My mother in law just says things I dont like?

Question

ok here it is. I have been with my husband for 13 yrs married 8 dated 5 and to this day his mother I think really does not like me, she really likes his first wife. Just the other day she said in a room full of people (with me there) that his first wife will always be her daughter in law and my husband said nothing and when I brought it to his attn. that I did not like it he got mad and told me that I was being childish and taking what she says personal. Now just last yr we gave her a b-day dinner and she brought the ex wives mother to my house as her guest and once again when I told my husband that she should not have done that he told me I needed to get over it and stop being childish. Now she has a relationship with the ex and I dont have a problem with that but do u think she has to broadcast it in my face!!! Oh did I mention that the ex wifes pictures are all around her house and my wedding pic is under her and my husbands pic... help

well I know I cant control her feelings and dont care about the relationship I mean its ok cuz the ex wife is actually a nice woman and she is cool. I have been involved with her because they have a daughter together.. ( she is 21 now) I just dont need her to keep letting me know that.

Answer 1

Your husband is a wimp. Now you know why he has an ex. He doesn't care how you feel. To avoid dealing with this he tells you that you are being childish.
I would stay away from her. I would also ask your wimp of a husband why you are being called childish and not his mother. Also tell him to go over to his mothers house and get his balls out of her purse because he looks like a woman without them.

Answer 2

We are all 'built' different , so whatever I say here is just a gut feeling, there is likely a train of thought that would suggest you have a private word with with this in law and talk it over with her.
Sorry I cant do that.
I would split now, tell your unfeeling husband his mother is an ***, you want no more to do with her.
Keep away from the stupid bit*h.
If she eventually sees the error of her ways give it another go until the next time.
I wouldnt make a very good councillor would I ?
As for your husband words fail me, although a few do come to mind .
Sort it out woman , you are the wife assert your position or just curl up in a corner and accept all this cr*p.
It is down to you.

Answer 3

1. Your husband needs to be more supportive of you.

2. Your MIL is pulling all sorts of very childish stuff on you. You are reacting, so that is fueling the fire and encouraging her. The other thing is that you are not standing up to her directly, which is also encouraging her.

Next time she pipes up with something about prefering the ex, you need to pipe up (calmly and confidently) and state that you are sorry, but you are not going anywhere, that he ex is his EX for very good reasons, and that nothing she can say or do is going to change those facts.

Answer 4

Was he married to his first wife when you met him? Sounds like it. I have an idea. Tell his mother what you think instead of nagging at your husband. He can't shut her up any easier than he could shut you up, I'm guessing? You want to run something? You had better be able to back it up. Throw her out if you don't like who she brings to your house. And the same story goes for her. She can put any photo of anyone, any place she wants to. Don't like it? Too bad. It's her house. I feel so sorry for your husband. Two stubborn mouthy women in his life and he has to listen to both of you. Yeah you know she runs her mouth about you just the same way. Give the man a break and either shut up or take care of business. He shouldn't have to listen to either of you but the world revolves around each of you doesn't it?

Answer 5

I would sit and really talk it out with your husband and if he still says you were being childish...ask him how he feels when his mother does this and how he would feel if the situation was reversed...if that still doesnt work i'd say go straight to the source...talk to his mother...find out why she treats you the way she does and tell her how you feel...dont yell or get into it or anything...just talk it out...maybe she just doesnt know how much it hurts you and if she doesnt like you there has to be a reason for it...

Answer 6

Honey, You have no control over her feelings or actions. That she is inconsiderate towards you is tacky. However, you can show yourself to have more graciousness and class, by just going forward with you life. In the future, you do not have to do special events for her...only give your time and energy where you choose to do it....and if you do it, do it without strings or expectations...I'm not sure why she invited the woman...perhaps they are close friends...perhaps to have someone to gossips about you with...who knows...if I felt this way, I wouldn't spend my time and energy giving her a B day party. Your husband doesn't seem to validate, recognize, or care about your feelings...are you over-reacting or is he a jerk? You need to evaluate this objectively so you can ascertain the truth of the situation...I'm not sure which...either way, I would set my boundary to protect myself against his mother...

Answer 7

I think your mother in law is taking it to the extreme. She needs to get over the ex wife thing, because she's not the WIFE. Second, your husband needs to man up and say something to his mother. He shouldn't let your mom belittle you like that. That's rude.

If it was me, I'de be going off. I'de tell him that he needs to tell his mom to stop throwing the ex in my face and in his. Tell her to get over it. You can't be friends with your ex and she needs to stop bringing people assoiciated with your ex over OUR house.

She can do what she wants in her house, but not where I live at. That's disrespectful.

:)

Answer 8

Tell hubby to: dump the pix of the ex, put Mommy straight, and start standing up for you, or you will leave him if he doesn't. When he doesn't, do leave. Next time, marry a man, rather than a Mommas' Boy.

Answer 9

Girl forget what your husband thinks next Time she puts you on spotlight like that cuss her A** out and tell her to get out your house and if your husband has a prob with that tell him if he would have talked to her you would not have had to go that far

Answer 10

first change out the pictures, and mail them back to his MAMA, the just do not mention things to him, although they are hurtful to you, is is more hurtful that he does not understand, if you are in a situation again with them get a headache, real or imagined and if he ask you why just say the situation makes me ill. maybe he will come around, but if he does not you have to make sure you life is as comfortable as possible,.