My husband was in Iraq for a year so I lived with my parents and my little girl every other week. Well now my husband has been home for 4 months and my ex husband has been saying my daughter has been acting up since my husband has been home. My current husband and I have noticed a difference but nothing too terrible. I mean she is 5 yeasr old and pushing buttons. Well my ex wants her to start going to counceling because he thinks there is something wrong with her. Like I said she is generally a pretty good girl when we have her, she is happy and playful loves to take baths and look pretty like any little girl. We do have a problem getting her to eat and fall asleep but that is about it. She tells me everytime I pick her up that she wants to stay with me forever.
Her dad is blaming me and my new husband for her problems and says he is going to get down tothe bottom of it. I guess what I am looking for is some kind of advice on how to deal with this.
2007-12-26 09:30:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If you all are not misstreating her, than I don't see what there is to "deal" with.
5 year olds are sassy and are at a weird point becasue they want to do grown up things and don't want to be treated like babies anymore, but yet they are still too young.
I would say, let him blame whomever he wants to blame...if you all aren't doing anything wrong, then why the worry?
2007-12-26 10:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iif he's willing to foot the bill for the counseling, then I can't see how it would hurt anything, right? If there's nothing wrong, then, if you have a good, fair, sensible counselor, and if you treat it like it's no big deal when talking to your daughter, then nothing will come of it, anyway.
If there is something that she's having a hard time articulating or dealing with - maybe some loyalty issues between the two men in her life, perhaps? - then, having a counselor help her communicate these issues now (and point them out to all of you along with ideas for working them out) would be a good thing, right?
2007-12-26 10:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and done with my daughter and my husband was gone for first 8 months to Iraq and then one year to Iraq also(Ft. Stewart 3rd ID). My daughter did act up a bit, got where she wouldn't listen to me and only her daddy. She was really testing her boundaries. That is VERY NORMAL with deployments. Sounds like the ex is trying to stir things up. The only thing I can tell you is that ex needs to tell you exactly what she is doing that is wrong, then you being the mother of her can figure out if it is major or not. If any thing (and I'm being serious) if your hubby is active duty or even not, get the information from the FRG or his commander that will tell you what is common and normal behaviour for children when their parents(or stepparents) return home from deployment. For active duty we have these classes ALWAYS before a return from deployment! Good Luck..from one military family to the next ...
2007-12-26 09:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your ex need to get on the same page and talk (and then talk to the little girl). Exactly what is she doing at his house that is considered acting up? Of course, there would be some behavioral change with your husband gone all that time and now he's home. Perhaps all you need is a united front on discipline to stop the misbehavior.
2007-12-26 09:36:01 · answer #4 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your Ex is just trying to stir up problems. It might just take a while for her to re-adjust to your husband being back. She might be scared that he will be sent off again. Kids aren't stupid. I'm sure she knows that there is a chance that he might not come back if he is sent again. Sit her down and ask her if she is worried about something. Tell her it is ok, but that you want to help her.
2007-12-26 09:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it has anything to do with any of the parents, she's 5 yrs old she's gonna try her luck like you say yourself, your ex needs to understand that its not how you have been bringing her up its her age, blimey wait until she is 13, then she will push her luck all kids do , i know i did, its just her age, tell him ( your ex) to read up on behaviour in 5yr olds as i think he will find she is just being normal at her age!
2007-12-26 09:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by sally c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like "Hot Potato."
Take that little girl and yourselves to counselling. If she is acting out the COUNSELLOR can get to it. If she is terribly sad because her daddy was gone and a new one is in place. Maybe she is upset that there is such turmoil in her life.
If she is not eating and not sleeping, what is she doing well? Watching TV? Playing with "my little pony"? She gets an "a " in bathing?
If YOU take that little child to counselling you can be sitting there with her listeining and learning. If he does, you will be given second hand info.
Even YOU are confusing ex and husband.
This is a tragedy. Get counselling now-for all of you.She might be the scape-goat for your problems.
2007-12-26 09:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your daughter's reaction to her stepdad's return is pretty normal for a child. They really don't understand the long separation and feel abandoned.
2007-12-26 09:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by Fernella13 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she scared and acts up because of it.
P.S. she probably sees that there are two parents that do not get along well.
2007-12-26 09:41:19 · answer #9 · answered by Theol J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋