is my dad being unreasonable?

Question

i live with both my parents. my best friend invited me to go with her to ottawa thats only 3 hours away by drive for 3 days on new years eve. im 18 years old turning 19 in 2 months. my mom said its okay but my dad said that bad things happen on new years eve and that i cant go. i said he could talk to her parents about the trip but he still says no. every year at my house on new years eve we always do the same thing..stay home and watch a movie and he says we should do the same. he says i cant even go out to a party my friend is having cuz bad things happen on new years eve. he says he trusts me but he just doesnt trust the people out there. ggrrrrrr im sssoooo mad i really wanna go on the trip what do i do? advice please!

Answer 1

So i asked my dad if he would let me go up their (I live in New Jersey USA) if i was 18 (I'm now 14) and he said no. n I asked him why and he said basically the same thing your dad said, and when i asked him his reasoning and he said that he wants to protect me in the world and even though he does want me to grow up his still wants me to be his little girl. He still wants to control everything about me growing up as much as he can and he said that bad things' could happen on New Years eve and that protecting me from them is his sole purpose in life. Well i hope that that helped.

Monique

Answer 2

Ok. Now that I am 23 and have my own children I understand were parents are coming from, but other then that I was so mad when my parents told me no. New Years is the worst time to party, all the drunks and irresponsible people out there. You can always talk to your dad about the pros and cons, and tell him how mature you have been since now, and tell him you are 18, and you can make your own adult decisions, but you would really love his approval.

Worst thing also is going through your mom to get to him, just because sometimes later on down the road it sparks a bad nerve between the both of them.

Just use your mind on New Years you can have fun without drinking, and doing stupid things.
Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Well I guess your afraid he'll kick you out is that it? I don't have to remind you that your legally an adult now and can do what you want to do I? If you don't fear him kicking you out then just do it anyway. Your taking a trip with a friend. Not coming home at 3am drunk, parking the car on the front lawn and stumbling to your bed.

He does have a point though. Your probably going to drink and get drunk and be with people you don't know. It's dangerous out there these days and people always act nicer then they are when they want something from you which will give you a false sense of security.

However your parents cant protect you forever you eventually have your own life to live. so if you keep your wits about you and don't drink too much you'll be fine.

I say go anyway and suffer the consequences when you get back. Be safe and have fun.

Answer 4

I see a lot of kids say that you're 18 so do what you want. But the fact of the matter is that you are living in your parent's house and they do make the rules no matter how old you are. You are apparently dependent on your parents and need them for whatever the reason you are still living at home. Your dad is right. A lot of bad things DO happen on nights when people are known to drink and to get drunk. The truth of the matter is that your dad loves you very much, even enough to make an unpopular decision. A lot of parents can't do that and later are sorry they didn't. Respect your dad's word.

Answer 5

It is not unreasonable to ask for a teen to help out every now and then but to pay for everything is asking too much from my perspective. If you are truly saving money for college and aren't out blowing it then he should respect the fact that you are saving for a good cause. You could tell him that you will pay for the dog if he will put money into your savings account for college and see what he says to that. Also, have you talked to your mom about this? It could be a child support thing and he could just be trying to get back some of the money he spends for child support...maybe your mom should talk to him. If all else fails tell him since you didn't ask for the dog and were not and are not a responsible adult to handle the responsibilities for the animal, he may want to give it away. Chances are he loves the dog since it spends more time at his house than you do and that would probably be the end of it. Good luck!

Answer 6

I was seventeen when I moved out of my mom's house, thinking I was mature enough to handle myself and the grown up decisions I was going to have to make, I ended up pregnant after two months of being on my own, as it turns out my parents were right, I was not old enough, at eighteen I was a mother to a wonderful little girl, I do not regret my decision to keep her but I do with I would have waited a while longer to become a mother. Point being is parents have a sixth sense about these things, they know you better than you think they do, I am not saying don't go, but remember they are only being like that as they love you and don't want anything bad to happen to you! You need to think your actions through and handle it as a mature adult would, talk to them, explain why you want to go, and have a plan of action incase something does go wrong. If something were to happen your parents would feel responsible cause they let you go, so you need to find a happy medium and work it from there, yes you are legally an adult but are you ready to handle what can come your way?

Answer 7

I cant say I blame your father. Any holiday seems to be a reason for people to behave badly. If you were mines.........I would let you go and tell you to have fun!!!

You Dad is absolutely right for being worried sick about what could happen........but you are a teenager and a grown teenager. He should trust that he taught you right from wrong and he gave you a set of morals to live by. As a parent of a teen and a 21 year old.......I almost faint when they go out sometimes...........but it is a matter of me doing my inventory and asking myself.........did I tell her (the adult) not to sit her drink down, did I tell her no matter what the situation or how late, or where she is.........if she does not feel safe call home and I will come get her no questions asked, did I tell her not to go anywhere alone, did I tell her not to get in any cars with anyone she just met, did I give her the emergency cell phone, did I give her the emergency phone card, did I give her my gas card, did I tell her if she happens to have one too many and can't drive.......call home and if necessary we will pay for a hotel room for her for the night..........the list goes on and on.........we are worriers......that is what parents do.......my God-Mom still gives me 100 lectures when we go on vacation...AND I AM 40!!!!!

Talk to your Dad and just tell him you have done pretty good so far........and if at this point he never learns to trust you or what he has instilled in you..............when is he going to start?

I have my fingers crossed for u...........

Answer 8

I am the mother if a 15 yr old daughter and I can see your dads point of view. Parents want to hold onto our kids and protect them-especially when our kids want to go do things we feel are unsafe. I know right now it seems like you'll never break free but soon you won't be under their roof and free to do anything you wish. I left home at 17 for good - I didnt have parents that cared to stop me from doing things and I learned things the hard way. Be thankful you have a dad that cares so much. Its only one New Years and maybe he feels like it could possibly be the last one to carry on your movie night tradition. He loves you.

Answer 9

Absolutely. It would be different somewhat if your friend's parents weren't going. Bad things happen every day so with his theory, you shouldn't leave the house at all. How likely is that? You cannot be afraid to live. You only live once. There are things that can be done to alert him if anything happens or just to let him know you are fine. It's called a phone. Call him while you are on the road. Call him when you get there. Call him when the ball drops to wish him Happy New Year. Call him when you are on the road back. Don't forget to call.

Answer 10

I don't think your dad is being unreasonable; he may be a little overprotective, but that just shows he cares about you.
If I were you, I would sit down with your dad and explain the good things about the trip. I would also talk about the bad things that could possibly happen but how you would deal with the problem. That will let your dad know that you are serious about going and that you are mature enough to go.