complain about life but never wants to change, what's the problem?

Question

a friend complains about his life all the time, but he never takes any efforts to change. he doesnt try to get a job, or meet with more friends. I dont know what his problem is. I care about him, so anyone can give me some idea about why he has such contradictions?

Answer 1

He's a lazy depressed bore.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

That's pretty typical of people who hates life and complains a lot. If he did anything to change his situations, his focus would be on the solution side, rather than the problem side.

As a friend of his, you have to understand THIS. YOU, as a good friend, need to understand, you can NOT change him. You can not change his behavior and you can not change the way he thinks. He will do what he wants to do. If complaining is what he wants to do, he will do it.

Give him the support if he needs it and listen to him. That's all you can do. Trying to solve his problem for him will get you no where, other than to be more frustrated. DO NOT EVER make his problem yours. It will suck you down with him. At certain point, you will have to cut yourself off his problems. Just be aware, of it. Time MAY come.

Answer 4

Your friend is probably a complainer. Some people complain just to complain. They are trying to get others to feel sorry for them because it makes them feel better in some way. They are the only one that can make themself better. I was once told that when a person is comfortable with their life, they will never change it. The only way a person will change something in their life is if it gets too uncomfortable. And everyone has a different tollerance level when it comes to being uncomfortable.

Answer 5

There's a story about a dog that sits on a nail howling and in pain. A friend of the owner asks, " why don't you get it up can't you see how much pain he's in?"
The owner replies," He's not crippled, he's just not in enough pain yet. He'll get up when he is."
The point is, you can encourage him all you want and it won't matter if he's not ready to do something for himself. Just let him know you're on his side and you've got his back and you want the best for him. Beyond that is a waste of time and it can be a big frustration to take that burden on yourself.

Answer 6

There are so many people like that - i admit ive been guilty of it myself at times, as im sure the majority of people have.
I would just straight out say to him - You'll always get what youve always got if you always do what youve always done , life isnt going to come up to you and make the changes for you, your the only one with the power to change your life. If he doesnt do it for himself, noones gonna do it for him.
Perhaps try to encourage him to make these changes, point out jobs that are advertised that he would be suitable for, encourage him to go out and meet people with you.

Answer 7

don't worry about the why he is that way; help him change , right now. There are lots of folks like that. the fortunate ones, seriously, become so unhappy that they try something different, anything different. Then that little change builds to a bigger one.
Walk home a different way. Drink a different brand of beer. Do it on the top instead of on the bottom. Go to a different church. Eat an Oreo instead of a fig newton. Just do one thing different, consciously, on purpose. Things will slowly change but they will change.

Answer 8

Well, there is the sociocultural standing that says he's buying into the American mythos that says all you have to do is be famous and it will all come to you, and not work to change.

There is the histrionic personality disorder that might say he is just crying for attention as a drama queen (or king)...

Or it could just be he's lazy- got one of those in my family, too...

Answer 9

Maybe he doesn't like his life, but he cannot be bothered to change it., or maybe he would much rather complain about it and get everyone elses sympathy, rather than actually getting a job etc

Answer 10

he could be depressed, lazy, or any number of things. you could run circles in your mind all day long trying to figure out why he won't change. why, why, why? i have been told that that is called analysis paralysis, and that you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. and that when the fear of staying the same becomes worse than the fear of changing well then that is a good first step.

Answer 11

He's going through depression and you can help him. First, try to get him a good doctor. If he doesn't accept your help, then there's not much you can do. He's got to want to help himself. Meanwhile, be there for him. Try to get him out and active. Good Luck!