What are the steps I should take? I have two years, but need to figure out who pays for what, etc.
Also, since the proposal was private, should I have an announcement party or just send letters?
I have sooooo many questions.
2007-12-26 04:19:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My fiance has no idea what to do.
2007-12-26 04:30:58 · update #1
First is the announcement. You should definitely call your parents, close relatives and friends to break the news to them. The closer they are to you, the sooner and more personal the news should be. Then comes the engagement party, usually the bride's parents organizes it, but nowadays, many people don't go by tradition, they just do what makes them feel the most comfortable. In this case, either your parents, or your fiance's parents, or even just you and your fiance can organize an engagement party.
The engagement party is usually a dinner or a luncheon where you formally announce and celebrate your engagement with people who are close to you. This should usually include you and your fiance's immediate family members as well as those people who will be in your bridal party (bridesmaids and groomsmen).
Usually your choice of bridesmaids/groomsmen should be made before the engagement party, but some people choose to do it after the engagement party.
Being so far ahead of your wedding date (two years you say), you don't need to do anything as of yet. The best thing right now is for you to decide on a budget and then go from there to the guest list. Depending on where you live, reception dinner prices for a wedding can range from $50-150 per person. So research the places where you live and find out how much it's going to cost you.
Use this extra time you have to get ideas of where/what/who you want to use for your wedding.Start researching venues for your ceremony and reception. Start researching DJs/bands and what you and your fiance would like at your wedding. This also goes for your wedding dress. This early ahead, you have the advantage of doing a lot of browsing and framing a basic idea of what you want.
When the year mark comes, that's when you need to start finalizing the guest list and possibly send out a save-the-date. You should send out the save-the-date around 6months prior to the wedding date. Although there are no real time limits (I've seen weddings planned within 6 weeks!), it's always good to be ahead. And then you need to register for gifts, either at a department store or at your favorite home/furnishing store (you need to do this before you send out the invites). As for the invites, send them out once you have settled on a date/time/place for the wedding.
Here's a list of things you need to take care of/rent/hire: ceremony site, reception site, wedding dress, groom's tux, bridesmaid/groomsmen dresses and tuxes, florist, cake, caterer, officiant, transportation (or you can hire a planner to help you through it all).
Make sure you have at least one fitting for your wedding dress as well as your bridesmaid dresses 2-3 weeks before your wedding. This will make sure that everything fit in case anyone has lost/gained weight. Make sure to also call your florist/caterer/cake/officiant 1 week prior to the event to confirm that whatever you ordered/arranged is ready.
As for who pays for what. Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding. But nowadays, people do what suits them best. Some people share the expenses between the brides and groom's family (for example, his family pays for all the food and decoration, your family pays for all the rental fees). Or what I see a lot now, because people are getting married at an older age, the bride and the groom will pay for everything themselves.
2007-12-26 06:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Miss MW 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you can either buy a wedding planning book or go to a free website, like theknot.com. If you have a little extra money and want to throw an engagement party, you can do that. Just send out invites and buy the food and drinks. Or you can call people. All I had to do was tell my mom and by the end of the day my whole family knew.
As far as who pays for what, each of you should ask your parents this individually so they will not feel awkward. I don't think anyone follows the whole "bride's family gets reception, groom's family gets rehearsal dinner" thing any more. What may work better for them is to just give you a set amount, and what you do with it is up to you.
Next thing, is come up with a rough draft guest list. You can't really find a place or book anything till you know how many people are coming. Some reception spots only seat 100 or 150, which won't do you any good if you want to invite 300 people.
Have fun and congrats!
2007-12-26 04:41:24 · answer #2 · answered by Allison L 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get an account at theknot.com- they have great checklists and lots of articles that will answer your questions. They also have a vendor section for all of the metro areas around the country, which can be very helpful.
Don't worry about doing anything formal to announce the engagement- that kind of news spreads fast. You can have an announcement in the local paper, if you wish- but that's all you really need to do. You shouldn't throw yourself an engagement party, that is something that should be hosted in your honor by someone else (like a shower). It's really not necessary, though.
2007-12-26 04:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Have an engagement party. The first thing you need to do is set the date. Then make a rough guest list of people you know for sure will be invited then make a budget. Then you sit down with all the parents and determine who will pay for what and who can afford what. Make sure that you also know if you want a big or small wedding. Simple, extravagant. That will help with the foundation. Congrats
2007-12-26 06:12:48 · answer #4 · answered by shavon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay away from the announcement party or letters. Everyone will find out eventually. Keep it simple. Engagement parties are okay....but I know I feel annoyed to give a gift for the engagement party, then the bridal shower...I would rather just give a nice gift at the shower and a nice check at the wedding. I tend to cheap out on the bridal shower and wedding gift if there was an engagement party.
Even tho you have 2 yrs...it goes fast and most places are booked 2 yrs in advance. You need to start with the big stuff now. You're right to find out who is paying for what. My mom was a single parent so my husbands parents paid for the wedding, my mom did the rehersal dinner and a small party between the ceremony and the reception and we paid for everything else. I knew from the beginning what was what!!
2007-12-26 04:30:28 · answer #5 · answered by mrsdeli 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
We just called everyone we knew.
As far as who pays for what...that's something you should discuss with those who will be paying. We're paying for most of our's ourselves and others have offered to help in various ways...i.e., my mom and grandmother are insisting on paying for the catering, fiance's mom is paying for postage for the invites as well as the rehearsal dinner. There are traditions about who pays for what, but more and more the bride and groom are footing most of the bill.
Also, to help you out, you may want to pick up a planning book so you have guidelines on timelines on when things should be done as well as various other planning suggestions.
2007-12-26 04:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to your fiance and see how you want to announce it. I told my close family and his first, then we had a nice little engagement party.
Really, www.theknot.com will become your best friend. It has etiquette, ideas and budget sheets. Sign up asap. Also, there are great ideas for wedding colors and themes!
Congrats! It's going to be a very exciting 2 years for you. I'm down to 9 months to go for my big day!!!
2007-12-26 06:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You personally announce the engagement to friends and family and you can put an announcement in the newspaper. There are many bridal magazines on the newstand that will help you plan the wedding. The groom or his family pays for the flowers,the rings, the rehearsal dinner, the minister and the honeymoon. The bride or her family pays for everything else.
2007-12-26 04:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Congrats!
2016-05-26 07:33:19 · answer #9 · answered by kendra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-12-26 04:35:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋