My sister's kids are in 6th and 4th grade. They really wanted iPods for xmas, and my sister is a single parent with not a lot of $, so I bought them iPod nanos, thinking they'd really like them. They did not say "thanks" and the 6th grader berated me for not giving it to her before xmas, so she would have had something to do in the car on the way to my house.
Next they went skating on the pond in my backyard, tracked snow all over the house, sat their sopping wet selves down on my new leather furniture and removed the DVD my hubby and I were watching from the DVD player because they wanted to watch something else. I asked them to either change clothes or sit on the floor so they didn't ruin my furniture, they just talk back to me, it turned to an argument.
After that, I find my nephew putting my boots on to go back outside. I insisted he wear his own boots, he insisted on wearing mine! More arguing. Should I lighten up, or am I right in thinking they are so disrespectful to me?
2007-12-26 05:51:09 · 82 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
My sister was with us, she doesn't ever say anything.
2007-12-26 06:06:57 · update #1
After a few hours with them, it turns very awkward. I am firm with them, they yell back at me, and my mother and my sister (their mother) just sit there. My mom makes excuses for their bad behavior, and my sister almost acts like I'm being unreasonable. My husband really tries with these two but gets exhausted and retreats to a quiet room to read and get away from them. They are my only niece and nephew, it was xmas, so I wanted things to be nice but I really have a hard time with these kids. Really, really have a hard time.
2007-12-26 06:19:41 · update #2
They are the rude ones. Not you.
You have all the right to make them behave properly on your house. After all, it's your house! Do not invite them anymore to your house. Your sister needs to teach her kids some manners.
2007-12-26 06:06:51 · answer #1 · answered by carlosdavid 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
They are being rude, selfish and bratty kids...period. It's YOUR house...YOUR rules...
You didn't have to get them a gift....they are being spoiled and insulting...
I would tell their mother about it...let her know they are not allowed back into your house until they can behave like civilized human beings...and if they are not able to do that, they can forget coming over until they are...
Stand your ground...do what YOU think it right..and tell the little brats that their behavior is COMPLETELY unacceptable and WILL NOT be tolerated in your home..
period...end of story.
I do not tolerate rudeness from ANYONE especially children...
You will NOT come into my home and take over...it is NOT your right nor do I have to put up with it...
You were a LOT nicer that I would have been...
Stand up for what you feel is right...DO NOT let these kids run all over you....they are certainly old enough to know better...
2007-12-26 05:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by Toots 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That behavior would not fly with me. Not from my nieces or nephews or even from my own kids talking that way to my brothers and sisters. What did your sister say? Being a single mom is very hard (so is being a married one for that matter), but I can only guess that she is so tired and exhausted with those two that it easier to give in then kick butt, so they think that type of behavior is ok. Next time I would tell them they have to leave. Make them call their dad or your parents and act like they are coming to pick them up. Either that or don't get them anything anymore until they can show respect and appreciation for what they have, which sounds like a pretty good aunt to me.
2007-12-26 05:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are totally right!! What little brats (no offense to you or your sister) but they have to respect you and your sister. They are old enough to know what to do! I would punish them for all the back talk and take away anything they complain about. Their mother doesn't have that much money and she is a single parent, WHAT DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT! Now I would not let this go any further and I would start punishing them....tell your sister more about the disrespect! They shpuld be gald of what they have! Best of Luck! :)
2007-12-26 05:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by someonespecial;) 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Where is your sister when all this is going on? Just be glad they don't come over that often. Either way, you tell your sister if they can't keep the house clean and at least "act" like good children, then they have the get the %#@$ out of your house. It's your house, don't let anyone think they can come into it and take over, even a child.
2007-12-26 05:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have all the right in the world to be angry. It is your house after all. But what I want to know is: Is your sister there as well? If so, why isn't she doing something about it? I think it is time that you talk to your sister and tell her to take some action, otherwise they will remain rude and disrespectful. You are not their mother, so it is not your job to look after them. Your sister needs to open her eyes.
By the way: Bless you for being so giving and buying those children something they really wanted. I commend you for being so sincere.
2007-12-26 05:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by Lizira 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not rude.It is your house and your rules apply. That is a simple accepted truth.
Now here's something to maybe think about - maybe you already have thought about this:
Single moms need LOTS of help. Boy and girl. Wow auntie and uncle have their hands full. Maybe you can help give sis the support she needs with these two. Maybe the three adults could sit down and work out a cohesive plan that all three of you will stick to with them.
Firm but loving consistent behavior will turn the corner for these two in about 6 wks. I've seen this happen before in my family and with my friends' families and even in school (I volunteer). Six weeks of consistent behavior from interacting adults has alot of impact. But the three of you must agree, and that takes time and planning and discussion and writing it down on paper so you can refer to it.
This may not be what you want to do.
It's nice of you to be kind to them and extra compassionate over Christmas.
Single parenting is harder than ever these days.
Holding you all in love and peace.
2007-12-26 06:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When they complained and berated you for your generosity, you should have said something along the lines of never displeasing them with gifts again.
No, they are rude.
You have the right to be firm, and not allow them to destroy your stuff, interrupt the movie you're watching, or any of the rest of it.
Maybe next year, let your sister know that, since her children don't enjoy Christmas with you, it would be best for them to have their own Christmas at home.
You and your sister can exchange gifts before or after the Day.
2007-12-26 09:47:45 · answer #8 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if these kids have a bad case of "spoiled bratitis!"
Sounds as if they need some real discipline in their life, but you won't be the one to do it, you aren't with them enough.
Your sister should get a handle on her kids and make them behave better when in someone else's home.
Sounds like your hubby has the right idea when they are around.
Sorry your Christmas was ruined trying to discipline them, while your sis and mom just ignore the problem.
2007-12-26 06:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by Janice Dickinsons' Shrink 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not rude! They need a time out and if they are not listening to you then take your presents back till they behave! You really shouldn't have to argue with them! When u say something they should listen! Counting it down seems to work with my friends kids for now they always listen b4 it gets to 1. They are young and probably full of love and joy and stuff but don't let them walk over u cause u don't want to see them in those teens years!!!!
2007-12-26 06:07:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely right! If my aunt got me an iPod I would say thank you right away and my parents taught me to be even more resepectful to my family members than other people.
They may act like that because of the whole family situation, and I suggest sitting them down and like reaaallly telling them whats what, you know? They are probably just too comfortable with you because you are there aunt but you are not being harsh at all.
2007-12-26 05:55:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋