How come this is acceptable?

Question

I understand married/taken men check out other women, but why can't they control it when their signifcant other is around? Why are women OK with a guy glancing at other women when you're with your man? Can't guys control that at least? I just think it's disrespectful.
I know if I'm with a guy I'm into, I control how much I look at hot guys because I wouldn't want him to feel insecure. I don't mean to sound

By the way I believe the followng (common) answers have no merit and I would like to see different answers besides these:
- it's in men's nature
- women do it too
- all men look (yeah, well why can't they look when their girl ISN'T around?!)
- a guy can have the best meal at the restaurant but still look at the menu
- "oh, i'm fine with it because it's ME he's going home with"
etc.

Women, why are you ok with this?
Men, why do you do it *in front of* your girlfriend/wife?


It just seems like men are never satisfied with what they've got.

I'm not trying to be demanding and insecure. I have self esteem issues but I don't appreciate the mean comments -- especially when you don't even know me.
I happen to be a very nice person who has been badly hurt many times. Please don't pass judgement.

And I don't mean to generalize. Not all men are bad, I know that.

Answer 1

I think men do it cause society has allowed them to think its okay but ITS NOT OKAY TO DISRISPECT WOMEN THAT WAY. All men are not the same, my man has never ever done that to me he understands that we women can do the same thing and look and make our men feel insecure, disrespected. When your in a relationship you should be able to talk to your partner and tell him that it bothers you and not to do it anymore.

Answer 2

We do it because we are pigs, we always want something new fresh, and it is in our nature!

Is it disgusting ? yes it is
disrespectful ? of course

But since we are with that said person we tend to not appreciate them much anymore, because they are always around and what not. I do not agree with this but it happens more often than not.

A true gentleman (like the old movies) will not oggle at other women in front of his woman, it's just a show of respect I agree with you.

What you have to do is no accept it.
If it makes you feel like crap and I'm sure it does you tell him once , twice 3 times, if he really cares he will stop it.

If not then it shows he doesn't care you feel like crap everytime.

Then it's your choice to try and find someone better or more understanding.

Sure you may say : I can't leave the relationship of 2 years for this!
Then you will have to accept it.

And that is the problem the women that take it, it's because they don't want to leave the guy.

Seriously leaving is not a bad option, a man that really loves you would make you feel like the queen!

I am that guy too i do that too, and my girl doesn't leave or give me an ultimatum, hence I don't see a reason to stop saying comments about other girls.
You have to stand your ground and make it clear to him!

Answer 3

Well here's the thing. You are lumping all men and all women together as if they are all the same. But the fact is, its human nature to notice things of beauty as it is the same with noticing things that are not so beautiful. I think that as long as we men and women are just noticing beauty and not lusting after them then what truly is the problem. What brought your significant other to you must have been what he found beauty in. Just because we notice other things of beauty does not mean we do not find beauty in the person we are with. You can not go through life with blinders on for if you did you will miss a lot of what this world has to offer. There is beauty and ugly in all forms so don't get offended about one with out being offended by the other. Would you get upset if he noticed something or someone that was ugly. I would think not. Like I said as long as its looking and not lusting whats the problem.

Answer 4

Men are just built for visual stimuli, it is the same if they walk by a TV when sports are on, most men will look at the game to get the score. It has nothing to do with who they are with it is a built in impulse, it happens like a reflex, I have caught myself many times and I can assure you I don't mean any disrespect to anyone I'm with. Women only seem to notice when men look at other women but ignore it when it is sports cars, big trucks, Jet aircraft, motorcycles, football, Baseball, Beer.........as you can see other women are a very small distraction!

Answer 5

All the reasons you listed as having "no merit" are EXACTLY the reason people admire other people of the opposite sex.

Please don't take this personally, but it has been my experience that women who get upset over their man simply LOOKING at another woman have either control issues, or low self-esteem.

There is nothing wrong with admiring a hot guy or girl if they do it in a tactful way. If your guy is being rude about it, ("Damn! Look at her knockers! I'd like to eff her!" etc,) then yeah, you have every right to be PO'd. But if you're just catching him "looking", try not to be so sensitive and cut him a little slack. :)

Answer 6

Simple answer, its not like we think about it. We dont sit up at night and plan it out, it just happens that way. And as far as starring well thats where the disrespect comes in and sometimes we just get lost in our sights, it doesnt mean we want them, some men just like to see pretty women. Its like light decorations on a house, just bc its there it doesnt mean you have to look but some how it always seems to catch the eye. Or the garnish on a dish, no one eats the little green stuff but its there to be seen. How bout you blind fold your hubby while you are out in public, that mght work.

Answer 7

It seems like you are insecure and self centered and demanding way too much attention. Be careful, that sort of behavior will eventually drive a man away. An adult doesn't worry about her man noticing a pretty woman, or anything else that may be pretty, she is secure in her knowledge that he loves her and her alone. Suggest that you need to do a great deal of maturing.

Answer 8

I think that the answer to this question is based on you as an individual. If your partner is doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable you should definitely address it with him. If you feel uncomfortable with addressing the issue with your mate than you should re-evaluate your relationship.

Answer 9

I too think its just disrespectful.I am a guy and I would never do that if I am out with my girl.I would rather compliment on her looks instead of checking out other women.

Answer 10

I understand that it may be 'natural' for a guy to look around, but you are most certainly right about them controlling it around their wife or gf. My ex was very blatant about that, and I couldn't stand it. It was so embarassing, and made me feel like a moron for being with him.