i am super close to this guy; he is one of my best friends. i am not attracted to him as more than a friend, and he's not either.... we just aren't like that. we are seriously JUST good friends. but he likes this girl, and for some reason, im not too sure why, i just really, really dont want them to work out... she's a nice girl, but i just dont want her to interfere with our closeness or be jealous of he and i and make him stop talking to me or hanging out with me as much... or for him to become closer to her and drift from me... i know its selfish, but i want to stay his best girl friend whether or not he's got a girlfriend. i dont want to date him only because it might screw over our relationship if we ever broke up.... what should i do? i know my question isnt too clear, but... try?? thanks!!!! =]]
2007-12-26 06:26:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you've been a surrogate girlfriend, even though there wasn't any sex involved, and he's been your surrogate boyfriend. Him having a relationship is going to change that closeness. You will lose exclusivity with him.
The clue is that you say you don't want him as a boyfriend, because "it might screw over our relationship". In other words, there is a part of you that wants that with him, but having him in your life as a friend seems like the best option because you expect that a full-on relationship, should it end, would end all the benefits you have with him as a best friend.
Really, you need to come to terms with this. You cannot have the guy in a limbo state, with you as a non-sexual surrogate girlfriend. He wants a relationship, he's found someone, and you need to accept it. Just like he would have to if it was you meeting someone you liked enough to risk having a relationship with.
He'll still be your friend. You'll adjust and so will he. Remember that. Good luck x
2007-12-26 06:41:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. If you are really HIS friend then let him get whatever girlfriend he wants, and support him. That´s what friends are for.
2. If he gets a girlfriend he will FOR SURE drift away a bit. Maybe not permanently, but a little bit. Think of it this way: he would be kissing, touching and soon enough having sex with this chick, while with you... Well, your are just his friend, right?
3. Why to be such a closed minded person? Who are you trying to fool here? Us? Me? Well, you are not doing it hon! If you are SO jealous of this girl it´s because you DO feel something for this so called friend! My girlfriend used to be my best friend for a long time, and even we both knew we were falling one for another, we refused to try it because we were afraid it would ruin our friendship. Now we are having like one of our most amazing relationships ever, and don´t regret of trying it out because it actually worked, so, think clear and see if this is what you two should be working on!!!
2007-12-26 06:38:05 · answer #2 · answered by Yabran Tariga 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you really have a major crush on him. Why not take the risk of finding out how he feels about you. If he honestly just wants to be friends, then at least you know where you stand and can begin to move forward. Maybe you will still be friends maybe you won’t, but you shouldn’t let the unknown and fear hold you back from something that might truly be worth while and healthy for you. Test the waters and see how it goes.
2007-12-26 06:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by nightwing7011 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kristen, Since he is your friend talk with him about this he probobly feels the same ! Two people, even a guy and a girl can be just friends. If she did not want this then perhaps he would end it ! A good friend is more valuable than a lover. Friends have a better chance at lasting forever than lovers do ! That is many married couples downfall they stop being best friends !!!
2007-12-26 06:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but its going to happen. Eventually hes going to get a GF and start hanging out with her more. So prepare yourself. You night ruin something special for thinking too much.
Whats wrong if you guys get into a relationship? They don't always NOT work out you know? How do you know if won't be something good. You have to be willing to take risks or you'll live in regret. Stop thinking so much and do what you want.
How do you know it won't work out and you guys cans till be great friends?
What about think positive instead of negative?
Hope I helped, good luck.
xxxxxxxxxxx
2007-12-26 06:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
. . . . sounds to me like you want him to just be THERE just for you . . . . . its not that you like him but you think that hes a really good friend & an opposite gender kinda friend is hard to find ( & it is from personal experience ). . . . . . honestly if you do interfere in some way, then youll just be selfish & are not really looking forward towards his own benefit . . . . . i mean how would you feel if he interfered with a guy you liked/were interested in? . . . . . . just let him live his life & im sure if you really got along good with him, then everything will work it self out . . . . .
gl & peace!
2007-12-26 06:32:42 · answer #6 · answered by =_èP1ç_= 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kristen, just talk to your friend about it. You don't have to talk to him specifically about this new girl , but in general. Tell him how much you enjoy his friendship and how much it means to you and that you hope that if either one of you gets involved with someone, that you will always find time for one another. Chances are that he feels the same way. Get to know his "girl" and let her see that you are just friends. Who knows, maybe you will end up with another great friend.
2007-12-26 06:35:41 · answer #7 · answered by trouble 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ought to do something constructive for your self like a pitcher of your sought after drink, good chocolates, and a constructive bubble tub. additionally, attempt calling a pal and seeing how they're. now and lower back you in simple terms would desire to pay attention somebody else's problems to earnings extra perspective on your very own. have faith me in this one, i've got been feeling an identical way cuz I in simple terms broke up w/ bf at the instant and that i've got self assurance like total crap. the different day i desperate to sponsor an orphan through fact i found out that i mandatory to quit wallowing in my very own self pity and spot how others stay . i'm sorry for what your dealing with and in case you would be able to desire to communicate in simple terms digital mail me. Take care!
2016-11-25 01:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to decide if your friendship is more important than risking a more serious relationship. It looks like you really value your friendship, but that also means you must try to wean away. You can't interfere with his dating other girls unless you want to date him too.
2007-12-26 06:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being very selfish. If he's attracted to a girl then you shouldn't interfere. If you interfere you may lose him as a friend anyway.
2007-12-26 06:32:56 · answer #10 · answered by pinky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋