I've been seeing a guy for 2 months. The first month was great - we saw each other a couple of times a week and had lots of fun. Then, he had a little freakout moment and wanted to "think things over" and "slow down", so we cut back to seeing each other once a week. He was stressed and overwhelmed with the holidays and dating someone for the first time in 3 years. (I know!) But kept calling me every couple of days.
We went to each other's company Christmas parties last week, but I haven't heard from him since Thursday. Not so much as a quick phone call or even a "Merry Christmas" text message. I'm so upset! What are guys thinking this time of year?
I'm afraid he'll call after the holidays and suggest we get together. It'll be hard for me to act like everything is okay. Should I hear him out, if/when he calls again? He hasn't said anything about New Year's and I already have other plans.
2007-12-26 07:36:55 · 10 answers · asked by monicanena 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He hasn't had a girlfriend in 3 years and he isn't seeing anyone else.
2007-12-26 07:48:48 · update #1
I've just been through something similar, but it has gone on for almost a year. Some guys seem to start a relationship, have a great time, develop feelings for you, then they panic. Maybe they get scared, feel it won't work out, or are thinking about past hurts and relationship failures. It is really hard to say why they suddenly put the brakes on a good thing. Christmas is an especially stressful time, and he may have had family obligations, or had qualms about the expectation of a gift etc.
Honestly, you should go on with your previous plans, if he does call, tell him you would love to go out (except NY eve). When you do go, ask how his Christmas was and casually say..."I knew you must have been busy or you would have called." Let him take it from there.
2007-12-26 07:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you have been seeing him for two months but you don't know what you can call that relationship.Have you guys been going out as platonic friends or as a couple. If your answer is as a couple, how do you know that. You know where I'm headed , don't you? This was a guy who kept changing the dynamics of your relationship for which you're blaming all guys rather than yourself or the guy specifically.Although you complain that he has not called since Thursday, you have made plans already for New year( real fast , don't you think).You have not indicated anywhere in your piece any romantic interest in this guy or love for him. Yes, I know you said that you you have been seeing him for a couple of weeks.This is where I think you need to start. First understand in your own mind what type of relationship you want with him, convey that to him the next time he calls ( or better yet, call him.you are also guilty of not calling him or send x-mas greetings),then assuming you are both on the same page, start afresh to build a new and better romance. Remember, it takes two to tango just as it takes two to have a relationship.Good luck.
2007-12-26 17:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it seems to me that you are beginning to like him and would like to date him. You have to keep in mind that 3 years is a very long time for a relationship and it's obviously very hard for him to just let go and start a new relationship when he really hasn't had a chance to put closure on his previous relationship. It's also possible that he is afraid to trust someone else because of how his previous relationship turned out. Just talk to him about this. Find out what he wants. If he wants more time then be there for him.Be supportive and let him know you care and are there for him.But the key here is to communicate. If he hasn't call you then you call him, get together and talk about this. Figure out what you both want and then go from there. Good luck
2007-12-26 15:59:04 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have your life, and he's obviously not ready for you to be in his. Dude has serious issues that are NOT yours to battle.
Keep your plans for NYE. Meet people. Go on some dates. If he wants to go out and have some fun, do it! But only if it doesn't interfere with **your** life.
Are you dating? Yes. Are you in anything resembling a relationship? Not even a little. He's not ready for that, but it's not your fault. Remember, you can be dating several people at a time, but you can only be in one relationship at a time.
2007-12-26 15:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by Torin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's waiting for you to call him! Try calling him. If he seems happy to hear from you and asks you on a date, then i think you should confront him. If he mutters something about having to go or doesnt pick up at all, forget about him. it sounds like maybe hes not ready for a relationship after all.
2007-12-26 15:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by fexii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u called him and he doesnt call u bk then something is wrong and if he ignores u then somethins wrong too. usually when guys act like this they are not over their ex or they think u r moving too fast. but if he calls u after the hollidays and pretands everythin is allright talk to him and if he doesnt want to talk to u dont c him again
2007-12-26 15:43:39 · answer #6 · answered by xoxo <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how would he react if he saw this??
it all depends on if hes a good person, if he has faults and you regretting things between you both then act now...just talk to him bout whats happened and how you feel, they may be an rational explanation=]
good luck xxxx
2007-12-26 15:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lovee. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could have called him. Maybe he is thinking the same thing as you.
2007-12-26 15:41:05 · answer #8 · answered by Gonzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys are going out but he's justacting all wierd
2007-12-26 15:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by Mary T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have no interest in dating you but i wouldn't mind a "what"
2007-12-26 15:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋