I've fallen for my best friend...?

Question

When I first met this girl I didnt think anything of her, we were just friends. Our friendship developed and I began to have mixed feelings about her. I was convinced I was straight at the time so I couldnt possible like her. Weeks past and I was on edge, I needed to tell someone so I decided to confront her with it. When I told her I liked her she said I like you too (She's bi anyway). We were "something" for about a day and then she changed her mind. I was really shattered. We carried on as if nothing had happened until one day she randomly asked me for a kiss so I gave her what we both wanted.Later on she told me she liked me again which made my feelings for her alot stronger. She then let me down...again. My heart was broken. She told me many times her head was screwed up (she has therapy) and I didnt care, All I wanted was her. This vicious circle continued, my heart was being broken over and over again so I asked her for the last time, do you want me, ever?

She replied with a single "no" and that was it for me, it was finished, we wern't going to happen. I decided to start fresh. Find new people. When she saw I was happy she'd hit on me again, knowing I'd come running back, which I always did. When she knew she had me, she'd let me down by saying she didnt want me, she was turning straight or she'd found someone else. I'm inlove with my best friend, I'm not attracted to anyone else and I just feel like I'm stuck in a pit. Should I wait for her to get "her head sorted" by this therapist guy or just move on completely? Both of which will be so hard to cope with. =[

I was up till 4:00am in the morning talking to her on the phone yesterday and I told her I'm inlove with her. She started crying down the phone and couldnt understand why anyone would love her. This morning, it was like that conversation never happened until she rang me and told me the person she did like didnt like her - a guy twice her age (we're 15).

I had a good mind to tell her to f*** off.

Answer 1

I am sorry that you were treated this way. Listen, there is nothing at all wrong with you. The problem is her all the way.
Unfortunately we cannot change people, and what you need to do is to completely distance yourself from her. Don't call, email or talk about her to anyone ever again.
There is nothing us normal folk can do here....except realize that you most likely dodged a bullet. Good luck.

Answer 2

In matters of the heart, I always feel for the wounded heart and it appears that your heart has been repeatedly broken. However, it is also clear that you are a party to this sadistic process of breaking your heart.You seem to have a complete understanding of the game she is playing and how you help her in the process; you also seem to know what you have to do.The question is if you will have the self love and will power to do what you already know you have to do.While I agree that we can not choose who we fall in love with, we most certainly can do something about how we are treated. In spite of this girl's apparent emotional and/or mental problems, it is clear she does not love you, wants to be with you,but loves the control and power she has over you. The vicious cycle(an apt description) has to end and only you can end it .No matter how much you may think that you can not let go, your own health depends on it. Get some help from friends, family or professionals---it does not matter which you choose---but please cut this woman from your life once and for all. If I can help you in the process, don't hesitate to let me know.Wish you the best and good luck.

Answer 3

I think you need to ask yourself if you will ever have a future with this person? Do you really think she will ever feel the same way about you as you do for her? It seems to me, that you are the one who always end up getting hurt . I think you need to decide once and for all. I mean seriously, do you think if she truly cared about you she would keep on putting you through the similar situation over and over again. I think it's time you make a decision and stand by it. You need to stop doing that to yourself. I would suggest, you talk to her one last time. Just ask her if you guys will ever have a chance? If the answer is a straight no then that's it. You need to move on and deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. Just go and talk her one last time and discuss your feelings and based on that decide what you think is best for you. Good luck and I hope you find this somewhat helpful.

Answer 4

Falling in love is one thing. Falling in love with your best friend is a form of being in love that is the strongest I have ever felt. Having such a deep connection on that many levels is incredible. It also causes us to overlook things, and turn a blind eye to things we might not otherwise, because the connection as friends came first.

She is not only trashing your love for her, but she is not being a friend either. I wish I could give you the reason why, but the truth is only she can, and she may not even know herself.

It's time for you to move on. I know that sounds hard, and trite, but ti's the truth. She either cannot, or will not love you in the way you deserve to be loved.

You need to pull yourself away to begin to heal. Healing will take some time but it will happen. It will only happen once you turn away from her. This means when she tells you whatever it is she says to pull you back in, you have to resist. Remind yourself how it ends every time.

I know she is in therapy, but honey, she could go the rest of her life and never change the way she treats you. Anyone that can love as deep as you have has to be an incredible person who is capable of amazing things. Take the knowledge and life lesson or lessons you have learned, and walk away for good.

Answer 5

No one can answer this question but you. She may never know what she really wants. It sounds to me like you are her safety net. You are always there when she falls and she likes that but she is also being selfish by not letting you be happy. There is a good chance that she will never let you be happy. I know it hurts because I have been there before with plenty of guys. Doesn't matter what sex the person you are dating is love still hurts. The question is how long will continue to let someone hurt you before they ruin it for someone who will love you.

Answer 6

by the sounds of it you need to move on this girl is just messing with your head she doesnt know what she wants and you waiting around for her is making her think she can just use you and thats not fair on you because while shes doing that your getting more confused your young u've got so much time for all this show her you can have fun with or with out her put your foot down and tell her you dont want anything to do with her till shes sorted her self out it'll be hard but at least u'll know where u stand!

Answer 7

I would set it straight with her..Tell her how much you like her..And tell her that you're not going to sit around and wait for her forever..She needs to make her mind up..If she liked you then she wouldn't be playing you like that..Just talk to her and ask her about how she does feel for you..And if she thinks that you two do have a chance..It might or might not be meant to be..Good Luck though..It sounds like you really like this girl..I hope she stops playing you.. :-)

Answer 8

No, you should leave her alone. She will keep hurting you, and you don't need that. The next time she comes after you, tell her you're not interested and be strong. She is confused. She sounds like she is having problems accepting her sexuality.

Answer 9

Move on, many more women out there that don't have these sociopathic tendencies...you will be happy once you actually DO move on.

Answer 10

she is really thowing you around.i would move on because she isnt gonna change. just find someone new and leave her alone.