he seems controlling and bout to move in what to do?

Question

I use to be with this guy 9 year's ago I am now 26. he found me on my space a year ago. we live in two different cities he started visiting me once a month on the weekends. We became serious even though this it is a long distance relationship I began to have feelings for him all over again. I have 2 kids he has 3. I am now 7 months pregnant with his baby .He is moving to where I am at in two weeks. But now he wants to know where I am at what time I will be home if it's not the time he want to hear he tell me to be home at a certain time I do not go no where but by my fam no matter what he can always reach me. He don't want no one calling the house at a certain time in the morning are at night he seem to have controlling ways I am now starting to realize it . what should I do I love him but I am not use to being told what to do it's has always been me in my kids for 7 year's. and I can not raise a baby by myself no help from family when I start working.don't make enough for a sitter.

Answer 1

You have put yourself in a very bad spot. If it was me, I would not let him move in. He is too controlling. You can raise a baby by yourself, you can make him pay support, you can get state assistance. I would tell him to forget it, get an attorney and move forward without him. Good luck.

Answer 2

my dear friend i am talking to you as a friend be cuz i have been there in my first marriage i was time wheni left the house and when i wasnt back at a certain time he would accused me of being with another person, when i would dressed up for him he would still acussed meof going to see someone one else
i have learned that most men love to controll the woman like we have no brains to functiion and you need not let him come back for he will only get worst no matter if he says he will change please dont belive it for it will only get worst i am talking to you as an woman who has been there
for not having funds to raise your chidren there is help out there if you work dhs will provide care care for you
i ahve raised my kids without any family help and you can do the same and u dont need him back and i would seek childsupport him him u may asking yourself how do i know it is cuz i have been there
my dear friend he is a control freak and i feel it would be a mistake to take him back just read what you wrote and tell me is that what you want

Answer 3

There are ways to get help from the state and dont ever be with a man just because you are scared to do it on your own. If he is controlling now it will only get worse once he moves in. This is a sign of an abusive person. Please be careful, not only for yourself but your children. You can do it yourself if that is what you want. Be strong.

Answer 4

Are you allowing him to move in because he'll be paying the rent? I see you said that he's moving in vs. marrying you. That speaks volumes. He wants all the benefits of a committed relationship from you without reciprocating (in terms of the mutual respect).

Do you really want someone to boss you around like you're child for financial reasons? Look in to coop sitters in the neighborhood. Get child support from the father of your children and shut men out of you life until you get some counseling to get your life in control.

(BTW-if you do decide to commit to this abusive individual and he decides he's tired of you; you'll be out financially anyway; cut your losses while you can and take control of your life--if not for yourself, at least for your children. They deserve your best; you are not setting a good example for them by enduring an abusive relationship for finances. You've got to love yourself first!)

Answer 5

This really sounds like the standard recipe for abuse.

In abusive relationships, it usually starts with the man separating the woman from her support systems (family, friends, church, car, job, etc,) then beginning with the smaller put-downs, then into verbal abuse, then it goes into physical abuse. After each beating there is a make-up honeymoon, then the subsequent beatings get worse and worse in intensity until she either bolts in fear of losing her own life or winds up in a hospital bed.

You need to keep your bank accounts separate from his, and keep track of how he treats you. Do not let him separate you from your support system. The first time he hits you, you need to grab your kids and get out... AND FILE CHARGES.

Answer 6

be a baby sitter, find out what the state requires to sit at home for just post an ad at the supermarket or at church, - people always need a sitter, get Medicaid for your child and, get CPR certified and stay home with your child and leave that crazy person alone.

Answer 7

I'm not around your age and have never been in your shoes.So my best advice would be to stay strong and don't allow him to have that type of control over you. Be clear and firm in telling him that you will NOT submitt to him wanting to keep tabs on you. You are your own person and have been doing just dandy for 7 years and you are not about to accomidate to his insecurities, please stick with your guns. You are doing the best you can. ☺Take care. Bye. =)

Answer 8

You do not need a potentially abusive relationship, regardless of whether or not you think you can or can't do it. You shouldn't put your children through that kind of relationship, even if you can't do it. Think of your children, what happens if he takes his hostility to a new level, what happens when he decides that it's his job to discipline your kids. You need to get out of this relationship, it's not healthy.

Answer 9

sit him down and have a chat. tell him that you love that he is concerned about you, but needing to know your whereabouts at all times seems like he is trying to control you.

gauge how he reacts. if he realizes the error of his ways and improves immediately, there is hope for him. if he doesn't understand that his behaviour is unacceptable, then you need to GET OUT of that relationship for the health and well being of yourself and your children.

Answer 10

You think hes controlling now. Move in with him and see what happens.