He didn't touch her, but he did offer pot before. Not the first time, last time offered alcohol to see her boobs. We have been blissfully married for 2 yrs, together for 9. I found this out 3 days before Christmas and now I hate the very sight of him. He denies it, says it was a joke. My daughter doesn't believe that and is currently with her big brother about an hour away while school is out for the holidays.
Do I HAVE TO get marriage counseling before filing divorce or is this enough to end it now? He is trying to act like it's no big deal but we are all horrified by this. I'm so upset, I just want him to leave but I don't think he will - if I call the cops and tell them what he did will they arrest him?
Somebody please help me.
God bless.
2007-12-26 10:16:21 · 20 answers · asked by despondent in TX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's moving out tonight. Still insists it was a joke - if that is true then why don't I believe him?? Why can't I forgive him??
I'll be so relieved when he's gone.
2007-12-27 06:27:37 · update #1
This could be a deal breaker. This is a mother's worst nightmare.
Keep her away from him. I do nor care if he is her bio dad.
2007-12-26 10:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by heartsarebad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think You Need you Daughter there as a "witness" as far as the Poilice go. But Maybe you can go to the Police Station and File a Report. I would Definitley Report Him !!! If your Daughter felt Insecure Enough to Leave, then something is Wrong, and Your Husband is a Sick Man !!! Leave Him !! Kick Him out !!! And don't EVER go back !! No Matter How Much he tries to "sweet talk you" . He's obviously got Issues way bigger than you can help him with. And I seriously Doubt this is His 1st time trying something like that, w/ someone young !! You only Thought you were Blissfully Married. Sorry you had to find out what kind of perv. he is through your daughter. At least she Had Wits enough to Tell You!! Don't send her Any "signals" that His behavior is Acceptable!!! Make Him Leave !!! Good Luck !!!
2007-12-26 10:43:35 · answer #2 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre going to need your daughters testimony or agree to tell the authorities if you callthem for her as she is a minor or else he could deny everything. No parent should ever offer their children pot for any reason or should be turned over to the police if they do. This may not stop with just your daughter and could blow up out of control and your family doesnt need this. No you do not need marriage counseling to file if this is the way you want to go. If the police find enough evidence that she has been violated they should arrest him, but if a father has the courage to ask his own daughter to do this,the who else is he capable of approaching? get together and notify the authorities. Good luck
2007-12-26 10:31:48 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the authorities will arrest him. But, would that be such a bad thing? Sometimes, when something like this happens it's a way for him to finally realize "it is a big deal".......And he could get the help that he needs......Such a therapy and counseling.....
But, you could also open a 'can of worms' if he is arrested and doesn't get the help he needs. He might hold all of this over you and against you,,,,,causing problems later on.
Suggest to him he get help with therapy and counseling,,,,and if he doesn't, you leave immediately. Your daughter does not need to be around this type of person. Do not hesitate handling this situation right now. It shouldn't be 'swept under the carpet' and hope all changes.....
Good luck and God Bless you..............
2007-12-26 10:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by Susan M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ooo boy get rid of that pervert! I would think that the judge would terminate the marriage without further questions.
That is a terrible example to set for your daughter and a shame that she had to experience it. I would feel humiliated if I were you AND her. Hopefully she didn't tell anyone at school. I'm sure if a counselor found out he would be in jail!
Maybe she should tell someone and then that's an easy way out for both of you!
2007-12-26 10:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by sarah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave at once no matter how difficult it is!!!!! You will never be able to live with yourself if you (AND YOUR DAUGHTER) spend another night under the same roof with him. Find a real home for you and your daughter before she gets back. This is not a marriage counseling situation, this is a restraint order situation! Your self respect will make you strong.
2007-12-26 10:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by hfrankmann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If only I knew then what I know now. Your first duty is to protect your daughter. Call the police. Call child protective services. Get out. Do whatever you need to do to prevent further contact or further incidents. Pedophilia is a sickness that is rarely cured. It is child abuse. He is in denial, which is to be expected. You can't expect him to protect your daughter, that's your job. It may be the hardest thing you've ever had to do, mom. But it's your job to protect your daughter.
2007-12-26 10:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"We have been blissfully married for 2yrs," obviously not. The only way to find out what the police will do is to call them...however your daughther needs to be present because she would be the one accusing him of the charges, all you have is "hearsay" and the police can't do much based upon that.
2007-12-26 11:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of that marraige-you don't need counseling and he should be arrested-sorry for you this must hurt horribly!Call the police and have him removed!and you MUST stick to your guns to protect your daughter!
2007-12-26 13:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok he is not her Father. Just your husband. Did you know that he drank or used alcohol before you put him into her life?
Children are not here by accident. It is your responsibility to protect her. Next time choose your children over a man.
Do not worry if he goes to jail.
It is time to handle your business and protect your kid(s).
You no longer need to be someone's woman...It's time to grow up and be somone's MOTHER.
2007-12-26 10:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by Queen ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋