I have been married 2 x's..and yes I have found the 3rd,finally..but he has never been married,he wants a wedding,I have already done that twice,and don't feel right about it,ok the first was a real wedding,the 2nd it was just him and I,like at the JOP,out of respect for him,should I have another wedding,or not..go ahead and do your criticizing,I don't care,I just want honest,true answers.
2007-12-26 08:54:49 · 13 answers · asked by dimples1221 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm NOT asking him not to want a wedding,yes he wants one,but I feel almost dirty or something for going down the aisle,since I've been married twice.I would very much love to do this with him,but how would our families see this???..put yourself in my shoes..please!
2007-12-26 09:01:05 · update #1
thanks to all of you,except the negative ones..great ideas,and interesting points,of course we will have a wedding,just needed to feel right about it..so thank you!!! and yes..he's the one!!!
2007-12-26 09:10:06 · update #2
Of course you should have one. It is a new beginning, can you do it in a church a second time? i'm not sure, but you can have a nice wedding with a JOP. do not deny him the joy of a wedding since he is never been married and you enjoy - third time is a charm - YES have a wedding, you have finally found the one!!! don't worry about negative energy. BE HAPPY!!! good luck and happy new year.
2007-12-26 09:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by phantom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand your dilemma. Could you some how comprise? A couple ideas that I have are:
Yes, have a wedding, but have it small. Maybe parents, siblings, and a couple close friends. Say 30 people? I’m not sure how big your families are.
If not maybe let him invite whomever he wants from his side, but only invite your immediate family and a close friend or two? It doesn’t sound like the ceremony part is a big deal to you; you just want to make it official.
Another option would be for you and him to tie the knot at the court house or a Jamaica type place, but have the reception later. Say a picnic?
Find what parts of the whole wedding thing are important to him and work from there.
I am sure you know by know there needs to be a lot of comprise in marriage, sounds like you two are getting into that right off the bat.
Good Luck.
2007-12-26 09:11:50 · answer #2 · answered by dmbmkm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can find a middle ground- perhaps have a big celebration but no aisle, or walk down it together. I am sure there are ways you can meet his expectations without compromising your feelings. Sit down and find out what he wants, what is important to him and what isn't- and then tell him the things that you're not comfortable with. If you love each other enough to get married, I'm sure you can find a way to meet in the middle and have a great day that you will both enjoy and remember.
2007-12-26 09:15:04 · answer #3 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. There is nothing wrong with having another wedding.
What I would do, however, would be to have something small, intimate and elegant! Choose whatever style, length, color of dress you want. Have him in a tux. Maybe have 1 attendant each and a flower girl/ring bearer if you want.
I would invite close family and friends only....keeping it to about 50 people (or less.) Have a nice dinner reception after with great food, drinks and beautiful centerpieces.
I would have beautiful flowers and elegant invitations (not overdone....just simple and elegant looking).
Just do things elegantly and it will be perfect! Have fun!
2007-12-26 11:31:40 · answer #4 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Destination wedding? The people who love you will want to be there and the rest of them can talk their talk on their own dime. Destination weddings are not a "less than" kind of thing either so you will be honoring your FH's wishes and making amazing memories for a lifetime.
It was a beautiful tropical island where we..... is such a better story than we schlepped off to the courthouse...
2007-12-26 10:42:09 · answer #5 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what feels right to you
If you want to celebrate it in the big way and you can afford it? Do it
Or get married by a Judge in a Reception Hall then party there with your family and friends
(just dont wear a white wedding gown with a veil)
people WILL snicker behind your back
2007-12-26 09:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go the whole "white wedding, horse and carriage" route but a nice, intimate, "off-white" wedding would be fine. If it's important to him and you're ok with it, go for it. And, enjoy!
2007-12-26 09:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by SueBee 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love eachother- celebrate it! Don't think of this as your third wedding- if you plan to be together for a lifetime, MAKE THIS YOUR ONLY Congratulations :)
2007-12-26 09:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by ninthnarnian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can compromise...go to Vegas or anywhere in Nevada...you can also get married in the Smoky Mountains....there are a variety of ways to satisfy this obstacle....be creative..get married on the beach....in the forest....on a boat....whatever you do it will be both of your special day...one to be remembered forever...good luck...
2007-12-26 09:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you talk with him about this?? I think it's fair to give him his wedding,,, he feels as if he is only gonna do this 1 time,, marriage is about compromise,,, please do the right thing,,,
give him his dream wedding,,
have fun,,, and good luck
2007-12-26 09:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by pumkin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋