospital. They will constantly ask you, were is mom. I want to see mom. Are you going to take them when they ask for her. I don't think so. You probably say let wait until _____. And continually put that day off. This will help them to learn about life and death. Stop lying to yourselves. If you have joint custody you don't have anything to worry about. You will be helping the grandparents. They will not bare the kids alone. You will be there. RIGHT

Answer 3

She can't care for them,you can, you get custody. The grandparent's rights do not trump the parents unless extreme circumstances (like the other parent is in jail). You are not being cold hearted you are doing what is best for the kids. Work a transition and help them keep a relationship with their mother, but you need to take charge of their care.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I think it is OK to go for custody, but PLEASE make sure they see Mom every week! You think they shouldn't "see her like that", but NOT seeing her is incredibly cruel to both the kids and the mom. They are five, they can understand "no jumping on Mommy". The grandparents also don't need the stress of not seeing the kids on top of all they have to do to help their daughter. Be big-hearted about it, it will pay you back in the end.

Answer 5

Go for custody. The kids will adjust to a different school and system very well. Heck, they are only 5 years old. They make friends fast.

Answer 6

Probably not a bad thing to do. That is a shame about her accident. since they are only 5 changing school systems shouldn't be a big deal. Good luck .

Answer 7

talk to a family law attorney