Iv'e just had a new step-mum and I really hate her. Should I tell my dad or would it just cause an arguement???
2007-12-26 06:09:47 · 11 answers · asked by Myles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It will probably cause an argument. I'm sure your stepmom didn't want you hating her when she started the relationship with your dad. Try to like her.
2007-12-26 06:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be really hard at first to get along with a new "parent", i am a stepdad to 4 great kids but for about the first 12 mths the eldest hated me, i have different values and standards to their real dad...not better,nor worse, just different and it takes alot of getting used to. Your stepmom probably finds it really hard as well. I think you should tell your dad about any issues that you have real problems with but at the same time try and find some common ground with the new "mom", you may find you have something you both enjoy doing and work on building your relationship from there. Its also worth remembering that your dad is probably in love with this woman and no-one wants to hear bad things about the person they love so you have to be a little diplomatic when you speak to him if you simply blurt out "i hate her" its likely to leave you as the bad guy. Whatever happens it will probably take a bit of time but she may not turn out to be the horrid person you first thought she was, best of luck
2007-12-26 15:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by luke s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is your dad's wife. You know you will lose any argument with her, and you know your dad will take her side. You only go to your dad when you really need an arbitrator. Do not go into blamer mode... instead, ask what you can do to make something work for the both of you.
You need to at least treat her more like a coworker... someone you are forced to get along with. Stuff your own feelings, be cordial and polite, and pitch in to help.
Hold up your own end of things so you don't get in trouble... clean up after yourself, do whatever chores you are asked to do, and do your schoolwork right.
Chances are, you can parlay this situation into a windfall... you can ask for more money to go to the movies with friends because they will want to spend more time together. You can also ask for cooperation from your step-mom because she will certainly resort to bribery to keep the peace.
Learn to play the game.
2007-12-26 14:26:58 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really dislike my stepmom too. I kept my emotions inside for a long time (4 years) and about two months ago, I finally let my dad know how I feel. I told him that I didn't like her and that she said some things to me that were really hurtful. He told me to give it some time and maybe I will like her...but I don't think I will ever be able to because she's just not a person I am comfortable being around. But talking with my dad made it a whole lot easier because now he knows how I feel, even though he wishes I did like my stepmom. Anyway...I think it is really important that you talk to your dad about how you feel. Don't say that you HATE her, but maybe say that you don't like her and tell him WHY...but try not to hurt your dad's feelings. If she is just recently your new stepmom..could it maybe just be that she is now your dad's wife? Thats how it was for me for a while-but then I realized shes not such a great person anyway. But definetly talk to your dad and give it some time. You might find out that she is an ok person. If it turns out that you don't get along well with her, then thats ok too...but I have learned that no matter how much I dislike my stepmom, I have to be respectful to her for my dad's sake.
Good Luck : )
2007-12-26 14:29:39 · answer #4 · answered by jenn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get along with her. You could talk to your dad to help work out any problems you and the new step-mom have, but not to complain about her. Changes in your life can be hard, but try to make the best of it. You might end up being really close with her if you give it a chance. Good luck.
2007-12-26 14:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by Pam H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the big question should be, Is your dad happy? if he is then u probably dont want to ruin that for him. take your time with the step-momster, relationships and trust don't form overnight. try doing something to bond with her and if it still doesn't work then it might be time for a polite, open-minded discussion with your dad. keep in mind that its gonna be hard for him, considering this is something between his child and his wife.
2007-12-26 14:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by *PeAcHy* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing if you want your Dad to continue to be happy with you. Help the relationship along. Don' YOU cause confusion that you'll regret!
2007-12-26 14:15:09 · answer #7 · answered by BadBill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You now have a stepmom and you can't change this fact.It would be best to accept her now.Try to be good with her and she will be good with you too.It is must also be as difficult for her to accept you as you are not her own son.Try to make her feel at ease and she'll love you for it.
2007-12-26 14:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by awesome girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know what ur step mother must ave done 2 u but in any case i feel u should try and understand her. know what she likes and what she doesnt like but if u still cant cope with her i feel u should tell ur father but do that in a matured manner.
2007-12-26 14:20:11 · answer #9 · answered by dolphin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it would just cause an argument.
No, you shouldn't say anything.
Just be polite to her.
You're father isn't going to divorce his wife because you don't like her.
2007-12-26 18:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋