Why do people act like being a stay home Mom is not allot of work?

Question

I have worked both outside the home and staying home and taking care of my family has been the hardest job yet, what about you?

I don't think being a working Mom makes you less of a Mom but as far as money goes if you have small children and have to pay for daycare that gets pretty costly so in a way unless the working Mom makes alot of money it really does not bring home an extra income!

Answer 1

I'm a stay at home mom, and I have been for almost a year already (wow, hard to believe!). I did, however, work full time outside of the home (as a nurse) until my daughter was 18 months old. I personally (this is my personal opinion), do think that being a stay at home mom is a LOT easier, at least for me. When I was working full time, I would get up at 3:45 a.m., take a quick shower, grab a fast breakfast, get my daughter up at 4:15 a.m., dress her, feed her, rush to pack her diaper bag and get out the door by 4:45, rush to the daycare to drop her off by 5:15, rush to work, clock in at 5:45 a.m., bust my butt at work all day constantly running around and doing 1001 things while getting yelled at by doctors, putting up with lazy, jerky co-workers, imposible supervisors, crabby patients, then at 6:00 p.m., clock out, rush to the daycare to pick my daughter up by 6:30, rush home, change clothes, rush to make supper, do the dishes, clean the house, do laundry, run errands, do yard work, do any other of the 999 things that need to be done around a home in a day and then spend 30 minutes of completely uninterrupted, non rushing, totally devoted to her time with my daughter before she went to bed, then I would finish up whatever needed to be done around the house, then collapse in bed exhausted at around 11:00 p.m., only to have to wake up 4 hours later and do the whole hellish routine over again. Fwew! Makes me cringe just to think about that again - lol!

Now that I'm a stay at home mom though, I love it! For me, it is so relaxed and I can set my own schedule, work at my own pace (within reason), don't have to put up with crabby customers or patients, pick up the slack from annoying co workers, deal with a ton of paper work or meet imposible deadlines, and I am no longer confined within 4 brick walls as I was when I was working. A typical day for me staying at home is this: I get up between 4:45 and 5:30 a.m., start some laundry, make myself a cup of tea and plan out my day, have breakfast and read the newspaper (if one of my kids aren't up early that is). My kids usually wake up around 7:30 a.m., so I get them up and dressed make and feed them breakfast. During the morning we play, read, and learn (my daughter is 2 and she's learning her colors, letters, and animals and animal sounds), while she's having her playtime, I finish up laundry and straighten up the house. at 11:30 I make lunch and then feed the kids. After lunch, we run errands if we have any to run, or go outside to play or to the park (which is only 4 blocks away) if the weather is nice, or to playgroup. At 3:00, the kids take their naps which allows me an hour or two of "me" time, during which I catch up on a project that I have been working on, finish cleaning if needed, do gardening or yard work, or anything else that needs to be done around the house. At 5:00, I start supper while the kids are playing (right now my daughter is all about "helping" me cook... lol!), and when my husband gets home, usually around 6:30 or so, I set the table, serve supper and then clean up the supper mess and do the dishes. My husband and I then have playtime with the kids until their bedtime (which is at 8:00), one or two nights a week we have a movie night during this time with the kids (kid movies of course), during which we make popcorn and hot chocolate. At 8:00 p.m., we give the kids baths, have story time, and tuck them into bed. I then straighten up the house one more time before we go to bed and then my husband and I then have 2 hours of time to ourselves before we go to sleep.
My day as a stay at home mom is sooooooooooo much more relaxed than it was when I was working full time. I love it and wouldn't trade it. I mean, as a stay at home mom I'm always busy too and I really only sit down when I first get up in the morning during my breakfast time or when the kids take a nap, or when we're having story time or doing our learning times, but I can set my own pace at what I'm doing and I don't have to be in a rush to do anything and I'm always done with all of my work around the house before supper (except for supper itself and dishes). I love it and wouldn't trade it for the ratrace of working full time again. I definitely think that being a stay at home is a lot easier and definitely not as stressful! As a stay at home mom who used to be a full time working mom, that's my opinion anyways!



Edit: It's interesting what you say about the money thing - it's absolutely true! One of the reasons that I am staying home is because without the cost of daycare, the extra gas mileage, meal expenses, office dues, ect, we are actually bringing in anywhere from $200 to $400 MORE a month than we were when I was working full time and paying for daycare, extra gas, food expenses, office dues, ect.! Crazy stuff, huh?

Answer 2

Anyone who thinks being a stay-at-home Mom isnt a lot of work obviously are not or have not been stay-at-home Moms! I was a stay-at-home Mom with my daughter for the 1st year of her life - went back to work after she turned a year old and I find work to be far less work then staying at home taking care of a child or children. When I was a stay at home Mom, there were days were I literally didnt sit down all day. I never knew it would be such hard work. Even while my daughter was napping, there was always so much housework to do. I find life to be far less stressful with me being back at work and my daughter in daycare. I very much miss spending my time at home with her, but I like working and I like the structured environment daycare gives her. For all you stay at home Moms out there - You have my respect!

Answer 3

People think that sahm's don't have hard work because they don't know what being a good mom is and how much work a little one actually takes. I work full time and would love to be able to be a stay at home mom and that's why I'm going to school while working full time and being a full time mommy so that this next year I can work from home and be a better mommy to my little girl! I know that people who see me as a mom say that I don't know what hard work is....I ask them simply are you a chauffer, seamstress, launder, cook, dishwasher, live in Nanny, wife/worker and still maintaine your sanitY? Because I do all that a more and am not in the insane assylum yet!
Momma_Bear

Answer 4

I have never felt that being a SAHM isn't work, though I can say that for me, it has been tougher being a working mom, as I have been a SAHM before.

The only true issue that I can see with choosing to be a SAHM is that it may leave a couple open to some very serious money issues. If a father truely makes good money and can support his family in a decent lifestyle and still have money left over to save for those unexpected expenses that always seem to come up at the worst possible times, then I think that is great. But I truely don't think alot of women who make this choice understand the risks that can come with trying to make it on one income. Either they have not yet had to experience any major unexpected expenses or they have fooled themselves into believing it won't happen to them. I have had to deal with those unexpected expenses first hand. Water leaks, a hot water heater that went out, the motor on the family car going out. We didn't have the money to pay for these things, and had no choice but to get a credit card to charge them on. And we are still paying off the charges.

Even being a working mom, and us having two incomes, we have found that sometimes things happen that you don't expect and you have to come up with the money. My husband just missed a day of work today because his truck broke down and it is going to cost us over $1700 to repair it. It is going to be hard for us to come up with that, and I can't imagine paying for the repair if I didn't work and it was just my husbands income.

Being a SAHM is hard work, but sometimes the work and stress that comes along with that is by the womans own choice. Trying to stretch one income to cover everything can be very difficult and stressful, and a woman doesn't have to try to do that if she would respect that the choice for a mother to work outside the home DOES NOT make her any less a loving mother than anyone else and it makes her just as hard working as any other mother.

Edit: I don't know if the addition you made was meant for me, however, what I get paid compaired to the $50 to $60 a week I pay for daycare, it certainly makes sense financially for me to work. But then again, that is just me. Other women might not make as much, or have to pay more for daycare, and it wouldn't be worth it. I lucked out and got a friends mother to watch my daughter, that is why I don't have to pay much.

Answer 5

I think many are ignorant of how much work is truly involved.

And when all the trials and tribulations of child rearing and the day to day up keep of the home is done well, it usually appears as though the wasn't all that much to have done. In essence you probably make "look easy" because you (hopefully) do it well.

Tell 'em to watch the movie Mr. Mom, it's from the the 80's but still funny and proves a point.

Some peoples minds may never be changed, maybe because they equate the value and difficulty of their work with the amount of money they are paid.

Answer 6

I have done both too, and I am currently working part time outside my home.

My experience that it is sooooo much harder to hold down a job outside the home, and then have to go home, and do all the work there, too, which is pretty much the case of many mothers that work outside the home.

Given the choice, I would much rather just be a stay at home mother.

Answer 7

I'm a work-at-home mom and I try to clean and keep up the house when I'm not working and a lot of family doesn't get why my house isn't always perfect. It's a lot of work (I currently have a part-time job out of the house but plan on returning to working at home full time very soon).

Answer 8

as a stay at home mom I have noticed that I don't get the respect I would if I worked outside the home. When in realioty my job is 24/7, and although the benefits are great I really don't get cash for buying stuff for myself. I don't get paychecks. I spend my day cleaning the same stuff I cleaned yesterday and it never stops.... I've heard family make comments before that have offended me even if they didn't men to. People assume you are rich if you stay home and truth is we do without a lot to make it work.....

Answer 9

I was a stay at home mom for 3yrs and did not find it hard at all. If a person is organized, disciplines the child so that they know how to listen/behave and so forth its not a huge deal. I kept my house spotless, took my son to playgrounds, libraries, museums,speech therapy, specialists for health issues and took care of other children on a regular basis and still had to find things to do to fill my time. I found it the easiest job in the world of course I'm also a homebody who could go days with out seeing other people so I'm sure that figures into it.

Answer 10

While being a stay at home mom is a lot of work I think that being a working mom is be a heck of a lot harder. That's just my opinion. To me working moms have to deal with not only a job but everything else stay at home moms have do--cook, clean, do laundry, spend time with the kids, and deal with any guilt they might have for working. I couldn't be a working mom! I like to be able to schedule my day the way I want it. I like to know that if my child wants to play in his own room--it's okay because I have all day to spend with him. I like knowing that I have all day to do laundry if I need it or organize my home. While it is hard--I can only imagine how hectic it would be if I had to do all of this plus work 9-5 but maybe that's just me.

Answer 11

As a Mom who cannot stay home. . . it isn't that it isn't a lot of work. However, everything that you do during the day - we still have to do when we get home at night from work such as cook, clean, laundry, homework, etc. - but with a smaller timeframe to get it all done.

I honestly think it is easier to go to work and leave your baby with a daycare . . . have your baby at night - feed baby, bath baby and put baby to bed and then "enjoy" the baby on the weekends with fieldtrips and stuff.

We are just jealous that we can't stay home... my house looks like crap and I put a lot of pressure on my kids to be independent & help out. . .

I am not only a full-time working mother...i am also a single mother.