no gift for my husband from his family this year. would you be upset?

Question

my husband is always there to help his family whenever they ask or fall down on hard times. here's a short list of what my husband did to help his parents. he took off from work to take his mom to surgery while we sat there all day long waiting for her to get out and we sat with her when she got to her room. he helped her move heavy furniture from out of her storage unit to a very small basement in the house. he picks up the check when we all go out to eat. helped his mom move. he went over and carried many heavy 50 lb bags of sands and dug up their backyard to level out a family swimming pool and the list goes on and on and on and on. i'm very upset with his family because he goes out of his way to help them and yet they got his sister and her kids presents well over $400 worth of presents and all they do is live there sucking up all their money. his sister never helped with all of the things that he has helped with, she just sits there and keeps having babies.

it's not about him helping them out to get presents in the end. it's about the thought and the appreciation of what he does for them. i saw none.

no, i didn't tell him how i felt and he didn't tell me he feels this way. i just feel as tho he does so much for them and expects nothing in return and yet they show no appreciation.

Answer 1

So is your husband upset too or is it just you? I guess his family is pretty selfish...

Answer 2

Do not be too upset cause its really not ur place, its his family, he has to deal with them. I have seen in many relationships where one spouse would get upset at their spouse's family and that only made things worse. Cause the truth is though one might know their family are mean but they don't want to hear that from another person especially their spouse, they get defensive so don't go there. All u should do is be proud that ur husband is a good man and son. Tell him that when he seems to be sad or affected by his family, smile at him and tell him he should be proud that he is a good son and husband and leave it at that. Be supportive of his good qualities despite the fact that his family are inconsiderate and just be there for him, do not hold no ill will towards his family thats his family and he does care for them... so don't make urself the enemy just be proud of ur husband and pity his family for being so dumb...

Answer 3

Well, helping one's parents is a good thing.

Taking your mother for her surgery, moving heavy things, ..., these are all reasonable things for an adult child to do for his parents.

Try not to resent the situation, that will just cause family strife and create problems for your husband.

Yes, it would be nice if they'd show some appreciation, but it's his decision whether to help them, despite their lack of gratitude.

Answer 4

He knows what his family is about, and it is up to him if he continues to help them around the house. You don't help people because you think they will get you a present, You do it because you love them. You have a very nice husband, appreciate him, because it doesn't sound like his family does. He will get fed up one day.

Answer 5

i have 4 kids and only 1 got me a gift. i'm not crying about it.

maybe his mom raised a man and not a boy and by doing this she raised a good man who is there to do "heavey work". maybe your sis in-law can't lift 50 lb bags either.

he'll more than likely receive more in the will than his sis too.

Answer 6

You don't give expecting a gift in return, it's wonderful of him to do these great things for his family but, when you do them expecting a return you are sure to be disappointed.