My fiancee and I have issues and we work them out. However we have a issuet that is more constant so I am asking for help.The issue: My fiancee wants to get married this year, we have been together for 5 years, engaged for 1 year. We are in college, I am a graduating senior (May 3rd, 2008) and she is a first semester senior, if things go right she will graduate in the Fall. I am moving in May to my new job, but she wants to get married in april of 08'. I want to wait till April 09' to have time to graduate, get my foot in the door of my job, and a reduction of stress. I want to give her a nice quality wedding that will be fun and rememorable. So I am asking how to break it down so she understands without an attitude. I have already told her straight.
2007-12-26 10:55:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Is there a specific reason she wants to rush it? I think if you break down the financial reality of waiting another year it might help. If you were to get married sooner would that affect financial aid in school? Graduating, starting a new job and moving are pretty big changes to go through in a year including marriage so you may want to help her understand what kind of stress that might put on you both.
My guess is you need to figure out what the real motivation for getting married so soon is for. Otherwise if waiting another year means more money to spend on a more lavish wedding that seems to make more sense to me...good luck
2007-12-26 11:01:25 · answer #1 · answered by laaquisha 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Both of you need to make a list of the pos and negs of having a wedding in April '08 and May '09.
IMO, you are the wise one here. It will be less stressful (exams and midterms and what not will be out of the way) to have after you both are done graduating and have a firm grasp of your future. Plus you can really save up for a great wedding!
2007-12-27 14:37:51 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I waited for four years for an engagement and got one in January of 2007. We are getting married in June of 2008. A year has already whizzed by and the next 5.5 months will, too. Patience is a virtue. Maybe let her know how fast time will go. Also, if you guys are to be wed in April of 2008, good luck finding a venue that will have your date available! We reserved ours in April of 2007, and our first choice of a date was ALREADY BOOKED!!! Maybe tell her the realities of rushing a wedding, as well!
2007-12-26 19:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by jessiekarma 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the person. If she's short tempered, you really don't want to say anything that she might take the wrong way. But most women will want the perfect wedding and the perfect marriage with the perfect guy. So tell her, sweetly of course, that once you have that solid job lined up and you have an idea of where you want to live, that marriage would be perfect then: where and when you have a future set out. Hope this helps.
2007-12-26 19:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision you should both make TOGETHER!!! Saying "you told her straight" makes you sound like a complete a**hole. And just go ahead and admit you the reason you want to wait has nothing to do with giving her a quality wedding that is fun and memorable, If you cared about what she wanted, you would be willing to compromise. Pick a time in the middle (like October). Marriage is about compromise for goodness sake, you better start!
2007-12-26 19:07:13 · answer #5 · answered by Medicgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say where you are moving in May, but this tells me that she is worried that you might move away from her emotionally as well as physically. She sounds a little insecure at this time and needs to be reassured somehow that you will be married in 09. Maybe a little more commitment on your part will help, such as setting a date and making some reservations in advance. You sound like a good catch and she knows that. Good Luck - Women need a lot of reassurance.
2007-12-26 19:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by Elizabeth H 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't have time to plan a wedding before April 2008, so it shouldn't be an issue. I don't know of too many places that have spots available only 4 months in advance. You don't want to settle for whatever venue is available. You want to pick a nice venue.
2007-12-26 19:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The stress will not be reduced, in fact it may be more as you will be starting out on a new job and marriage..consider the how much you can handle. Each event takes so much adjustment and time from you.
Go to www.theknot.com and have her build her dream wedding on their site. Now, can you afford that now,or would it be better to wait?
2007-12-26 21:54:27 · answer #8 · answered by robert g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Question - has the planning process already begun? If not, unless she wants to get seriously stressed out since you're basically talking four months away, she's going to be in for a rude awakening.
2007-12-26 20:33:28 · answer #9 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to let you get the job first so you can out beat her sister's wedding dress. Girl's have a competition about that. It's secretive though .hehe.
2007-12-26 19:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋