I have been in my relationship for 2 years and he has never pleased me sexually. I have told him how I feel many times but nothing never changed do you think its me or he does not have clue what to do about pleasing women. He is 24years old and I am 20 and once before he stated that he never looked at sex like that he just was in it to get his pleasure. What can I do in this situation?
2007-12-26 12:08:15 · 12 answers · asked by aleshabooboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry, but there is a difference in men not knowing what they are doing in the bedroom and not trying at all. Your man sounds like a deadbeat in bed. If he's not even trying to please you in bed why are you sleeping with him!? he has no respect obviously and only wants someone there so he can get off! If he cared about you in the relationship he would at least try, he sounds like an ***!
2007-12-26 12:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by rusty71987 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
here's the honest truth. As much as us guys hate to admit it, we don't really have a good idea of what to do with a girl. Sure we know how to make us feel good. What makes us feel good invariably makes a girl feel good in the process to some level, but most guys are clueless as to exactly what to do to get the best feeling for a girl. The opposite is actually true too. Many girls need tips and guidance to know what makes a guy feel good. That's why communication about sex is so important.
If he's telling you that he's in it for himself and he's unwilling to listen to you, then why are you still with the insecure and selfish prick? Dump him if he's not willing to work and grow with you because the relationship isn't going anywhere anyhow.
If he's just saying that because he feels threatened, you need to approch him in a much less threatening way about it. I personally loved getting coaching lessons from my girlfriend, I just wish most of them weren't so embarrassed so they would have done it more. You're going to need to show him and explain to him what feels good. Guide him verbally and maybe even physically show him. Believe me, it's a complete turn on when a girl starts talking about sex and getting off. Even more so when a girl starts touching herself infront of us and telling us what to do. I personally get more satisfaction out of getting her off than I do by just getting off myself.
When you talk to him about it, explain to him that the better it feels for you the more you're going to want it and when you're doing it, the more you're going to get into it. Invite him into the bedroom when you have the conversation. Put something super sexy on and tell him you want to play a little game with him. Tell him if he wins this game, you'll make sure he gets his reward, if he doesn't win then he wont get anything. Give him the rules that he can only do what you tell him to do, nothing more and nothing less. He's not allowed to stop or switch until you tell him to. Tell him he is allowed to ask honest question, but no complaints. Then you take him step by step with exactly what you want him to do to you.
If he's a good boy and wins the first session, then let him have sex with you. After the first 2 lessons, you may want to ask him if there's something special he would like to with you and use that as a reward. You can also ask him after 2 or 3 sessions to make up a session for you.
2007-12-26 20:25:01 · answer #2 · answered by BrandonM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesn't pick up his game you will get it from someone else! no no no just kidding DO NOT say that. Just let him know that he needs to pay more attention to your needs otherwise YOU see sex as a pointless act.
Maybe go without for a while until he says "why cant we have sex?" you can say "well, if you pay more attention to my needs I will be happy to have sex more often but you need to do more for me sexually to make me WANT to have sex with you".
You are too young to have a lousy sex life. Good Luck!
2007-12-26 20:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by Ben J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has TOLD you he is selfish....and you do not listen. If he is looking at sex just to get his own rocks off, than he is not going to EVER to change sexually.
2007-12-26 20:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by blanquita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationship you share things, this is a sexual relationship....
Communication more during sex, tell him what you like and all that crap, too hungry to type a full answer (don't normally answer this basic so my bad)....
2007-12-26 20:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by Ljuboja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if you've talked about it with him, and he's STILL being selfish in bed then you need to find someone else.
Chances are he's selfish or narcissistic in other area's of his life as well.
2007-12-26 20:13:44 · answer #6 · answered by K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry tell him to get with it or get out ---- it is quite clear he does not care all that much for you --- if he did he would make your pleasure his number one priority --- sorry again best wishes and find someone that truly does care for you (and not just in the bedroom)
2007-12-26 20:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by trader1867 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should show him what you like,dont be afraid to touch yourself or to even guide him.Hope this helps.
2007-12-26 20:13:34 · answer #8 · answered by KIE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him where to touch and how to touch it. Experiment with toy as well
2007-12-26 20:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by CocoGoddess21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show him what you like by doing it to him show him what you want him to do to you and see if that works
2007-12-26 20:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by purplewoman 86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋