2007-12-26 12:55:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Why has there never been a woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need hoovering yet!!
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Why can't women ski
You ever seen snow in a kitchen?
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Why did the woman have 2 black eyes?
She had to be told twice
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What do you do if your wife runs out of the kitchen screaming and shouting?
Buy a shorter chain
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Why have women got small feet?
To get nearer to the kitchen
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Why do brides wear white on their wedding day?
So they'll match the rest of the kitchen appliances when they get home.
2007-12-27 00:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by SuperStu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
arghhhhhhhh STOP DOING WOMAN JOKES!
heres are some men jokes I LOOOVE THIS ONE!
AGE DRINK
17 - beer
25 - vodka
35 - scotch
48 - double scotch
66 - Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 - My parents are away for the weekend.
25 - My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 - My fiancée is away for the weekend.
48 - My wife is away for the weekend.
66 - My second wife is dead.
AGE FAVORITE SPORT
17 - sex
25 - sex
35 - sex
48 - sex
66 - napping
AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 - "tongue"
25 - "breakfast"
35 - "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 - "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 - "Got home alive."
AGE FAVORITE FANTASY
17 - getting to third
25 - airplane sex
35 - menage a trois
48 - taking the company public
66 - Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
AGE FAVORITE HOUSE PET
17 - roaches
25 - stoned-out college roommate
35 - German Shepherd
48 - children from his first marriage
66 - Barbie
AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 - 25
25 - 35
35 - 48
48 - 66
66 - 17
or
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.
2007-12-26 21:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
I respect women too much to make any jokes on them. But i do have to say that these jokes are funny.
Note: I respect females nothin wrong with that, i actually respect everyone. If i do make a joke, it is of myself or my family
2007-12-26 21:28:39 · answer #3 · answered by Alex M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife bought me a mood ring to help deal with my rage. When I'm happy it's purple, and when I'm mad it leaves a red mark on her forehead.
Why are women's feet so small? So they can stand closer to the oven.
Why do women wear makeup? Because they're fat and ugly.
2007-12-28 20:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with EarthCal
2007-12-27 00:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by Maru V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
daniel beat me to it =(
but yeah, that's my favorite
2007-12-26 21:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by 14bert14 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how many men does it take to open a beer?
None, the woman should already have it open when she brings it
2007-12-26 21:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by sue 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a penis?
A man. Hee hee.
2007-12-26 21:19:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 4⤋
If men are so f ucking marvellous why aren't they so marvellous at f ucking? Two minute wonders.
2007-12-26 21:07:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
what do u call a blonde with pigtails?
a blow with handles
2007-12-26 21:10:58 · answer #10 · answered by chocolatebongos 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋