My b/f works extremely odd hours. He is on-call so he is asked to come in at any time as long as he has an 8hr break in between. Well, the situation is i needed his help moving, i don't know many ppl in this city. the one other person that i am close to is a male friend who i am distancing myself from b/c he actually likes me. I ended up moving by myself lifted heavy boxes, to include a 42 in TV. i am deeply hurt that he did not take off work to help me...he should have been there for me. Am i wrong to break up with him????
2007-12-26 11:18:42 · 36 answers · asked by Divine_10 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I couldn't plan it around his schedule b/c he is on-call. he could have taken the day off so he would not be on the on-call list. it was his decision to not think of my moving as important enough for him to take a day off.
2007-12-26 12:18:47 · update #1
Yes don`t be so shallow ,he may not have been able to leave work for you.I can think of worse things to break up a relationship,give him a break!!
2007-12-26 11:22:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are! I am sure that he would have been there for you if he could have been. Work is what makes men (the real men anyway). This is what makes or breaks them. This is something they take very seriously and make priority in their lives....which they should do. It is not like he was choosing not to be there for you. And it is not like he had much of a choice. It was also not something that couldn't wait until he got off work. If you knew he was possibly going to have to work, then you should have planned to move the heavy things when he was off. He could not control having to go in to work. I have moved the entire house alone a few times bc my ex was working. But he was trying to support his family and could not take off. He helped with very few things when he did get off of work. However, he was lazy and would let me move everything alone if he did not have to do it himself. But not many men would let their partner move things like that unless they had no other choice. It would be shallow and selfish of you to break up with him over this. That shows him that you are more concerned about yourself and the things you need and want more so than you are about his needs.
2007-12-26 11:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wrong! You cannot punish him for not taking off from his job. Besides, it was your decision to move so it is your responsibility to take care of it - why should he have to pick up the slack, you could have hired someone to help you. Just think, if it was the other way around, would you have taken off work to help him move, and if you didn't, do you think he would have broken up with you? He probably works really hard and would have helped you if he could.
2007-12-26 11:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by flc1926 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is a pattern, then no. You know your relationship best. If it is rare that he's unhelpful, cut the guy a break. If he routinely puts work before you, then you may want to examine the situation a little more closely and decide if you guys are a good fit. Either way, I wouldn't dump my dude over one incident alone. Broach the subject with him, make your needs known, if that doesn't work, THEN consider pulling the plug.
2007-12-26 11:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by Kris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been together? Frankly, it's not your boyfriend's job to move you, unless you are moving in together. If he had time off, he should have helped, but it sounds like with his schedule- he doesn't have much time to do much of anything.
You should have hired movers. If anything, you might want to consider breaking it off with your boyfriend if he doesn't make time for you when he is off, not because he wouldn't lift some heavy boxes.
2007-12-26 11:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by Meghan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! That would be totally wrong! You knew he had crazy hours when you got with him (well that's what I'm assuming) so you cant hold it against him especially when hes on call! He cant help the job he works and i assure you that if he wasn't working he would probably have been there helping you for sure!
2007-12-26 11:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by KAeKAe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you are wrong to break up with him. He's doing his job, maybe he couldn't get time off. Did you ask him to take time off? You could have hired a moving company, or maybe asked if he could help you find someone to help. You can't rely on your man to do everything.
2007-12-26 11:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by TG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a relationship is all take and no give..he's a loser. I'd of already left him the minute I lifted the first heavy thing! There are hero's out there...lose the zero..there are too many of them around. Maybe he'll learn something about give & take if u kick him to the curb!
2007-12-26 11:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by Carol (Yeah I said it!) G. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hard question to answer but if this was the final straw, and it sounds like it was, then i guess he has put his work before you many times. i do think it is wrong for him not to help you.he could have told his boss he needed the day off and evidently chose not to. is this just your apartment or is he enjoying it after you do all the hard work?if so, i would leave him. you will never change him so dont think that you can. if this is the type of man he is, this is who he is and you deserve better.
2007-12-26 11:26:45 · answer #9 · answered by tigercub1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all congrats on being strong enough to move on your own. with that being said, YES it is wrong to break up with him cause of this.
He was very responsiable by going to work instead of helping you move. if you needed a favor from him then your schedule should revolve around his schedule not the other way around. You were the one asking for a favor AND you expected him to loose work over it? not cool. maybe he should dump you for being selfish
2007-12-26 11:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by military and veteran advocate 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋