please help. its not a stupid qquestion. please?

Question

okay.
here it is...

so my dads in the hospital cause he had a stroke. hes getting better and hes in rehab now. i have a 10 year oldyounger brother , im 13. my moms obviously stressed out about everything. and we are going down heavily mentally, physically, and financially. i try to please my mom every way that i can. but everything that comes out of my mouth seems to blow her off. literally. she throws things and rants about how im such a bad sister, and a bad person. like if i say 'frigen' to my brother she throws a tantrum. i know its hard on her so im trying to be understanding. i barely told any of my friends cause they dont really have the experience. i just thought to put it up on here , where i dont even know you ppl would help lift me up. right now im bawling my eyes out cause my mom gave me an 'emotional' lecture on EVERYTHING. when i went into my room and locked the door, she said dont lock your door, i said why, and she said so i can come (extended)

continued.
so she said so i can come in later and talk to you.
so i thought that she would say sorry , and we would hug and have an emotional loving time. but then she went out the door to work. yeah she has to work at night time cause my dad cannot support her. im so depressed right now.
i honestly dont know what to do...

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about your situation -- it sounds like the stress of your father's illness (and I'm sure paying bills) is quite a lot to handle right now. But you are not a bad person, nor a bad sister, nor a bad daughter. Sounds like your mom is stressed out too. She doesnt mean to be rude or mean to you -- she loves you -- she's just touchy about anything anyone says (and since you're the closest, she takes it out on you) -- this doesn't justify it's right though.

Can you sit down with your mom and brother, and talk about things? Say how you feel - that you're stressed out, and find how to help each other out? so that you don't hurt each other? ask, "what can you do to help?" and to be reasonable to each other.

That sounds great that your father is getting better. Is there someone else you can reach out to? A counselor? Some adult you trust -- an aunt? Talk to your father too -- lift his spirits and that will lift yours too. Think that this situation is just temporary and all will be better. You're a beautiful child, and you have your future ahead of you. Think of all the positive things that you do, your good friends, your talents. etc. Focus on that. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Here's a hug, xx. : )

Answer 2

That is a rough thing for you all to be facing. I hope your Dad's recovery goes well. Expect some tension between your Mum and other family members particularly at the moment as your lives are changing after your Dad's stroke. Do what you can to speak politely and respectfully to your Mum and brother and help out around the house to take the pressure off your Mum. Journal your experiences. It will probably help you and may help others in the future. There may be websites with forums so you can "talk" with others who are going through the same sort of thing. All the best.

Answer 3

Wow, you guys are going through a lot right now, all 3 of you. You sound like a really good person. You really do need some one to talk to. Maybe a counselor at school, a family member? Any aunts or uncles or grandparents? Try and reach out to some one. Your mom is really under so much stress that she probably can't think right now. Try not to say vulgar words to your brother and remember that this won't last forever. You are not a bad person, but you are going to have to be really strong right now. Much luck to you.

Answer 4

Your Mom's life has been turned upside down in ways you can't even imagine. You and she need some counseling to help you both cope. Obviously you are very mature for your age and I know you are scared too and don't know what will happen to your lives. There are support groups for families of stroke victims and you should be able to get help contacting them by checking with your dads doctors office or the rehab clinic he is in. Do it for yourself and for your mom. You are a great kid even if you do call your brother a bad word. I hope life brightens up for your family and i wish your dad a full recovery but it all takes time so be as patient with your mom as you can. She needs you and you need her.

Answer 5

I'm really sorry for your situation, hon. It looks like your mom is stressed out, and it's NOT your fault... unfortunately, she is taking things out on you, and she should not...

You aren't a bad sister or person.... you are just in a bad situation.

I hope your father recovers well, and that things change for the better. Please talk to an adult or adult relative you know, trust and respect. If you don't have someone, try the school guidance counselor? They are trained to give us good advice and direction.

sending hugs and all the best thoughts i can send...xo

Answer 6

Hang in there. I understand the pressures you are facing but try not to take too much on board. Your mum is facing a lot of things right now and it's not right that she is using you for a sounding board. Find someone in your family who you can talk to and you can find some support with. You sound like a very good girl keep strong, inspiration comes to those who seek it. Good luck.

Answer 7

your mom is carrying the weight of her u and brother and father serious situation and perhaps now is the time to not ask for anything and why are u the bad sis and he a good brother and yes everyone argues even adults give me two children that get along forever and i still wont believe it. when ur dads better and home itll be okay andd god bless u and ur dad prays he gets well soon and this crisis will be over

Answer 8

My heart goes out to you and your family for what you're going through right now. It sounds like you need to find an adult you can confide in who can help you to work through these tough times - a trusted teacher or sunday school teacher would be good or one of your dad's nurses. When you go to visit him, see if you can strike up a friendship with one of his nurses or therapists. Just be sure you don't take her time from her job.

Answer 9

Well, you have been trying to be understanding and thats not working so now you need to sit down with her and tell her everything you are feeling. If you don't express your feelings to her then she will never know what you are experiencing. Ims sure once she knows how hard this is for you to she will be more understanding.

Answer 10

first you got to realise that depression dont last. so matter how you feel tell yourself this wont last. try to help your mommy much as possible theres gonna be times when you feel helpless dont worry about it its normal. ur gonna be ok your just in a bump in the road now everyone goes through them its like martin lawerance said "no one is immune from the trials and tribulations of life" but you just keep on keeping on friend "tough times dont last tough people do"