The only thing I wanted for christmas this year was a Spa gift certificate. My fiance bought me one last year and I am SOOO stressed right now that is is REALLY what I needed.
Instead my fiance bought me two Swarovski crystal figurines, a butterfly and a rose. I HATE them. I have ranted and raved a million times how much I hate knick knacks and he should have known. I am not a Girly-girl so flowers and butter flies are not my style either.
I know they were expensive, much more than a gift certificate. Should I be upset and how do I ask him to take them back and get what I really wanted?
2007-12-26 11:47:42 · 37 answers · asked by alionesque 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
In addition...the wedding is in April and we are paying for the whole thing so Money is tight "get your own" is out the window. Also he is not the Back rub type and says so often, "it's not his thing"
so that is out too. I did ask him what his inspiration was and his answer was because they were the Sparkliest ones in the store.
2007-12-26 12:16:34 · update #1
No, don't ask him to take them back. But don't put them on display, either. When he asks where they are, say something like, "Oh, I didn't want them out collecting dust. I put them away for my daughter when I have one."
He may take the hint. If he doesn't, they will be worth more as "collectibles" by the time your daughter inherits them.
2007-12-26 11:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I think it would be just fine to thank him for the gifts and the effort he put into them, but ask him if he wouldn't mind if you took them back in exchange for a spa treatment. Tell him again HOW much you enjoyed the last one and that you were really hoping you could enjoy it again this year. You're not a nick-nack person... and a spa treatment could make the both of you much happier.
If he is upset. Drop the subject and buy the treatment yourself. He might have gotten them from his mom or in some way had sentimental value to him.
Maybe you can get one for him on Valentines day... so he'll understand how nice a spa treatment is.
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SINCE MORE DETAILS WERE ADDED... My thoughts: He tried. He failed. No need wasting money on stuff you won't appreciate - mostly since your wedding is so soon. Go ahead and be honest about your feelings - but consider his too while you do it (don't rant on about how you may have thought his gift was so crappy).
You're getting married... you should be able to be open with your husband.
(now... if you didn't like the ring he bought you... I'd say differently - but if he picked the one that sparkled most in the store - I doubt any girl would be unhappy!.)
2007-12-26 12:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woahhh. That was long, lol. My honest opinion. Leave your wife, and try make things work with the ex. She seems worth it. I think you'd get your sexual pleasures sorted and ur head and ur heart by leaving ur wife. You may not want to break a promise u made before god, but I think its best for u to be happy rather than in a dead end marraige for the rest of ur life. The longer you stay with your wife, the more ur letting her fall for you. And theres no need for that at all. Best you get an advice and find your ex. Ive seen so many people lose there ex's and never get them back. You still have a chance take it when you can get it!!! Or you could end up havin mental problems like depression in years. And especially the fact youse made a baby together is such a special connection youse have [ it shouldnt hav happened but it did ] and its obvious that has affected u so u can work through it together perhaps. Enjoy ur life while you got it. The way i look at it - God forbidd! But if ur ex happened to pass away tomarra, you would regret not being able to spend at least another day with her, and its better leaving ur wife than cheating on herr... Let me know what you decide, would love to hear how things go. x
2016-05-26 11:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by madeleine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be absolutely out of the question for you to do so. There is nothing you need so bad as to insult your fiance this way. Are you just a little spoiled? If you want to go to the spa, go, but do not continue your tyrade over something so insignificant. It's only a gift, not a changing experience. Move past it and become a better person who accepts things that are given from the heart.
2007-12-26 12:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why you spolied rotten little brat! What is wrong with you? Did your parents ever teach you to be appreciative? Better yet, did they ever teach you manners?!? I'm sure your fiance went through a lot of trouble trying to pick out something he thought you'd like and you saying you "hate" them would truly hurt his feelings. I think you should grow up. If you want a spa day so badly, buy your own.
EDIT: OK, wait.... I just now saw the part where you said "money is tight". Do you even hear yourself?!? Your justification is making you look worse! Swarovski crystals aren't exactly cheap, honey. Girly-girl or not, you should lovingly accept his gift.
2007-12-27 08:02:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't agree with most of the answers so far. He's your fiance therefore he should know you a bit better than to buy you knick-knacks you've specifically said you don't like. If you pretend you like them you will just end up getting more of them in the future. He probably wasn't listening (I've been there) when you told him what you wanted or what you don't like, so it is partly his fault. Don't act mad, just explain to him that they are very nice, you appreciate his effort but they really aren't you and you'd make much better use of a day at the spa. He may be a little hurt but better he get to know who you really are now than not & you always having to pretend & have a house full of stuff you don't want. Christmas is such a merchant's dream because EVERYBODY buys stuff for people they don't want or need & it rarely gets taken back. Doesn't make it right! Just be gentle.
2007-12-26 12:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by Pogo peeps 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Last year at Christmas, I overheard a woman haughtily tell her friend, "I am NOT waking up on Christmas morning to a .... (ugh!) gift certificate."
Those are my sentiments also.
Your boyfriend may not have made the best choice for you, but at least he made an effort to find something nice. It may not be your style, but he showed good taste.
A gift certificate is nothing more than an exchange of money. It is the last refuge of the incompetent shoppers, the confused, and the people who just can't be bothered looking for something. Think how ridiculous gift certificates are. Image you give your boyfriend a $200 gift certificate to Fry's Electronics, while he gives you a $200 gift certificate to a spa.
What the heck was that? An exchange of prisoners? It's ludicrous to dress up a crass exchange of money under the guise of a gift certificate.
If you don't want the figuringes, thank your boyfriend profusely for his brave attempt to make you happy. Don't hurt his feelings. He obviously made a genuine effort. Suggest you both look for something else... together.
2007-12-26 11:58:09 · answer #7 · answered by pachl@sbcglobal.net 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, that's not okay. Christmas is not just about getting what you want, it's about the thought behind it. He got you a present, even if it wasn't your style, and to get mad at him for it and demand that he buy you something else is rude, selfish, and tasteless. Perhaps you're taking all that stress out on him? Try putting the figurines somewhere that he'll be able to see that you've got them out on display, but where you don't have to look at them too much, and instead of having him buy you a certificate, just share a cup of wine/tea/whatever and have him give you a back rub. You'll destress, and he'll still feel good about his present for you.
2007-12-26 11:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by Lin 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
So, is this relationship of yours about love or about what you get for Christmas? Sounds like he put love into the gift and maybe you should take a little more time to think about why he chose what he did instead of how much you hate it.
You can buy your own spa day.
2007-12-26 12:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Did he just go out and pick up the first thing he saw to give to you or did he put some thought into it and get what He THOUGHT you would like? Personally I would keep the gift and feel it rude to take it back. It is the fact that he thought enought to go out and look for something that he thought you woulld like, whether or not you actually do, that really matters. Gifts arent that important. It is the day to day things that he does that really matter. It is just a present...
2007-12-26 12:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the way you approach it.
It may hurt his feelings;
You could say something such as "I feel like a jackass even asking, but honey, I am so stressed out...I was wondering if you saved the receipts for the crystal figurines you got me.
I would love to take them back for a refund and take myself to the spa to be pampered."
2007-12-26 11:53:00 · answer #11 · answered by lolalolacherrycola 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋